[girlOK68]

HI! I was adopted in oklahoma so if my parents decided to adopt over seas then i would be stuck with a drunk dad or a foster home that would possibly BEAT ME!!!!! OK! SO I crossed the line with that one, i am sorry for that but, PLEASE help our children first!!!!!!!
If it is that you don't qualify for a american adoption then we will change the laws. I know that they need homes to but look what is happening to our would with the war! They need you more than ever now!!!!
Sorry!
girlOK68

[dbarrie]

Do you think that a child cares where they are from? I know that children need help everywhere...but no child deserves a home more than another because they are from the united states.

Adoption is a personal choice and where a person chooses to adopt is also personal choice. You dont know why some desire an international adoption or why they woudnt. Its no ones business where or who they choose to adopt. What about the children in third world countries that would have been in the same situation as you if they wouldnt have been adopted? Do you really think they have it any better over there?

How about a thank you for people that care enough to take an unwanted child in to their home?

[reneetaylor]

GirlOK68 - Go get a passport and take a trip to Russia sometime and check out the orphanages and the children who are living on sugar water because the orpahange directors cannot get government funds or donantions to buy adequate food. Take a look into the eyes of a child who is malnorished, underclothed, and living in a room with 50 other kids in the same situation, and remember that if they even live to reach 16 years of age, they will then be put out on the streets to fend for themselves and more than likely have to resort to a life of crime and prostitution just to survive. Do you deny that those children need loving homes just because they are born in another country?

I know that American born children need homes too, but when you look at how difficult the government makes it for children to be removed (permenantly) from their abusive or neglectful homes, you will see why it is so difficult to adopt within the US. Yes, there are children who are put into bad situations, and I feel for them, but look at the way our Dept. of SS handles the children's welfare. They repeated put children back into dangerous situations with the intention of keeping them with their blood relatives, when the best thing they could do in many situations is to remove them and let them be adopted by one of the MANY hopeful parents out there who just want a child to love and take care of and make a family with.

I'm glad you are such an advocate for adoption of needy American children, so I guess that means that you've gotten your homestudy done and are waiting for a referral?

Renee

[gkasche]

I would just like to say that yes children from everywhere need a home...but in America...try to get one. In 1993 we got our homestudy done and anticipated we would have a child in our home by Christmas. We already had two sons by birth so we were hoping for a girl. We are caucasian and were open to any race, many special needs, and up to age 5. If she had a sibling that was great because we wanted to adopt twice anyway. After three years we were still waiting. We heard..."you already have children, you live in an all white community, you want a girl they are hard to come by...you want only up to age 5..we have no children...etc. etc. etc." I got a listing of all 67 county agencies in PA and wrote a personal letter to each one...letting them know that our homestudy was done and we were active looking for a child. Our of 67 I got 4 responses back. All four said the same thing...we have no children available at this time. I couldn't believe it. I would hear that there were thousands of children in foster care in PA but try to get one out of the system. We didn't want to be a foster home for years having children coming in and out of our home back to the chaos they came from. I wanted a waiting child. But needless to say...after 3 years and many feelings of bitterness at the system in the United States...we went international. We are now blessed with two darling daughters from India and have just gained guardianship of our third daughter...also from India. All of our children were special needs placements. It seems that in the United States the social welfare system seems hellbent on keeping families together no matter how long it takes. Blood is better than bonding seems to be their motto. To adopt here outside of the state system was far too expensive for us. We have adopted three times from India for less than we would have spent on one private adoption here. You need to research the system and how adoption works in the United States before judging others on their decision to adopt internationally. Karen

[organicmommy]

Ok I had to say something on this. We are currently homestudy ready in our state to adopt from the waiting children. We have said that we wish to adopt a child under the age of 5 and are open to many special needs, any race, color etc. However, if you look at the waiting children in any state they are generally older children or they have a large sibling group. We are open to up to 2 siblings to start with. But you can not hold it against social services that they do not have children that are young. These children most times go to the foster family that they have been with for a great deal of time. At this time we are not open to doing foster care but have decided that after a year of waiting if we have not been matched we will try that route. I run a daycare so children are in and out of my home for various reasons. I agree that maybe the children should not always be sent back to the same situations that they came out of, but I also believe that if at all possible the children should stay with their blood relatives.

As for going to another country, I don't think that is terrible either. The war going on has nothing to do with those children in other countries, they deserve a loving home as much or MORE than any other child. If we are going to turn on the social service system in our country first we need to open our homes to all ages, races, religions and special needs. Then we would have the right to maybe have hard feelings for the people that are unable to place a child for us.

[denise marie]

we have tried to adopt in the states and they make it very hard.We had 3 of them that went bad and the state makes it so hard.I am not sorry for adopting internationally and what does it matter? children want love they are kids too.they no differnece .dont they all deserve love in states or out?

[uberlib]

First of all, I'm not sure what you mean by "their" children or "ours"...kids are kids, wherever they come from. Thinking of "us" and "them" is a sure way to guarantee that we'll never get past all the nationalism and hate that keep wars going.

