[ginadc]

Hello all,

I'm currently undergoing treatment for breast cancer (age 37, husband age 34), which I fully plan on beating the crap out of thanks to my amazing doctors and general stubbornness. My husband and I were literally at the point of starting to TTC when I was diagnosed; fortunately I had not yet gotten pregnant, or we would have had a very painful and difficult choice to make.

In any case, the odds are stacked against our being able to have biological children (my oncologist would prefer that we wait at least 3 years until I am cancer-free before TTCing, at which point I'd be 40, and there's no guarantee that chemo will not send me into premature menopause anyway). So we are now exploring international adoption, which is something we had considered previously as an option if one or the other of us turned out to be infertile for another reason.

Obviously, we'll need to wait until my treatment is over and I'm cancer-free to move ahead. But being the "gather all information possible" person that I am, I've been talking to agencies and asking questions now, if for no other reason than not to get our hopes up and then find out that we can't adopt with my medical history.

After that very long intro, here's my question. I have heard that our two best options for adoption, given the cancer history (we are both otherwise in excellent health) are China and Guatemala, and that Korea and Russia are pretty much out. Does that jibe with the experiences/understanding of others on this board? Are there any other cancer survivors here who've adopted internationally who might be willing to share their stories? Does anyone know of particular agencies who have had experience in this arena? (I know that information would have to be sent PM.)

Any information, background, personal insights would be very welcome. Thanks!

[sunnysideup]

Your health history will stop you. Been there done that. Go domestic. We were told to find a doctor to leave my health history out of our home study. The agency even went so far as to say to us they would have their CW redo our homestudy and just not tell the worker about my health history. We would not lie so we went domestic.

Did you harvest eggs before starting treatments?

God Bless

[ginadc]

Really? That's not what I've been told by at least three separate agencies; and at one I spoke directly to the social worker who does home studies for NJ-based families. She said that the health history would stop us in certain countries but not others. All three agencies (which seem to be pretty legit from research I've done) concurred that we'd be fine with China and Guatemala, although it'd be a big no way for Russia and Korea. Where were you trying to adopt from?

No, I didn't harvest eggs.

[Sienna3]

Most Eastern European countries would not allow you to adopt after having cancer, so I agree with what some of those agencies were telling you.

The 4 entities that will have "say" in whether you adopt from a medical perspective are as follows:
(1)your physician who will perform a physical exam on you and have to sign a medical certificate or form that will be put into your dossier for whichever country you choose. Each country has their version.There is usually wording there about the doctor feeling that you have no condition that would prevent you from parenting the child until the child is 18.
(2)your social worker conducting the homestudy
(3) the agency that is going to place your child(which may or may not be the same as #2)
(4) the country itself, which may consist of an adoption committee and judge and child protective group and possibly others

Make sure all four of those entities are in agreement about your condition before you hand anyone money.You could ask the agency to send you a copy of the medical certificate needed for that country's dossier to gauge what their requirements are.

[ginadc]

Sienna, that's very helpful, thanks!

On #1, assuming that my treatment continues to go as well as it has been going, I'm pretty sure that my primary oncologist will be quite happy to sign such a form once treatment is complete. She's very optimistic about how things have proceeded thus far; I'm seeing her again this Friday and I'll ask her about that specifically for the future.

Now here's a question--which I will of course ask the SW/agency as well. Should I get a second medical certificate from a general practitioner, as well as from my oncologist? I wonder if a certificate/medical form signed only by an oncologist might look a bit tilted--more focused on the cancer than anything else. Obviously, my oncologist is quite extensively familiar with my general state of health, because she couldn't treat me otherwise, but would it appear more "comfortingly ordinary" for a GP to certify that "yes, she's had breast cancer, but she's in otherwise excellent health, low cholesterol, low blood pressure, runs 3 miles every other day, etc."---??

On #2/3, I'm leaning toward a specific agency in which the social worker conducting the homestudy would, in fact, be a representative of the agency. I have made quite a few calls inquiring about this to various agencies, and several were very helpful, but when one in particular put me in touch with their NJ social worker, she and I spoke at length about the whole situation, and I was extremely comfortable with her.

On #4, obviously...I'll just have to cross my fingers!

I'll definitely try to get my hands on the forms for Guatemala and China to see what we'll have to certify to. Thanks again for such a clear outline of the situation...I appreciate it!

[Sienna3]

Gina, my thought about who would sign the medical form would be your GP as long as your GP would have the details about your condition from your oncologist. I actually had the gyn part of my physical performed by my gyneolcogist and the rest by my GPand my GP signed our medical form for the dossier. It is possible that you may need to include a separate letter from your oncologist specifically about your cancer.

As for #4, I would hope that a good, experienced agency would know how the country would perceive your condition and it wouldn't be a guessing game.

Best wishes!

[sunnysideup]

When we did our homestudy my Oncologyst had to sign off on my med certificate. We tried China and India as well as eastern europe and were told by our agency no unless we altered our homestudy.

I talked to my oncologyst and he suggested domestic adoption because public agencies cant discriminate against me on the ground of health history. So we went throuh our county. We did our homestudy 4 years ago, maybe thing have changed.

I am sorry, I was not trying to be negative, just truthful. We spent many nights crying over what to do.

One more note we were told by our agency there would be no problem in regards to my health until after we paid our unrefundable fee. Then they told me about what I would need to do. Their reasoning was helping a child made it ok to delete certain items from our homestudy. So making sure everyone is in agreement like the other poster said is a good idea.

Agency was in Ohio, and their big.