[Mandy4President]

I keep going through all of the information that we have on our daughter that we adopted from Guatemala. I've been trying to memorize it for some reason, like I want to be able to tell her when she gets older without having to dig out all the official docs. I go to put some of it in her baby book and I don't know how much to put. What do you guys wish that your parents would have told you? Is there anything that you wished they wouldn't have? Is there anything information that you wish you had that you didn't get? I just never want my daughter to look at me and say, "How could you not KNOW that?" What do you think is important or appropriate to put into the baby book as far as the birthparents go?

[ripples]

Hi Mandy4President,
It's great that you're thinking about how much to share with your daughter and the possible sensitivities on your daughter's side.

My adoptive parents told me everything they knew, shared all the documents they had and I'm glad they did their honest best. There's nothing I wish they didn't tell me. My recommendation is that you include everything. Your daughter can decide what she wants to read/know and what not to. Like talking about sex, I think it's important that adoptive parents take the initiative to let their children know your door is open to talk about their feelings/questions about adoption, otherwise the kids may think that it's a taboo subject.

I think there is a book called "20 things adoptees wish their parents knew" or something like that. It's been recommended to me by other adoptees, but I haven't actually read it yet. I think there are other good books on how to talk to one's kids about adoption, eg. "Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections". I'd read some of the articles, particularly the ones regarding transracial adoption issues and I thought they made sense.

Just my two cents' worth.