[tonyc]

I've posted this on the Ukraine forum but have copied it to this one on the possibly false assumption that Ukrainian and other realities re: this question may be similar.
I am wondering if I should try to establish contact with my son's birthfamily ( we have a four year old address in Rural Chernihiv, Ukraine) and if so, how to go about it with the best hope of not being rebuffed. Thoughts?
Thanks

[wannabemama]

That's a good question. How did you get the address? Was it provided accidentally? Was the child taken away or given up?

I've been thinking about this same type of thing. I haven't adopted yet, but am planning to adopt from China. Funny how I won't consider an open domestic adoption, but feel that I would be delighted to have contact with the birthparents in an international adoption. Maybe it's part of wanting the child to know where they came from since she would be a different race...? Or maybe it's the distance that would make me feel like it would be okay?

If you want to contact the family, I would say go ahead and do it. I would recommend you not tell your child until you hear something back from the family that is positive and I wouldn't hold out too much hope that the birthparents would be receptive to hearing from you. Maybe send them a gift from your hometown along with a letter and pictures...?? Or would pictures be too much in the beginning for the family to see?

Good luck in whatever you decide to do!!

[tonyc]

We got his birthmother's name from the Government of Ukraine, (Adoption Center, Kiev). Full disclosure of any and all info held is a normal part of the process in Ukraine as I understand it. We even have a photocopy of our son's original Birth Certificate (I think they still follow the practise of issuing a new and false B.C. at adoption, although my wife is better with remembering these details) which I think is unusual. I seem to remember feeling a bit tricky also lucky that we were able to obtain this.
Good luck in China. It will happen and you will more or less forget the waiting time blues/anxieties/whatever-other-uncomfortable-emotions you may be experiencing (you'll be too busy and too consumed).
Someone posted the following to a similar query I made on another Forum:
"I know there is a yahoo chat group called BirthParentContact. It's for international adoptions, including people who have already have birthparent contact and people in your position. ..."

[wwjdmelissa]

We also got our adaughter's birthmom's info and I have a friend that lives in Ukraine so I email Asley's mom a letter and Yana translates it for us and mails it to her. I was able to get pictures of her mom and her brother. I would recommend writing to the family to see if you can get in touch with them. One day we are going to take Ashley to Ukraine to meet her mom, grandma, and uncle and brother and show her where she came from. I think this will be very good for an adopted child to know their roots.
I have a friend that lives in Texas that was adopted from Ukraine as a teenager and I'm sure she would love to help in your situation. I can give you her email address and I'm sure she can translate it for you and email it back to you. Let me know.
Lots of blessings!!!

[wwjdmelissa]

I forgot to add that they birhmom was very glad to know that her daughter was adopted and is now being taken good care of and is being brought up in a loving family. She wants to continue getting pictures and updates on how Ashley is doing. I can't imagine not being able to afford my child and giving her up and never seeing her again or even know if she's still alive. I'm sure your son's birthfamily would atleast like to know how's he doing and what he looks like. Best of luck!

[Colorbind love]

We have an open international adoption as well. Our son's birthparents died long before he was adopted. But, we remain in contact with his uncle, aunt and 3 full biological siblings. Not bad for his being home for only 9 months. Right now, we use someone with the adoption agency as an intermediary. We are trying to find someone not with the adoption agency to continue helping us remain in contact, since the family does not speak English. But, it is our intention to provide information and updates for the biological family until our son grows up at the very least.

If you need someone to contact the family for you, I highly recommend finding a missionary in the country. Or, try a NGO if that doesn't work. Either one would be familiar with the local area and most likely be able to communicate with you in English as well.

[wwjdmelissa]

I talked to my friend Cheri and she said that they would be more than happy to translate your letters for you. She suggested when you write to double space so it would give her room to translate inbetween the lines. Good luck. Hope all goes well.