[chsinglefa]

I'm a single man, just applying to adopt an older child (6-10 yrs) from Eastern Europe, working with a reputable agency. I'm feeling both exhilarated & scared. I know it won't be all sweetness and light; I realize older children come with challenges. But, after reading some of these forums & also doing other research, I seem to be encountering a lot of nightmare scenarios - violent behaviors, suicide attempts, & challenges so overwhelming the adoptive parents sought disruptions. Like I said --- scary, especially because the advance medical and psychological reports from Eastern Europe, range from sketchy to non-existent, so it's hard to know what to prepare for. I have a lot of love and affection and can provide a good, stable home. But I want to do what's best for the child and myself.
At the same time, I've also come across a few stories in which children, adopted when they were older, have turned out quite wonderful. Quite honestly, I need to hear more of those.
So --- have any of you who have adopted older children from Eastern Europe got any positive success stories for me? Stories in which the children adapted fairly well/quickly into your families without major behavioral challenges?

[momraine]

My six year old is doing very well, though he does have some minor issues and has only been home six months.
My friend adopted two boys from a not so good orphanage at the ages of 10 and 11 and I just watched both of them (now 14 and 15) receive numerous awards at the school awards ceremony. She said there were some tough times the first year, but they have done incredibly well. They are both honor roll students, good in athletics and great kids.

[pnewcombe]

I think I am an older child adoption success story. I adopted four teenage boys in 2006 and after one year I can say that I am very happy. My older boys were about as old as they can get and still be adopted internationally but things having been going smoothly and the bonding has been great. The kids seem to have no more troubles than any teenager might have and that is in spite of living with a single dad in a foreign culture and having to deal with a new language. Actually, when I look at the transition they have had to make, I am amazed and very proud of their progress. The boys are very happy to be here and having a family after 10 years in an orphanage has been beyond their dreams. I have seen their self esteem grow and I think they will have a very good life now compared to what they might have had before.

Pete, pop to four great kids.

[onehappymom]

Hi, we adopted Natasha in Kazakhstan when she was 6.5. We still have a honeymoon.

At the beginning it was very hard. An orphanage child is wild, disobedient and stubborn. Natasha was not an exception.

But a lot of love and patience have done miracles. 99% of this behavior is gone. She is a real angel. She knows she belongs to us. We are family. She tells us she loves us very much several times a day.

Again, a lot of love, patience and understanding will pay off.

It will be difficult for you as a single man to adopt. Frankly the agencies don't favor the single men. There are a lot of sad stories going on about single men adopting.

I wish you much luck.

[ocracoke]

I am an older child adoption success story -- I guess. I was placed in my adoptive home at 7 years old after spending 2 years in the foster care system. I was taken from my bio family because of neglect and abuse. That was over 30 years ago. My father would say that I was not the easiest child to raise but I think I was a pretty typical teenager. No real rebellions, no real depression (until I was an adult), straight A student, successful in college, never fried from a job, independent, and a mom. I love my adoptive family. Older child adoptions can be successful.

Samantha

[karla-k]

Remember that there are children in foreign orphanages who at one time lived with families who loved them very much and are healthy kids, just life happens and they end up in an orphanage. If one or more of the parents are killed, end up unemployed, etc. they just cannot care for their children. Not all children are in orphanages because they were abused or neglected. It is possible to adopt a healthy, loved child...but how often you can find that child is another question

We have friends who adopted 6 & 7 year old brothers from Russia. She said it has been very difficult but the boys had gone from a home where they were neglected to an orphanage where they were neglected, but in a pack of other neglected kids. She said they have improved tremendously, but it was/is a journey not for the weak at heart.

good luck to you

Karla