[ripples]

Madonna's at it again. And the media is yet again framing the dilemma far too narrowly as "staying in an orphanage in Malawi or getting an 'education with
Madonna'". Little consideration options for the child to be raised by the child's relatives IF they were provided with sufficient support. Given that, according to Forbes 2007, Madonna's net worth is $325.5M she could probably do more for the world's poor by donating some of her riches to aid to help reduce Malawi's US$3 billion foreign debt instead.

http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/entertainment/5462067/charity-urges-madonna-adoptio\
n-rethink

I'd be interested to hear from other Inter-Country Adoptees (ICAs) as to your views on the pros and cons of international adoption, whether it be being adopted by rich stars or not.

[MamaS]

The child's mother is dead, her father is unknown and her only identified relatives put her in the orphanage and said they would be back for her when she was six years old (old enough to work!). Do I think Madonna is a moral person? No. Do I think she is a great mother? Not really. Do I think little Mercy would be better off herding cows for her aunt and uncle or learning Kaballah with Madonna? Well, Madonna sounds better.
As for "give the money you used for an international adoption to a family in a poor country so they can keep their child and you can be childless", -- why not tell families with bio-children "instead of selfishly having that second child, why not support a single mother so she won't have to go on welfare."?
It makes me as angry as "If God meant you to have children you would have been able to get pregnant, so adopting a child is going against God."
Madonna made her money and I made mine. If we want to adopt, we should be able to do so. If we want to build a school in Malawi, we should be able to do that too. Without being judged.

[CRAZY_WOMAN]

I see nothing wrong with her adopting this child that was sent to an ophanage.I not getting why anyone would expect just because she rich she should pay the bio to parent this child assuming the officals of the country didn't find some way to take the money from the bio family.

[LibbyHawkins]

Originally Posted by CRAZY_WOMAN

I see nothing wrong with her adopting this child that was sent to an ophanage.I not getting why anyone would expect just because she rich she should pay the bio to parent this child assuming the officals of the country didn't find some way to take the money from the bio family.

exactly, there are a lot ways to help out, it doesn't take 325 million you know . . .

But it is not Madonna's or anyone else's responsibility or obligation to support others with there money. Would it be nice if she gave more to charity? Absolutely, wouldn't it be nice if we all did?

That is not the issue here, the child is already in an orphanage.

[lovemy6]

There is a difference between being in an orphanage and being available for adoption. This child isn't available for adoption and it's my understanding that foreign adoptions aren't allowed in that country.

[LibbyHawkins]

Originally Posted by lovemy6

There is a difference between being in an orphanage and being available for adoption. This child isn't available for adoption and it's my understanding that foreign adoptions aren't allowed in that country.

I guess I didn't realize there was a difference, can you point me in the direction of the information about Malawi not allowing foreign adoptions, I am interested to read about this. Thanks for all the information!

[feb171983]

Lucky kid!

"The girl's relatives at first resisted the adoption but have now consented, they said."

"Madonna first travelled to Malawi in 2006 while doing charity work and filming a documentary on the devastating poverty and AIDS crisis there. She is also establishing a school for girls there."

"..Malawian law requiring an 18- to 24-month assessment period before adoption.."

1) The relatives consented...
2) We don't know the situation, and whether or not she has previously been "assessed." In my opinion, this case is a private affair for this lady, and isn't my business.
3) Of course, the relatives (any legal guardian remaining) or parents of this or any child should have to consent to an adoption. The adopter should be able to provide a loving and provided for home.
4) That's great that she's trying to establish a school there, and doing humanitarian work. Kudos to her.

As for child adoption laws, those should continue to be governed by Malawi law, with appropriate checks in place to ensure the welfare of each and every child.

[sugarmuffin]

I am so glad I found this thread....... I don't think its fair that Madonna gets to bypass some of the Malawi's laws but I do think that it would be unfair to deprive Mercy James of the kind of life Madonna would give her. She would be exposed to a whole new world and God only knows what kind of change she(Mercy James) can later bring into the country. Personally I think she(Mercy) deserves this break and it shouldn't be taken from her.

[ananas]

I saw on the news and at no surprise i am sure to anyone that Madonna's appeal was in her favour and she can adopt the little girl. There are many mixed views on this. I look at it as any person going through the adoption process, we are adopting from the country that we legally can adopt. I think the law of having to be a resident for between 18 months and 3 years is not practical for anyone and the Social Services in the Adoptive parents countries are capable of carrying the follow up visits. But this law should now be changed to allow others to adopt from Malawi not just Madonna as she has given around 12 million dollars of aid. It leaves a bad taste in the mouth and hints of buying a child. Whether she the little girl is better off with Madonna or not who really knows but if she went through the home study i did, i believe she would not have passed it. Newly divorced and most probably classed as too emotional at this moment in time to make such a decision. In the public eye with much younger males does not set a good example. I am sure if my referees said i was out clubbing with a man nearly half my age it would have been a great concern. I am not saying she is a good mother or not, i do not know or no one else except those closest to her. But this adoption to me says "money buys you anything" and that is the tragedy. I am suspicious of whether or not she threatened to stop aid to the country, there are rumours but that is all they are. The best that can come from this is the country changes its laws for everyone and the country benefits from the publicity with more aid being given. I also disagree with the fact of what a tragedy the little girls life would have been, Malawi is not America or Britain it has its own culture and heritage which should be respected and valued and I have to disagree with one view that being a goat herder or otherwise is no life for anyone. It makes you no less a person in life than anyone else especially someone who sings and dancers half naked stimulating sex on stage for their money.

