[logs10]

My husband and I are in the middle of our homestudy. Needless to say it is very overwhelming and confusing. We are going outside of Moscow (we don't know where yet) and doing 2 trips.

Our social worker gave our number to another couple who just got back from Moscow. I am just wondering if this is the norm. They had to take "gifts", the hotel was very expensive, they felt the baby had been given benedryl or sedatives in the orphanage, and they felt that everyone had their hand in their pocket. I'm freaking out a little and would like to hear some other experiences. Has anyone else done the two trip program? What was the orphanage like? What was the travel?

Any info is much appreciated.

5/04 application
7/04 in the middle of homestudy

[chucknfw]

You have to understand that there are cultural differences between Russia and America that make it tough to deal with at times. Moscow is very expensive and you will pay for American comfort there. If you can rough it then you can stay for less.

With circumstances being so tough in Russia compared to the U.S. and Americans comming over right and left to adopt children and dropping thousands of dollars each time creates the opportunity for people to take advantage of this. Gifts are customary in Russia. It is very common and almost expected to bring a token gift to hosts and hostesses on any ocassion in Russia. Gifts are given by adoptive parents to maintain relations with orphanages so that the next couple that comes through will receive the same kind of treatment or better treatment than you did. Here we expect to pay more for exceptional and expedited service. There, they have no provision for this. If you want to get your paperwork through in a timely manner and not spend an extra week or two in Russia then you go bearing gifts.

Each adoption has an orphanage donation. Do we have any assurance that this donation or fee is going for the care of the children. Not really but we do it anyway if we want to adopt there.

[bratgirl]

We are in the process of adopting a boy and girl from Russia. Your agency should have given you a very specific breakdown of the costs. Although some agencies tell you ahead of time that there is a monetary contribution to the orphanage - other than that no gifts need to be monetary. Orpahange donations are given to the orphanage directly on your first and/or second trip. Some items include: clothes, shoes, vitamins, toys, slippers and pajamas. Typical gifts for the orphanage director, translator and other women you have dealings with often could be perfume, cosmetics, etc. Gifts for men such as the driver could be American whiskey or zippo lighters or your local sports team shirts or hats. You can easily shop sales and not spend too much $$$ on the gifts. Once you see the poverty that exists in the regions and the needs of your child's orphanage, you will be more than happy to donate gifts to them. You should never be asked to "pay off" someone. If someone asks you for money other than was pre-determined - call you agency immediately.

I also strongly recommed you go onto the Russia board. It is an amazing support group and a wealth of information!!