[Bio-adop mom]

We are planning to adopt thru Russia which requires two trips. We also have 2 bio daughters ages 10 & 6. Leaving them is going to very difficult for me and them, and all I want is to have something of a plan in place for while I am gone...even though that is far away and I have no idea when. I'm feeling like I have no options of someone I trust who is willing to come and stay with them, get them to school, help w/ homework...just do my part for those few days. Has anyone else encountered this and come up w/ a good solution?

Julie

[ccmccoy]

Is there any way you can take them with you. I know it will be an added expense but it would give you and them peace of mind. (It is very scary for children to be left with people they are not very familiar with.) If you talk to the children's teachers I am sure they will give you work to do while you are gone, you could even fax some of the work to them. Also, the experence for the girls would be incredible!!! They may not get this chance again. It would also give them a chance to bond with the adopted child and you.

This is just a thought.

Good Luck in your journey

[jennyfields]

I was scared away from choosing Russia to adopt from for exactly that reason. The thought of international travel really stresses me, because I'll have to leave my son (who's 3) behind. I spoke to some parents who adopted a second child, and the advice I got from them was to leave the child behind. The trip is overwhelming, and you're going to have so much to do with the new baby that you will have little energy and time to invest in your other children on the trip. Of course, since your children are older, it might be an option for you. You know your children's temperments & needs. (Luckily, my parents live close by & are able to keep my son for one trip--I don't think I could handle 2.)

[qs mom]

Are you married?

Could you 'split duty'? One of you go with 1 child for one trip and the other 2 go the other trip?

Everyone gets to go that way.

I'm single, and this is my first child, so I don't have to worry about those concerns. Although, I REALLY would like someone to come with me on my pick up trip, but I don't think thath's going to happen.

[Bio-adop mom]

Thanks for all the replies. My husband and I are both required to go on the second trip; that's when we stand in court to formally adopt the child. I was told my husband could go alone on the first trip; however, I was also told by people who've done this that we should really both go because that is when the child is chosen and both parents should be in on that decision. I guess there are a lot of health issues and we should discuss what we are willing to handle and what we aren't, as well as both really agreeing on who is the right fit for our family.

As far as bringing the kid(s) along...I was never really leaning toward that, even though I'll miss them terribly, because #1) I don't like them missing all that school #2) it wouldn't be like a vacation; there's lots of paperwork and shuffling around and strange food and long plane trips--I don't think they'd like it #3) I don't think I'd be able to concentrate fully on what I'd be there to do if I was busy w/ my other kids' needs and finally #4) it's already a big financial strain--any extra plane tickets would just be too much.

I've had a dear friend step forward the other day and volunteer to come stay w/ the girls for at least one of the trips. She lives in another state and has a domestically adopted 1 yr old boy whom she'd bring along. It would be perfect practice for my girls on what a little brother in the house would be like, and they just love my friend...so I feel fairly good about the travel aspect now.

Julie

[qs mom]

How awesome for you!

I forgot about the requirements in Russia. I'm adopting from another country. My 2 trips are about 6-8 months apart and each is only about 4-7 days. I don't have to go to Court either. It's final before I get there. In fact, my petition has already been approved in Court and I'm just waiting for the judge to sign the petition.

You seem to have a good plan in place. Best of Luck - it's a bumpy ride, but worth every minute!