[Cbradley]

Just started the process.... Any advise?

[sak9645]

I'm an older single Mom. I adopted my wonderful daughter from China when she was 18.5 mo. old and I was "only" 51. Now, I'm 57 and she's 7.5 years old. We are having a grand time, and I feel younger than ever.

In fact, my daughter and I had two rides on a carousel today; I chose to ride the zebra, and was probably smiling even more than she was. We also went to the Freer and Sackler Asian art galleries that are part of the Smithsonian in DC. She and I both love Asian art. While there, we bought a CD of Chinese music to listen to in the car.

I would be delighted to talk with you about single parenting, raising a transracially adopted child, choices of country, travel to adopt, or whatever else may be of interest to you.

Sharon

[Cbradley]

Hi Sharon! Thank you for responding. You sound so happy with your little girl. What a blessing...

I'm interested in finding out the actual international adoption process from start to finish and what some of the challanges were that you faced. What should I expect? Did you go through any agencies?

Corey

[waitinginnj]

Hi - I am in the middle of the adoption process from Russia. I am currently waiting for a match. It has been a ton of paperwork, but a very exciting adventure. I started the process in Jan. I am 38.

More paperwork is going to Russia this weekend, which hopefully will help generate the right match for me. I am hoping to adopt a 6 - 18 month year old girl.

To me the hardest decision was choosing the agency. I figured if I got that wrong everything could be really difficult. But so far so good.

Good Luck in your decision making.

[Mary135790]

I'm a single woman in the midst of paperchasing for a child from China. I would say get on the internet (which is what you are doing) and find many adoption agencies that handle adoptions in the country(ies) you are looking at. They will generally list country requirements (married/single, cost of the program, basic income requirements, wait times, etc.). Go to live seminars if they are offered in your area, otherwise, call/visit (if local) the agency(ies) with a list of questions so you can have structured discussions and/or have them send you information. If there is an adoption or single mother support group in your area, go to the meetings. Read books on adoption. See if there are groups on the internet that focus on adoption from your country of choice. Some countries are going through changes due to Hague convention mandates on international adoption so do your homework! Go to the Department of State web pages and see what they are saying about the state of international adoption for your country(ies) of choice.

As for process, (in order) I chose a country (no doubt about adoptiing from China!), chose an adoption agency, chose a homestudy social worker, have spent 7 weeks doing homestudy paperwork/visits. Then send the homestudy paperwork to BCIS (formally INS) and wait a long time (2 - 3 months) for them to send approval, meanwhile, do more paperwork for your dossier that is sent to the country. Then send the homestudy and BCIS approval to adoption agency, they have it translated, send it to the country, then you wait many/many months for a referral of your child!!

Best wishes in your endeavor!

[zpavri]

Hi
I am a single parent of an adopted daughter from India. Usually the process takes 9-12 months. I had a lot of difficulties and it took me 18 months from start to finish. I had to switch agencies which led to the delay. You can try Special Additions agency. It is a wonderful agency with caring people. Their website is www.specialadd.org
I will tell you one thing, adoption is a long and sometimes painful process, but it is worth it in the end. I have been blessed with a beautiful baby girl and she will be with me one year tomorrow 08/07. Good luck to you
Z

[Greta Leigh]

I hope to adopt a daughter from Asia. I have been looking into China because of reliability and relatively low cost, as well as availability of girls. To my dismay, I am running into long waiting lists for singles!!

Can anyone recommend a program that meets my above needs, as well as working at reasonable speed?

Thank you,
Greta

[sak9645]

... there probably aren't any agencies in the U.S. with openings for singles in 2003, as a result of the 8% quota on singles dossiers imposed by China.

It is not clear what China will do for 2004, so you might want to wait and see if there is any relaxation of the quota, although most agencies already have waiting lists into next year and beyond, under the assumption that there will still be strict limits on the number of singles accepted. You could also try to get onto the waiting list for an agency now, so that you will be better positioned when new quotas are announced.

Do remember that, with China, all of the agencies go through exactly the same process and time frame. No agency gets referrals faster than any other.

