[ripples]

I'm curious to hear from other international adoptees who'd searched for their birth parents. Of those of you who'd been able to glean information about your birth parents' circumstances when you were relinquished, what information did you find out about how your birth parents, particularly your birth mother, were treated before and after you were put up for adoption? How did you feel about your birth parents' experience?

The reason I ask is that I've learned from birth mothers about the horrendous pressure and coercion that they were subjected to and the huge lack of any support that they were provided. I've also heard that in many countries today, many women are still subjected to these similar pressures or worse. When I heard about what my birth mother had suffered, I was absolutely saddened and outraged over what she (and my birth father) had endured as a result of the lack of social support systems when I was born and adopted out. I am even more outraged when I hear about how many women worldwide continue to be pressured and/or coerced into relinquishing their children as a result of things such as societal taboos about single motherhood and/or lack of appropriate social systems to enable the mother and child to stay together.

For all the billions of dollars that are currently being spent on international adoption placements, why aren't these dollars instead being spent on providing adequate support systems for birth parents to keep their children in the first place? If you're wondering what I'm referring to, have a look at the web site for the Association of Relinquishing MotherS (ARMS) or the 2007 published book, "Outsiders Within: Writings on Transracial Adoption".