[KittyKorner06]

I am an international adoptee and I have considered searching for my birthparents, however, I just feel like it is almost impossible. My parents have told me that it probably wouldn't be that hard to locate my birthparents, but I just feel like there would be sooooooooooo many obstacles. Language barriers, cultural differences, etc, etc, etc.

Part of me just wants to forget it all and another part of me is afraid that if I waited too long it might be too late. Does anyone else feel like this?

AnnaK

[ripples]

Anna,
I share your feelings very much. When I embarked on my search 22 years ago, it did feel extremely daunting. And I remember that each enquiry, each letter I wrote, every step was very draining. And yes, there are so many obstacles - language and cultural barriers really make it hard. Then there's the lonely journey through the maze of bureaucracy - trying to understand and navigate a foreign country's redtape wasn't easy. Through several flukes last year I was finally able to find my birth details and birth siblings. And in many ways, yes, it is too late as I found that my birth parents died long ago and now I have a lot of regret and guilt to work through.

What I asked myself when I began the search was which would I rather face? Not knowing at all? Regrets when it is too late? The hassles of the search? If you have a post-adoption resource center nearby, I highly recommend it. If not, I can at least recommend an online one, Inter-Country Adoption Support Network the Inter-Country Adoptee Support Network.

There are many of us who share your feelings of hopelessness. I send you warm thoughts so that you may somehow find inner hope and strength while you mull over this dilemma.