[MenloAve]

alexlamm I read your post and a few others and was just floored. First, I can't imagine anyone actually saying, "you were raised white." (I don't doubt that she said it, just what was she thinking it meant exactly?) What is white? What is caucasion? It isn't a culture, it is a color of skin and not a very accurate description if I might add.

All "white" people have many different backgrounds, culture, and ethnicities that can/should be celebrated. Think of the difference between the Irish and the - say Dutch. If you are Saudi Arabia you are considered white, if you are from Armenia, Russia, Poland, Italy, Iran, Iraq, Serbia, yes, you are "white". No where else in the world do they group "white" into one bucket and assume they are all the same.

I feel sad when I hear kids/adults feel like they don't fit in either due to adoption or just because they are - by skin color a minority in something (work, school, family, etc.) And I know no way to change it because I haven't sat in their shoes. All I can do is say, your birth families culture is rooted in years of tradition, learn it and enjoy it.

I hope that by celebrating all of our families cultures, both bio and adopted we can create a sense of "our new family culture". It will be different, but we will all fit in because our ancestors come from many different countries and an Indian tribe. I think that combination is part of what being American is - and I hope to pass on that message of inclusion. We'll see if it is successful.

[SuzySSunshine]

This is a great question.

I was not adopted from overseas so culture was not a factor in my upbringing. I did grow up with several Korean adoptees.

My son was born in Korea and we put a fair amount of effort into keeping him connected to his culture. Our (Korean) friends often laugh that I make him do more Korean 'stuff' than their kids! However I believe that if you are less able to connect to your child's birth culture it is not a particular problem for your child. Ultimately, a family that conveys respect for all cultures and has bonded well is most important.

My peers growing up did not enjoy any connection to their birth cultures. They had their family's culture and nothing else. I know that there are some people who struggle in that sort of situation (though again I think that is more related to general intolerance/racism than anything else) but the people I know had no problems and question a heavy helping of birth culture focus.

Sadly it seems that most adoption literature and books never connect with the majority of us because happy proud adoptees don't go around writing books about how being adopted is no big thing. It would be a pretty short book and it just wouldn't occur to us to write it!

[ripples]

Originally Posted by SuzySSunshine

Sadly it seems that most adoption literature and books never connect with the majority of us because happy proud adoptees don't go around writing books about how being adopted is no big thing. It would be a pretty short book and it just wouldn't occur to us to write it!

It is an interesting question as to whether the majority of adoptees are a happy silent group who don't see being adopted as a big thing.

I do know that there have been studies about the mental health of adoptees in general and transracial adoptees in particular. Here's an excerpt from a conference paper from the 8th Australian Adoption Conference in 200. The paper was titled, "The Service Needs of Transracial Adoptive Families" and was written by a counsellor from the Post-Adoption Resource Centre (PARC) in Sydney, Australia - it seems to find mixed info:

"Regarding intercountry adoptees, predominantly positive outcomes for were similarly discovered by Hjern and associates using data from Sweden's Centre for Epidemiology. The data indicated that the vast the majority of for people adopted from overseas do not experience extreme negative outcomes in terms of their mental health (Hjern, Lindblad, Vinnerljung, 2002).

Notwithstanding, the concern is with the higher rates of mental health problems than among the general population in receiving countries. It has long been known that adoptive families are disproportionately represented among those who seek help from mental health services (Brodzinsky, 1990, p.3).

Some of the recent research has supported the view that one reason for this is that adoptive parents are more inclined to seek help (Warren, 1994). Other research has shown that, even controlling for variables contributing to this, adoptees are still twice as likely as non-adoptees to have received counselling (Miller et al, 2000).

The study by Hjern and associates found that, among the Swedish population, after adjustment for major confounding factors, intercountry adoptees were 3.6 times more likely than Swedish-born children to die from suicide, 3.6 times more likely to attempt suicide, 3.2 times more likely to be admitted for a psychiatric disorder, to get involved in drug abuse (5.2 times more likely) or alcohol abuse (2.6 times) or to commit a crime (1.6 times). It may be that the experience in Sweden cannot be directly generalised to the Australian context, but these figures do give cause for concern."

[Cassie85]

I was adopted from Colombia and my parents are Caucasion living in the U.S.

My parents had high school Spanish and I remember them speaking it sometimes when I was younger (usually when they didn't want my siblings and I to understand what they were saying, ha ha) but that's the extent of my interaction with the language.

I think being born outside the U.S. has had an odd effect on me in terms of the fact that it's made me cling very tightly to my adopted country. I am very interested in history, particularly U.S. history and I always felt very touchy about the fact that I wasn't born here, that it wasn't "mine" (although pretty much all Americans have ancestory that is not based in the U.S.). I purposely stayed away from learning Spanish (I took German in high school) and becamse fiercely patriotic. I had no interest in learning about where I was born until a few years ago when I went to college. I am still rather touchy about it, I think mostly because when people find out I was adopted from outside the U.S. they get very "fascinated" and start to look at me like a foreign object, like I don't belong here.

I have no resentment in the least towards my parents for not trying to instill in me my birthculture or language or anything else related to where I was born. I appreciate that they accepted me as part of the family and part of their own history and culture. I think for me personally if they had done otherwise it would have made me feel like I was being singled out as different.