If you are willing to accept a significantly older child or a child with moderate special needs, you may be able to work through an agency's waiting child program, which bypasses the quotas. Basically, selected agencies have been given lists of children who are likely to have difficulties finding families. If you are willing to consider a particular child, and if the agency considers you suitable, your dossier will be submitted to the CCAA, which must make the actual referral.

If you feel that you do not want to wait for China, about the only good option for singles wanting Asian babies at present is Kazakhstan. Kazakhstan is a country that is between Russia and China. The available children include Caucasians of Russian descent, Asians of Chinese descent, and biracial Caucasian/Asian children.

With Kazakhstan, there is usually a shorter wait for Asian children than for Caucasian children. There are more boys than girls available, although you can certainly adopt a girl. Many parents feel that the care given to the children in the "baby houses" is good. The biggest drawback to adopting from Kazakhstan is the long stay in-country that is required. You can wind up being there for a month or more.

At this time, both Cambodia and Vietnam are closed. They used to be great options for singles. Some people believe that Vietnam will open by the end of the year, but nothing is certain yet. If it opens, singles are likely to be able to adopt. There will be new policies and procedures, and it's a little too soon to speculate about how stable the process will be. Some agencies are already taking applications for Vietnam, and you may want to talk with them, although you should consider seriously whether you want to commit money to an agency before you know details about how the program will work.

I hope this is helpful.

Sharon

[Greta Leigh]

Thanks, this does help (though I was HOPING you would say, "Sure just talk to _____, they have a 2-month wait list!" Nice try, huh? :-)

I have heard some about Kazakhistan, and have heard it is quite a bit more expensive than China (by about $10,000!)--I don't ahve THAT much money available! Also, I would not want to commit money hoping that Vietnam comes back on line soon.

As for waiting children, from what I have seen a single agency will only have a handful of waiting children available. (I don't supporse this works like real estate, so I could choose from a large number? Isn't there any central source?) I would hate to commit to one agency, then find out that the child I want is listed by another! What do you know about how this works?

Thanks again,
-Greta

[sak9645]

Thanks for your comments.

I adopted my daughter from China in 1997. While the overall adoption process remains very much the same, there have been some rule changes since then, especially with regard to Chinese policies.

Everyone wishing to adopt, internationally or domestically, must have a homestudy by a licensed practitioner in his/her state. The homestudy must meet the requirements of the state, the INS/BCIS (for foreign adoptions), and the foreign country (if applicable). Basically, the homestudy both approves a person to adopt and prepares him/her for the challenges of raising an adopted child. Because I chose an agency in my jurisdiction to do my placement, I was able to use the same agency for my homestudy and post-placement followup. I was very pleased with the homestudy that was done by Adoption Service Information Agency, the organization that I used.

Everyone wishing to adopt internationally must also have INS/BCIS approval of his/her qualifications and of the child to be adopted. In most cases, families use a form called the I-600A for the part where the INS/BCIS approves their qualifications, and send it in before a child is identified. It must be completed and sent in to the local INS/BCIS office with various documents and a copy of the homestudy report. Upon receiving the application, the INS/BCIS will arrange for the adults in the home to be fingerprinted for an FBI criminal records check. The INS sends the family a form, usually the 171-H, indicating that the application has been approved, and this usually has to be sent to the foreign country as part of a dossier of documents required by that country. The main problem that most families run into is that the local INS/BCIS office may take a few months to process I-600As. Like most prospective parents, I fumed and fussed at the wait, but didn't have any significant problems.

The homestudy and INS approval are time-sensitive; they expire after a period of months. Therefore, it is not a good idea for a person to have a homestudy or file for INS approval too far in advance of a planned adoption. If a homestudy approaches its expiration date, or if there are significant changes in a person's life -- such as a move, a job change, a marriage or divorce, or the birth or adoption of another child -- homestudy update will be needed. If INS approval expires before an adoption is completed, a brand new I-600A will need to be filed.

In my case, adoptions from China were very quick when I started the process, and I didn't anticipate any need to redo documents. However, a big reorganization of China's system took place one month after my paperwork went to China. By the time I finally got a referral, my paperwork was close to expiring. I squeaked in under the wire in bringing my daughter home.

