[vibhag]

Hi,

I've been reading these post for couple of days and feel much better knowing that me and my hsuband are not alone.

I am a US citizen (orignially from India) and my husband is a green card holder. We've been looking to possibility of adopting from iNdia. Life just doesn't get any easier... there is 1 - 1 1/2 yr wait and that too from our native country. I don't understand.. in a country where thousands are without parents, food, and shelter.. there is a shortage of babies OR is it a money-making venture to exploit those of us who are so wanting to start our families and provide a loving home?

I've spoken with a NRI coordinator at an agency in MA and she didn't sound optimistic or even supportive. It sounded more like "why you want to adopt from India". Is there no hope for us?

anyone else in this situation or knows of someone who is?

Vibha

[spaypets]

When you say wait, what do you mean? Our daughter came home almost a year ago and from the minute we walked into the agency to the day she was placed in our arms was 17 months (we're not NRI). That "wait" included the 4-5 months it took to do all the paper work and have the meetings with the sw. We submitted our dossier and homestudy to the agency in April, got a referral in late October and our daughter came home last May.

In India, children are first offered to Indians living in India and at least three families must pass over the child before they are offered for international adoption. By then the child is at least 6 months old and often authorities require that the child be offered to parents in other parts of India. Only when those requirements are satisfied are the children approved for international placement. Then NRIs are preferred over non-Indian families.

The wait is long because, as I'm sure you know being an NRI, Indian bureaucracy moves slowly. First the adopting family must be approved. Then there is a scrutiny hearing and any issues with the application must be resolved. Finally is the guardianship hearing.

All of these events are slowed by vacations, holidays and the fact that decisions are typed on manual typewriters (it took 2 weeks for my daughter's guardianship decision to be typed).

I'm also sure you know that India had some adoption scandals where there were accusations of baby selling. Part of the process is to ensure that adoptions are ethical and the children are genuinely orphans and that every effort has been made to place them in their country.

Believe me, I sympathize. I was so incredibly frustrated at how long it took to get a referral and then how long for our daughter to come home. But now that she's been home a year, well, if that's what I had to endure to get the child I now have, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Think about it. It takes people who can conceive 9 months to have a baby -- and that's assuming they get pregant right away. 18 months is a drop in the bucket when you consider you will have a child for a lifetime.

[ModernMother]

Have you considered adopting a waiting child? Many agencies have special needs or older children who desperately want a family. If you choose a waiting child, that eliminates the referral wait time. you can see some waiting children at http://ichild.org/photolisting.htm ask around at different agencies, many have waiting children available.

[Terry in OR]

Just based on the attitude the person you spoke with showed I would go elsewhere as far as an agency is concerned. The feedback you get should be positive. Feel free to pm me and I will be happy to share information on the agency I used.

Waiting is the hardest part of the process and it does seem unjust at first that the children can't come home faster when there is such a great need. All of the involved agencies and governmental bodies strive to make sure all is done in the best interest of the child. They want to make sure the children are placed with loving caring families where they will be treated properly.

Be unwaivering in your desire and you will have a little one to wrap your arms around sooner than you think!

All the best,

Terry, mom to Gouri-Rose, BSSK 32 months