Secondly, adopting anywhere with the idea that you are saving children from some terrible plight is a bad idea. That puts pressure on the child to "earn" their adoption, when in truth, I feel like I am getting more out of our adoption than the girls are. But, if one has to quantify which children are worse off, in America there are state agencies, however imperfect they may be, that look after the welfare of children, and programs in place to help families and children with food and shelter. Lots of places around the world don't have that, and children often wind up on the street.

Thirdly, in the case of my wife and I, we are adopting from India because that is where we feel God has led us. Personally, I feel that my two little girls were, are, and always will be, meant to be with us. They just happened to be born 10,000 miles away is all.

Peace

Mark

[gkasche]

Dear Mark,
I couldn't agree with you more. We also were very led to adopt from India. We are a family of three little girls from Comibatore Tamil Nadu and two sons by birth. God Bless you in your adoption. We will be traveling in a couple of weeks to bring home our little Maya age 19 months. We did give the U.S. a try harder than anyone can imagine who has not been through it. After three years...we gave up and adopted from India. You are so right...the children here at least have food and a bed!! The children in India have nothing...but they they are the happiest lot I have ever met!! Take care...Karen

[uberlib]

Karen...

Good luck to you as you travel! We're heading over in about a month (no definite date yet) to adopt Sapna and Sampa, 6 and 3 years old, from New Delhi. We're praying this stupid war for oil in Iraq doesn't interfere with that.

Peace

Mark

[denise marie]

Congratulations mark
I also adopted in india.My daughter is 7 years old and has been home 4 months.She was from bombay.We tried several times to adopt in the states to have alot of money and heart ache.We also felt that God had it in our plans to adopt from india.Now we are working on the adoption of our 3 year old special needs son.I am so glad we chose this.Our daughter has done so well its incredible.She knew about 20 english words and now she SAY ANYTHING.We are so blessed to have this beautiful child in our lives.And to be blessed again with our son.Gkasche how long will you be in india?Are you just going to pick her up or do you finsish part of the adoption there?Our case its all done and we just pickedher up.I know its differnet depending where ya go through or different parts of India.

[Darlene]

Hi All,
I am very excited to read that you are adopting from India. My husband and I are researching adoption from that country as well. As much as we would like to adopt from here in the U.S., it is so darn difficult. It can be very expensive, it can take forever, if a younger child does come up for adoption through DHS, then there are several homestudies for one child, then you get interviewed maybe more than once, you sit around and wait while they are interviewing other families, and then you wait awhile longer...it's just difficult. No guarantee that you will get that child after all of that waiting, interviewing etc.,
FOr those adopting from India, do you care to share which agency? Also, how long a wait? What we have found so far is that you have to keep updating your records, physical exams etc., Any info you all care to share would be fantastic. Also as my husband says, here in the U.S. when the children get out of foster care, they at least have a chance, you take those third world countries, chances are there won't be any opportunities.
Thank you,
Darlene

[Ellie82]

I agree with some of the other posters here--take a trip and see what children overseas deal with every day. I was adopted here in America, but I would love to adopt a child from overseas some day. I see what kids go through here in fostercare, and the I go overseas on mission trips and visit orphanages in the Indies and see what those children deal with (disease, malnutrition, and some never have even been hugged!). It's great to have people like you who are willing to help children here in America, but don't get mad at people becuase they want to adopt from another country. Your heart is with the American children, theirs is with the children overseas.

[gkasche]

Darlene,
It is wonderful to hear that you are interested in adoption from India as well. We have adopted three times through the agency Families For Children. If you would like to contact me privately...I would be glad to give you the details. God Bless...Karen in PA gkasche@usachoice.net

[ll_bay]

We are adopting two sisters, ages 3 and 6, through Children's Hope International. Our entired adoption process took less than a year, and some fees were reduced, as they were "waiting children" (because of being a sibling group). Also, much credit goes to CHI and to our social worker here in KY; both have been absolutely marvelous to work with. FYI, we leave March 14th to pick up our beautiful girls! Feel free to reply or to e-mail me off-list with questions, etc. Blessings to all- Laura

[denise marie]

OK i posted a reply and for some reason it started a new thread grrrr.laura congrats on your daughters.I bet you are soo excited.soon you will have your sweet daughters in your arms.How long will your stay be in India?are you finishing her visa there?Im just curious cause things are different with everyadoption and agency.Our whole adoption for our daughter was 9 months from start to finish.I never thought the day would get here.But it will be 4 months the 28th that our sweet 7 yr old daughter has been home with us.Are you changing their names or keeping them?We changed our daughters first name and her indian name is her middle name.We did ask her before we did it.She loves her new name which is ...Rebecca Sunita.She told me her name was from god it wasso sweet.My husband was in India for 3 days and we waited it out with our INS on our daughters visa.But we could of went to New Dehli to do it.My husband wasnt comfortable with it.He loved India.I want to go with him this time to get our son when time comes.congrats again on your beautiful daughters.