In most cases, the prospective parent is required to compile a set of documents that the foreign country seeks, and to have these documents go through a process of authentication and certification, as required by the country. As an example, documents such as a letter from the person's employer verifying employment and salary, a physical exam for from the person's doctor, the homestudy report, and so on, may have to be notarized. Then, the signature of the notary may have to be verified by the Secretary of State's office in the state where the notary practices. Then, the documents may have to be translated. And so on. If the person is using an agency, the agency will provide guidance on what must be done; in some cases, the agency actually may do some of the tasks, such as sending a dossier to the foreign embassy in the U.S. This is what my agency did.

When the dossier is complete, it is sent to the foreign country. Depending on the country's specific procedures, there is likely to be a wait for a referral, which means the assignment of a specific child. The specific child may be selected by the foreign country or by the agency. Some countries and some agencies allow families to select their own child, although there are some drawbacks to this approach. It is important that the child meet the INS/BCIS requirements for an adoption visa, or the parent will not be able to bring the child to the U.S. These requirements are spelled out in the Immigration and Nationality Act, which you can read on the INS/BCIS website. Agencies will know the requirements; people using foreign facilitators or trying to do an independent adoption sometimes run into problems.

When the parent receives a referral, he/she is usually given such things as a medical report and a photo or video of the child. He/she has some time to go over the materials with a physician, either the pediatrician he/she plans to use, or an adoption medicine specialist. (Adoption medicine is now a recognized subspecialty of the American Academy of Pediatrics.) If the doctor believes that the child has a serious problem, and if the parent believes that he/she could not parent a child with this problem effectively, he/she may turn down the referral. In most cases, if the agency or country will refer a different child, unless it appears that the family is simply saying that the child is a couple of months too young or too old, that the child is not attractive, or that the child doesn't "resonate" with the family.

Once a referral has been tentatively accepted, and this acceptance has been sent back to the foreign country, there is usually a wait until an invitation to travel is issued. Most countries require that one or both parents travel to complete an adoption. Some, such as Korea, allow a child to be escorted to the U.S. In most cases, the child is actually adopted in the foreign country. In other cases, such as Korea, the child is brought to the U.S. under a decree of guardianship for adoption here.

Once in a while, a "glitch" happens during the wait between referral and travel. In my case, the child whom I was first referred was placed domestically by the orphanage during the big reorganization, and the orphanage and province did not notify Beijing immediately. Beijing found out only when it forwarded my acceptance letter to the province, to prepare for my travel and adoption. Beijing sent another referral immediately, but it was a horrible time and I grieved as if I had gone through a miscarriage.

Agencies vary in the amount of help they give families who are preparing to travel. Some make all of the arrangements for airlines, hotels, in-country transportation, and so on. Many make the in-country arrangements, but allow the families to get to the country by whatever carrier they wish. In most cases, the agency will arrange for a guide/translator. I was very, very impressed by my agency's performance during the making of travel arrangements and the actual travel. As an example, it had contacts that allowed members of our group to stay in a very expensive Hong Kong hotel on our way in to adopt our children, at very reasonable fees. It also had access to good discounts on a particular airline, though it did not require use of this airline.

The length of stay in-country will depend on the particular country's process. With China, people generally travel, in groups, for 10-14 days. With China, your group goes first to your child's city or the capital of the child's province. You meet your child either the day you arrive or the next day and take custody of him/her. You finalize the adoption that day or the next in a government office. You then remain in the city for about a week while the paperwork is processed. Your group generally uses the time to tour the area, soaking up memories and buying up souvenirs.

I had gotten to know most of my group members (eight families including mine -- five married couples and three single women, including me) prior to travel. During all the delays, we spent a lot of time sharing facts and rumors, obsessing about possible changes in the rules, talking about how we would raise our kids, and (I must admit) consuming a quantity of wine. As a result, we were good friends by the time we traveled, and the trip was delightful. To this day, many of us see each other frequently. Three of my daughter's best friends are children adopted by group members. We hold a reunion every year.

With China, once group members have gotten documents such as their children's adoption decrees, birth certificates, abandonment decrees, and Chinese passports, they proceed to Guangzhou, in Guangdong province, where there is a U.S. Consulate. (Only the Consulate in Guangzhou, not the Embassy in Beijing or any other Consulate in China is allowed to process adoption visas for Americans.) The families get their children's visa photos taken. They take their children for a cursory medical exam at an approved clinic. They fill out forms called the I-600 that let the INS/BCIS approve the children's eligibility for adoption visas. They go to the Consulate, where the paperwork is reviewed. Then, the next day, if they pick up their children's paperwork and visas and are free to head home.

