[Maryline]

Hi:

I am a single woman and I am thinking of adopting a child in the future. I am just starting to gather information about the process.
One question I had and that someone may be able to answer: whether or not you go through an adoption agency, can one visit on his/her own some orphanages and ultimately choose the child who will become your son/daughter?

Thank you for your answers

Maryline

[FamilyBound]

When we adopted through an agency for Russia, we weren't given the opportunity to visit orphanages and "pick a child". We were given the information of a child that we could either accept or decline.

I'm not sure about other countries, but I don't know many that will let you just 'visit and choose'.

Good luck to you!

[Maryline]

Hi.
Thanks for your message.
I saw a report a few months ago about two married journalists who went to I believe Roumania to make a report about an orphanage, and felt a special bound with one of the little girls there. They came back to the US and started the process to adopt her, which they did. Once I am ready to adopt, of course I don’t mind not meeting the child before adopting him/her and any child will be welcomed in my family.

It is just that I would have wanted to one day be able to tell my child that when I saw him/her, I knew he was my child and that I chose him. Even more so if I adopt an older child (over 8 years old) which I might consider. That might mean a lot to him to know that her mother picked him and that it was more than a random act.

[jennyfields]

I have talked to parents who have adopted from Russia who have, in a way, "chosen" their child. Russia has changed its procedures, & now you make 2 trips--1 to "accept" the child & the second for adoption. At a seminar I attended, one woman spoke & the agency representative referred to another couple that had decided, for whatever reason, not to accept the referral, but chose another child before returning to the states. I don't think that they were able to simply roam the orphanage until finding the child they wanted, but from the stories I've been told, you do have some choice in the matter.

[devon osborne]

Very often, it depends on the country whether you are able to "choose" the child prior to starting the proceedings.

More typically, however, you start the proceedings by applying to adopt a child from a country. The central agency responsible to coordinate adoptions will review your paperwork wherein you've described the child your looking for. When you visit them, they will show you pictures and files for a child that is "available". You will then pick out the child and visit the home to see the child and discuss things with the orphanage director. If you choose this child, things are concluded. If you don't, you return to the central agency and start over.

It's not a very sophisticated way to handle this situation but the intention is to protect the children and to avoid the appearance of "child selling". Whether it accomplishes that or not, who knows. But, this is the way it is in several eastern European countries.

In my case, I visited the central agency, discussed things with them. The agency head gave me a list of children she wanted me to see and included the one I had heard about from another couple which was very accomodating. I visited the orphanages, spoke with the children and made my choice.

By a strange twist of fate, I didn't adopt that child but another later from a disrupted adoption here in the US. The child I "chose" is being adopted by the family that wanted me to meet him. So, things worked out very well in the long run for all of us.

Good luck. And, based on my experience, be prepared for the unexpected!

Devon

[v_kats]

Maryline, it definitely depends on the country and also on the agency you use -- so ask around. Without soliciting our services, I can tell you these kinds of "open adoptions" where parents visit the orphanages and choose their kids were successfully performed in Russia, Kazakhstan, and Ukraine. Often times parents are even happier to make a choice only after personally meeting the childfren rather than pre-committing based only on a picture and maybe a video.

Hope it helps,
Victoria

[Wowzers]

I believe there is an orphanage or program in Haiti that will allow you to do this. Let me know if you are interested and I can dig up some more information.

[Shoshana]

Hi -- I have been trying to find this information re Haiti without success. All of the orphanages I've been able to find require Christian parents (I'm Jewish). I'd really appreciate it if you could locate any information.

Thanks!

Elizabeth

[Wowzers]

So do you want to go and "select" a child or is the issue that you can't find an organization that will work with a Jewish family? (as many down there are primarlily directed towards Christian families) Sorry for all the questions. Either way I should be able to help you. Please email me privatley at cheeto@telus.net

[v_kats]

Elizabeth,

Would you be wililng to travel to Eastern Europe? Orphanages in the former Soviet republics have no religious affiliation and have a lot of kids who may not be Jewish by blood but could well look like Ashkenazi Jews. If you would be interested in learning more, please e-mail me privately at v_kats@olderchildrenadoption.com.

Sincerely,
Victoria

[gkasche]

Check out Ukrainian Angels. I believe this is a site for a woman who assists people with independent adoption from the Ukraine. You are allowed to pick your own child. Also...my favorite orphanage in Haiti has got to be Dixie Bickle's God's Littlest Angels. Very inexpensive and wonderfully run. Best Wishes. Karen

[Roseann]

Hello Maryline,
I am in the process of ukrainian adoption...You do not get a referral there..you go to the ophanage and choose a child that would best suit you..My friends went to Ukrain and picked a child out of an ophanage in Kiev..and then traveled back and did it again she now has two beautiful children from Ukrain,,I wish you luck!
Rose