[ripples]

Well 'Happy Chinese New Year' to all interested. Now that I'm in the post-reunion phase of my adoption experience, I'm mulling over the personal meaning of my birth-country's festivals (eg. Chinese New Year). In the past, I've pretty much not related to being Chinese as I was raised in a Caucasian family. Even when I lived in a Chinese community overseas and then later in China, I didn't really relate much to Chinese customs such as Chinese New Year. Eg. I would feel greater personal connection to Christmas and Thanksgiving than Chinese New Year. Like, Chinese New Year feels about as personally meaningful as Hannukah or Kwanzaa to me. So today is officially the Chinese New Year but I don't particularly feel any personal connection.

So my questions to other international adoptees are, do you relate to your birth-country's festivals/national days, etc? If you've gone through a post-reunion with your birth family, does your birth-country's festivals/national days, etc; have any particularly new meaning for you? Or, like me, do you have difficulty relating and connecting to the cultural significance?

[ddhuab]

very interesting question.
Bumping this up for you.

[nsanders]

Hi Ripples,

We just had our annual Chinese New Year party for 25+ adults & 25+ kids. It was a great time. CNY is one our family's favorite holidays. We will also be in the CNY Fresno Parade on Feb 11th.

Our son was adopted from Tainan, Taiwan in 2003. He is only 3 now, so the party & parade are just stating to sink in. We belong to a large group of families with children adopted from Asia. As the kids get older, I hope the time spent together will mean more. Some of the kids will travel back to China & Taiwan together one day. They take cultural classes together when available in our area. We, as parents, cannot be a substitute for an entire culture, but we can try to add more.
It also adds to our lives as well.

As an adoptee as well, I find things much different today than when I was adopted (1967). It will be interesting to see if new beliefs and values change how many adoptees feel in the future. Although I have never searched, we will support him fully. We still keep regular contact with his nursery.

I hope that your reunion went well. I bet it was a good trip. I went to Taiwan during SARS, so did not see much at all.

[ripples]

FYI - apparently in Chinese tradition, on the second day of the lunar calendar, married women are allowed to go home and visit their own parents For Married Women, One Chinese New Year but Two Banquets - NAM (they visit their husband's parents on the first day of the lunar calendar).

Also a common activity (at least here in Taiwan) is for people to visit temples to honor their ancestors and offer prayers.

At this time of Chinese New Year fervour, I pause to reflect on what my birth mother's experience must have been. Given her separation from all her children, it must have been a very sad time. Amidst all the festivities, it is also a sad time for me as I remember my birth mom.

[adoptkoreablog]

Hmm. I feel no deep connection to my birth culture. I have not met my birth family either. I enjoy learning about the Korean culture, but I really don't feel it's mine. I'm content that I'm not Korean and I don't need to have the connection.

[ripples]

Yeah, I didn't feel much of a deep connection to Chinese and/or Taiwanese culture, even when I was living in Chinatown or in China when my a-mom was teaching English. However, the significance of Chinese festivals and my birth culture didn't hit me until I reunited with my birth siblings.

Living here in Taiwan now (temporarily), I still feel like a foreigner in a foreign land but the resonance of Chinese/Taiwanese culture has taken on a more important meaning for me now. It's great that there are so many overseas Chinese/Taiwanese people here of various blends of international background (eg. Taiwanese born but grew up overseas; overseas-born and both parents who are Taiwanese; overseas-born and one parent is Taiwanese, etc). I feel that there are many types of people here with such cross-cultural, blended family backgrounds who can relate to integrating multiple cultures. I'm glad that I was adopted from a place that's very international. Tons of Taiwanese people have lived overseas and the awareness of international cultures is relatively high. I can only imagine how out of place I'd feel returning here if Taiwan wasn't so cosmopolitan.

I welcome hearing from other international adoptees too.

[InionGrinn]

I have a similar disconnect with my birthculture - although I have been trying very hard to bring my culture to 'life' for my own edification and for my children's sake.

It's hard. My first family is from Ireland, which at first blush you may think "oh thats a cc culture, you are cc, how hard could the leap be" but it IS hard. I wasn't raised in an Irish-American family but was always on the outside of all my friends and their silly St. Patrick's day antics. I didn't find out my heritage until I was 17, in fact.

I didn't realize until last week (St. Patrick's day- which is a big holiday for my first family here in US and overseas) just how difficult and sad it is for me to be trying SO HARD to fit my Irish birthright into my life. I am going through motions, doing the St. Patricks festivities. I thought this year would be this big completing thing, that I could re-capture what I lost.

What I found out was that celebrating this holiday with members of my first family only made my loss of the culture and traditions more pronounced. I am still reeling from the profound sadness I felt last weekend, going through these gyrations that are SO difficult for me. It isn't natural to me to fall in with my Irish family, and that brings me sadness.

But I go forward...for my own children's sake. I want them to have the exposure, traditions, music, food, culture and family that I didn't have. It is THEIRS too. It's a shoe that doesn't quite fit me but I must pass it on to them, I think it will fit them.

Have you read "the language of blood"by jane jeong trenka? Great book.