[ParentsWanted]

Edited to remove agency solicitation - ToS Violation

[alibrad94]

Hi Katerina,
My name is Allison and my husband and I are waiting on a referral for a boy from Russia in the age range of 3. I would love to hear stories. I also wish more little boys could find homes. I have one biological son named Luke. He will be 5 in November.
I love the webpage.

[chucknfw]

I am going to an adoption support group tonight where most of the families there have adopted older boys and girls. Ages from 4 to 15 and most being from 8 to twelve. It is amazing seeing how these families are progressing. I can think of two thirteen year old boys who were adopted exactly one year ago. These boys are precious and are doing wonderfully in their new home.

My wife and I are waiting for a court date to go and get our children, two of which are older.

[chucknfw]

I am going to an adoption support group tonight where most of the families there have adopted older boys and girls. Ages from 4 to 15 and most being from 8 to twelve. It is amazing seeing how these families are progressing. I can think of two thirteen year old boys who were adopted exactly one year ago. These boys are precious and are doing wonderfully in their new home.

[csw]

Hi,
We wanted to adopt an older boy,,our son from Peru is now 12, we wanted an older boy and a little girl..We found that we could not afford two more,,we were frustrated the fee's in Guatemala ( or most other countries) were not reduced for an older child..we were finding the lawyer fee's to still be around $16,000 to $17,000 plus agency fee's. It seems that if they wanted older children to find homes, they would be willing to come down on the fee's. We are sad that we could not adopt an older boy, but are happy that we have our little girl..hopefully she will be home in 8 months...(we have been waiting 4 months already)...thanks, Cathy

[corrier]

Edited To Remove Agency Solicitation - ToS Violation

[dadfor2]

i never knew that people preferred girls over boys. what do ya know.

we adopted two boys, 4 and 7 at the time. they are the joy of my life....issues, yea, but doesnt really have to do with the sex of the child.

i agree with corrie, its the press and TV. look at law and order, its usually teenage boys, very rarly is it a teenage girl commiting crimes.....lol Maybe teenage girls dont commit crimes, i dont know.

i also belong to a adoption parent support group with childcare.....yea!!!!

and the worker always says "the boys were great, but the girls...well, all over the place again this week"

just thought id mention it....

dadfor2

[Colorbind love]

I share your frustration. When I started sharing our intentions to adopt an older boy online, someone actually informed me that he would rape my daughters (his younger sisters). At first, I was completely appalled. But, I have sense run into this mentality frequently both online and a few times IRL. At those times, I can clearly see WHY no one takes older boys. They are afraid. And, honestly, I don't know that there is anything to be afraid OF but still the prejudice and fear continues.

Our homestudy worker actually made a comment when we were doing our homestudy that we were braver than her because she couldn't adopt a boy older than her biological children, in order to keep her childen safe. Ironically, she ate her own words when she traveled to Guatemala and feel in love with not one but TWO boys, both older than her biological children. She is now working to make both of those boys a part of her own family.

In her case, it took actually knowing and bonding with those boys before she could get over the fear and misconceptions. And, she was an aodption professional who knew in her head that it was all myths. How much harder must it be for someone who doesn't necessarily know its not true and doesn't have the chance to get to know a little boy for themselves first.

I know for our family, we doubt we'll ever adopt a little girl. Our hearts just break for the boys who get turned away just because they are boys, and we feel we should stand in the gap and give those boys a chance. We might someday adopt a girl. But, most likely we'll continue to adopt little boys.

[corrier]

I would like to just bring up a real situation that happened in my sister's family.

They hosted a high school senior boy exchange student from China in their home one year. After the boy returned home, it was revealed by her 4 and 5 year old sons that this boy had sexually molested both kids at knife-point during his stay.

This was an unusual and sad circumstance and the effects of it have haunted my nephews for years. Both are teenagers now and act more like a seven and eight year old than their real ages. They are extremely clingy with my sister and her husband. Neither is well-socialized. It is impossible to know whether that is they way they would have been without the molestation at this point.

I just wanted to bring this up as food for thought, especially if the boy to be adopted is older than your current children and has any abusive background (sometimes hard to ascertain). Even though I am a huge proponent of adopting boys, I would not adopt one older than my son.

Just my opinion, based on a bad experience. There is nothing I wouldn't do to protect my darling son, and my heart breaks for my sister.

--Corrie

[Jeanne21]

In the sense of molestation, can't you say the same thing about older girls? Older girls who were abused are more likely to abuse, especially younger children. If the data was collected, it will likely be shown that little girls abuse nearly (if not equally) as often as little boys... So, if you adopt an older girl, you would still have to worry about the same issues, especially if the girl is older than your other children.