[Bassette]

My husband and I are cc adoptive parents to a guatemalan born child who is now 2.5 years old. He has been home with us for more than 2 years and I am a SAHM. We are a very close family with an older child, 18 who is cc/aa (my former marriage). My children think each other hung the moon but there is 16 year age difference and my daughter is off to college next year, leaving our son to be the only child in the home. I am wondering if any of you would offer guidance or insight to this AMother to an internationally tranracially adopted child. Is there anyting you wish your AParents knew when you were growing up? Things they did right/wrong? Do you have any reading material to recommend?

Anything you can offer is much appreciated. If anyone has any questions for me I am more than happy to answer or engage in dialogue. Thanks heaps and take care.

[thomasheverin]

Hello,

I am an Honduran adoptee. I was born in 1976 and was adopted at birth by a white American family. I definitely have some suggestions for you. First let me say that I think it is great that you are asking for advice. You child is in good hands! lol!

My suggestions are:

1. Learn as much as you can about Guatemala (the history, the culture, the cuisine) so you can teach your child. And I think it would be great if you learned some Spanish and taught it to your child. If you taught your child Spanish, not only are you showing your support in identifying with his native culture but you will also be helping with future cultural identity issues.

2. Try and make friends from Guatemala or any other Latin American country so he can have some point of reference with the Latin culture.

3. I have heard about a book called "Twenty things adoptees wish their adoptive parents knew" that has received good reviews.

4. One really important thing is to not call him or treat him like "the golden child". I was treated that way and felt like I had to be perfect so I wouldn't disappoint my parents. That still effects me now because I try and please everyone or tell people what they want to hear so they will like me and won't leave me.


Finally, in general take a part in teaching your child about his native country and its culture and realize that in some ways he may not be able to relate to you so it is nice to have friends who have a similar background to his.

Well, I hope this helps. You can email me at thomasheverin@yahoo.com if you have more questions or want to share your thoughts.


Thomas

[drjeanne]

Great question Steph! And Thomas!....thank you so much for your answers! It's so nice to have your point of view! We are also adopting a Guatemalan child and often worry about what sorts of problems this will cause (we are a white American family). My husband has already voiced that he definitely wants our daughter to learn Spanish and we have even discussed staying in touch with her fostermother who loves her SO much and perhaps taking her to visit in Guatemala when she's maybe 10 or so...depending on her maturity at that time. I hadn't thought about some of the points you raised about not knowing which ethnicity you felt most comfortable with, etc. We want our daughter to grow up with a healthy attitude toward all races and we want her to be healthy and happy on the outside AND inside! Thanks for your help towards achieving that goal!

J

[mecster]

We are adoptiong from Guatemala and I am 1/2 Mexican.
We are very close to our hispanic family, here in Dallas and in San Antonio so I am hoping that helps. I totally agrees travling there would be beneficial as well.
Your sign off sounded like you visited in Feb and in March were still waiting?? Do you have you child now?
Mec

[dancingmyrtle]

Hi there. I am an adult adoptee from Guatemala. It's too late right now for me to get into a long post, but please feel free to PM me and I will answer any questions you have based on my personal experience. Thanks!


-MKC