[kim532]

I was just curious when everyone informed their co-workers and bosses about adopting internationally. The reason I ask is because with many Internaltional adoptions there is a fair amount of travel involved. The problem also is that there is a fair amount of waiting involved also.

I am concerned about telling people at work to early and getting the annoying questions every week about how things are going. I have a couple of co-workers who grab personal information and ask you about it everyday even after telling them repeatedly that something isn't going to occur for a while.

I am not worried about my bosses(they are great), I am worried more about the people I work next to everyday. I would love to hear any stories from you guys.
Kim

[angiesavage1]

I told my boss & coworkers immediately. They had been there with me thru all of the infertility treatments (I'd had to take some time off for some of the treatments) so this was just the next step in a long line of steps DH & I had taken. At first, my coworkers asked a lot of questions but now they pretty much wait until I give them information. I do share alot!

If you are not ready to share this with your coworkers, then you shouldn't. If you were worried about the amount of travel that's involved, you could always go ahead & let you boss know so she/he would be forewarned but make it known you are not telling anyone yet so she/he won't let it slip.

When to tell people is a personal decision that should not be forced. Go at your own pace.

Good luck!

[mel452]

I told my boss and coworkers immediately. They have been through my 3 miscarriages in the past 3 years so they are very supportive of my plans.

I believe it all depends on the situation. Some work environments are more supportive than others.

[spaypets]

We didn't tell anyone except immediate family until we'd accepted a referral. Then we told everyone and I informed everyone at my job -- I announced it at a staff meeting (though I'd alerted my supervisor and HR) so everyone found out at once and I could answer questions just one time. It was another 6 months before we traveled so they had as much notice as they would have if we'd been pregnant.

I'm glad I did it that way. Waiting for a referral (about 5 months) was tough enough without people asking about it.

[bratgirl]

I had to tell HR in order to get my employment and insurance letters. My bosses found out soon after that. I had to take off time with all the various surgeries and fertility procedures, so it's not like they didn't know we were trying to start a family. I told select coworkers when our dossier was submitted (mostly secretaries, since they were in the know, but I hadn't officially told them). I told other teacher friends throughout the year as they would ask how fertility things were going. My husband has only told his boss to this date. He is a very private person, whereas I am much more open with my life.

[GCS]

I told everyone right away. I am really close to my staff and it would not make sense if I was going through something like this and wasn't sharing it with them.
I needed to get my employment letters done, so I would have had to disclose this anyway.
It has been a little tricky with all the questions about what I am going to do once I get the children home.
I don't advice you telling anyone you wont be coming back to work after adopting (if that's the case). The process is long and there could be some snags. You don't want to have to worry about your job security through this process in addition to everything else!
Christina

[lynnor]

HR suspected, but I did tell them if they knew what the letters were for (ie: they recognized the agency name), to please not say anything because nothing will happen for quite some time. They are supposed to respect privacy and did.

I waited until we accepted our referral before telling coworkers - and then I warned them how long it would be until travel, so not to pester me too much

[Ktates]

While I am pretty close with the people I work with I also decided not to tell anyone but my boss and the HR person. I told my boss and the HR person when I started the homestudy - mainly to give them a headsup on the travel and also to find out if I can do part time later on and what the deal is with maternity leave (there is none since I am not giving birth). My boss has been sworn to secrecy. There were quite a few people around me that have just had children so sometimes I wish I had said something so I wouldn't get the "when are you having kids?" question/comments. Basically I don't want people asking me questions I don't have answers to or making stupid comments when I am trying to do my job. Telling my boss was difficult enough - while he is supportive he's not exactly tactful about some of his comments.

I have tried to tell our friends it will be quite a while before we hear something but they still ask a million questions every time we see them. It's nice that they are happy for us but for me it's just a reminder that we don't have a child yet.

[spaypets]

When I needed the employment letter, I just told the HR person that I was refinancing -- it had to be on company letterhead and notarized.

And for the insurance letter, I contacted the company directly.

I just figure once you tell someone a secret it's not one anymore. My own father couldn't keep his mouth shut.