[Tuco]

Hello everyone,
We are just beginning the process of international adoption. We have no personal recommendations for agencies or facilitators (in fact, I'm not sure the difference between them) and would welcome any by private message. We would like to adopt an infant, but are not choosy as to country.

Thank you very much for your help.

[sak9645]

... between an agency and a facilitator is simple, in the U.S.

Agencies are licensed by at least one U.S. state. They must meet requirements concerning financial reporting, qualifications of staff, record-keeping, policies and procedures, and much more. And although states vary considerably in the effectiveness of their monitoring and disciplinary functions, agencies can be delicensed for poor performance.

Facilitators are unlicensed adoption providers. Some are American individuals or organizations that choose not to go through, or do not qualify for, the licensure process. Others are people overseas who help Americans adopt without the aid of an agency, or help agencies identify children for adoption and shepherd traveling families through the in-country formalities.

Some states allow only licensed agencies to conduct adoptions. Others allow both facilitators and agencies to operate.

Both agencies and facilitators CAN be ethical. And both agencies and facilitators CAN be unethical.

That being said, licensure provides a certain amount of protection for a family, especially a family that has had limited contact with adoption providers in the past. Licensure provides a place where a family can register a complaint and have it heard by people with the power to discipline or delicense an agency. Licensure also provides at least some assurance that an organization is run by qualified people, that it follows appropriate procedures for managing funds, that it adheres to appropriate social work practices, and so on. With facilitators, there are no such safeguards.

American and foreign facilitators will sometimes say that they can provide services to families at less cost than agencies, because they do not have to comply with a myriad of bureaucratic regulations. This is debatable. Some agencies have higher fees than some facilitators, and some have lower fees. And some facilitators that advertise lower fees provide good service, while some do not.

With an American agency or facilitator, an aggrieved family can file a lawsuit, if other means for resolving disputes do not work. It can be a costly step, but for some families, it may be worthwhile. With a foreign facilitator, it may be impossible for a family to take legal action.

Sharon

[sak9645]

... that you choose a country before choosing an agency.

Perhaps when you say that you are not choosy about a country, you mean that you do not care whether a child is of one race or another, one cultural heritage or another. And that is fine, as long as you truly understand the challenges of parenting transracially and of helping a child to have pride in his/her cultural heritage.

But there is more to choosing a country than that. As an example, each country has different requirements for adoptive families. Some may specify a minimum length of marriage, or maximum number of divorces. Some may specify a minimum or maximum age for parents. Some may specify a maximum number of children already in the home. And so on. A given agency may have a great program in a country for which you don't qualify, and a mediocre program in a country for which you do. Obviously, you won't want to go with it.

Each country also has rules governing what sorts of children are available. As an example, some countries have many more boys than girls available, while others have many more boys. Some countries have young infants available, while others permit families living abroad to adopt only toddlers or school age children. In some countries, it will be possible to adopt children who are basically healthy, though they may have some orphanage-acquired minor illnesses or delays. In others, most of the children will have some form of special need. And so on. If you are absolutely set on adopting a female healthy infant, there are going to be some countries you won't want to consider, even if a wonderful agency works there.

Each country has a different adoption process. Some may fit with your needs, and some may not. As an example, some countries require that you spend six weeks or more there, or make two trips. Not all families can take that amount of time from their jobs, or afford two sets of airline tickets and hotel stays. Only a few countries allow a child to be escorted to his/her new family, an option that is attractive to people who have other children at home or who are deathly afraid of flying. Most countries provide you with a referral -- the specifics on a child who has been matched with you -- before you travel, so you can consult medical professionals and others about whether you can parent that child. Others require you to travel to the country and select a child, if one meeting your requirements happens to be available.

You should also know that some countries' processes are more stable than others. If you are very risk-averse, and if you qualify, you may want to choose a country like Korea, which has been placing children with American families for over 50 years and which has a very predictable and organized program. On the other hand, there are countries with far more children in need of families, but an adoption system that is new and evolving. There are also countries where the political climate is, overall, unsettled, and where there is a great need, but also some chance that a new government could decide to shut down adoptions or change the rules dramatically, while you are in process.

And, to come back to the issue of race and culture, you really need to give serious thought to this matter. How comfortable will you be when you walk into the supermarket with your child of another race, and everyone knows immediately how you formed your family and feels empowered to ask you all sorts of questions about your adoption? How well equipped are you to teach a child to have high self-esteem, in a society where there is a great deal of racism -- not just from people of your color, but from people of his/hers? Will there be positive role models, of the same cultural heritage as your child, in your community? Are you more interested in the art, food, holidays, music, and so on of one culture than another? You will have to incorporate at least some of these things into your life, if you have an internationally adopted child.

All in all, please, please do your homework with regard to countries before you start thinking about agencies. Not all agencies work in all countries, and some agencies do a lot better job in one country than in another.

Sharon