[CRAZY_WOMAN]

Originally Posted by ananas

I saw on the news and at no surprise i am sure to anyone that Madonna's appeal was in her favour and she can adopt the little girl. There are many mixed views on this. I look at it as any person going through the adoption process, we are adopting from the country that we legally can adopt. I think the law of having to be a resident for between 18 months and 3 years is not practical for anyone and the Social Services in the Adoptive parents countries are capable of carrying the follow up visits. But this law should now be changed to allow others to adopt from Malawi not just Madonna as she has given around 12 million dollars of aid. It leaves a bad taste in the mouth and hints of buying a child. Whether she the little girl is better off with Madonna or not who really knows but if she went through the home study i did, i believe she would not have passed it. Newly divorced and most probably classed as too emotional at this moment in time to make such a decision. In the public eye with much younger males does not set a good example. I am sure if my referees said i was out clubbing with a man nearly half my age it would have been a great concern. I am not saying she is a good mother or not, i do not know or no one else except those closest to her. But this adoption to me says "money buys you anything" and that is the tragedy. I am suspicious of whether or not she threatened to stop aid to the country, there are rumours but that is all they are. The best that can come from this is the country changes its laws for everyone and the country benefits from the publicity with more aid being given. I also disagree with the fact of what a tragedy the little girls life would have been, Malawi is not America or Britain it has its own culture and heritage which should be respected and valued and I have to disagree with one view that being a goat herder or otherwise is no life for anyone. It makes you no less a person in life than anyone else especially someone who sings and dancers half naked stimulating sex on stage for their money.

Maybe after there country see how good David and Mercy are being raised or turn out,They will make the laws easy er to adopt from that country.Also we don't know if Madonna's the only one that would have been able to bypass that 22 month resident rule.At least Madonna adopting children from this country will open the doors for other people to look at the country to adopt or send help.Also with her money and heart those kids should have even a better chance of knowing their culture and heritage.And Some day they should have more money to help their country out.Also i think the media make thing up just to make a story,So you can't believe everything they say.I just try to see this a good thing.I've only heard good things about her parenting skills,So I can't believe these children will turn out bad.

[cborsa7]

I think the law of having to be a resident for between 18 months and 3 years is not practical for anyone and the Social Services in the Adoptive parents countries are capable of carrying the follow up visits.

This is not a law.
It is what the media has reported as a law. It has been customary for Malawi to impose a foster period (18mths) on adoptions, but it has never been listed as a law. They also do not have a law defining residency requirements as has been stated by the media. If you check the government website for Malawi adoptions it clearly lists the requirements by law. You can't always believe what you read in a magazine and money buys you a fantastic Malawi Lawyer...

[stilldeciding]

I think if a child is wanted and is given a good home, then adoption is great. I personally have no objections of anyone adopting and if Madonna has the money to adopt and is proven fit to adopt..then I say....she should be able to adopt like anyone else.

That said, I am not one of these people who would ever want to be a movie star/actor or Hollywood type. The idea of cameras following me and being in the public eye..is not something I would ever do. To me, having all that money is not worth it. The kids who are raised with a camera following them around struggle..so that would be my biggest concern for the child...the stress of being in a family of a famous person. UGH!

[ripples]

Originally Posted by stilldeciding

I think if a child is wanted and is given a good home, then adoption is great. I personally have no objections of anyone adopting and if Madonna has the money to adopt and is proven fit to adopt..then I say....she should be able to adopt like anyone else.

What concerns me are two things:
1) did she go through the full due diligence adoption process?
2) did the birth parents truly provide consent?

I don't think that just because someone has enough money and is deemed fit to adopt are the only criteria to give the OK. Fully informed consent on the part of the birth parents and following full due process are also important. While I highly doubt that Madonna is engaging in child trafficking, what concerns me is that by allegedly fast-tracking/bypassing the due diligence process, it could be setting a precedent for two things:

1) coercion of birth parents
2) opening loopholes for organised crime networks that wish to engage in child trafficking

Also, if there are doubts about the full consent of the birth parents, how do you think the adoptee will feel in years to come in finding out that his parents may not have provided full consent? In my own case, I found out that my birth mother did not provide full consent when she relinquished me and my birth siblings. While I know that my a-parents were not directly part of dealings with my birth mother, (rather, I imagine that the adoption system at the time didn't give poverty-stricken birth parents any choice), it still breaks my heart knowing the immense suffering that my birth mother had endured as a result of having been coerced.