Traveling home with a new child is often a challenge. Many adoptive families consider their trip their "labor." Because my daughter was up the entire night before we left for home, and we did little sleeping en route, I had been up for almost 48 hours straight by the time I arrived in Washington, DC. Still, I would do it again in a heartbeat if I could.

Once a person is home with his/her child, the process is almost, but not totally complete. If a child has not been seen by all relevant parents prior to the in-country finalization, or if the child is brought to the U.S. under a decree of guardianship for adoption here, readoption is necessary. And many families readopt even when it is not mandatory, in order to get U.S. documents that are easily recognizable, replaceable if lost, and so on; to do a legal change of name and obtain a state birth certificate; and to be sure that issues regarding inheritance rights and other legal matters do not arise.

For readoption, or because of agency or country requirements, a family may have to have some post-placement visits by the homestudy social worker. I had to have three such visits over a six-month period. It was a wonderful chance to brag about my daughter!

A person will also need to obtain a Social Security card for his child and proof of citizenship. A certificate of citizenship is the most definitive proof of citizenship. However, because the INS/BCIS may take over a year to process certificate applications, many families obtain a U.S. passport for their children as a stopgap measure. It is proof of citizenship for most, but not all, purposes.

I hope this is helpful. I'll be glad to talk further if you have questions.

Sharon

[sak9645]

My understanding of the waiting child program is that you do not need to commit to an agency to view its list of available kids. You may have to have a completed homestudy and to have applied for INS approval, but I don't think you need to plunk down fees until you have decided to pursue a particular child.

Sharon

[hjdeth]

Greta,
I am a 40yo single mom and have adopted 3 times from Ukraine. I am currently in the middle of adopting my 4th Ukrainian child. My children were 5.6yo girl, 6.9yo boy, and 6.6yo boy at adoption in 2001 and 2002. None are related biologically. All are very different from each other in looks. My oldest son is fair haired and fair complexion, my daughter is romany, and my youngest son is bi-racial (black). All are adorable and have adjusted very well to their new lives.

The process for Ukraine is pretty straightforward...homestudy and INS, followed by dossier to UA, travel to obtain referrals and adopt child. With Ukraine you have the choice of agency or independent, I chose independent. Unfortunately, there is no preselection of children so you travel not knowing what child/children you are going to visit or adopt.

If you are set on an infant, then Ukraine is NOT the country for you since healthy children are not available for foreign adoption until they have been registered for at least 14 months.

The process is fairly timely. My first adoption was 6mo from first paperwork to home with the kids. 2nd was 9 months and this one will be about 10 months.

Feel free to ask questions.

[Greta Leigh]

A single mom with 4 adopted kids? WOW! I am IMPRESSED! What are your secrets??

How did you do an international independent adoption? I assume you sent in the papers and traveled on your own? (Sounds scary to me!) Did they just present you with a child when you got there, or did you have some choice? What was that like?

Were your children considered "waiting children" since they were older (not infant)? What has been the difference in adoption children of different ages: has one age seemed more difficult than another? What was the total cost? (I have seen some agencies for Eastern Europe that are quite expensive.)

OK, I think that is enough questions for one post!

THANKS!
-Greta

[hjdeth]

Greta,
Thanks for the compliment. I actually have a 19yo bio that helps when she is visiting from college.

I adopted independently through Cathy Harris. Traveled with my dad for my first adoption and alone for the second. Had both a facilitator and translator in-country both trips so wasn't really "alone".

By US standards, my kids would be considered "waiting children", but Ukraine doesn't have that designation so all adoptions follow the same basic process.

I think this age is easier, but then other than to spoil someone else's babies, I wasn't too keen on the baby stage. I like them much better when they are walking, talking, and can interact.

Cost...first adoption in 9/01 $19k 2 children, second adoption 11/02 $14k 1 child. Expect the same this year.

Sorry to be so short. Having internet connection issues.