[shellydm]

Hello everyone,

Well after over a year of choosing a country and agency, we think we finally narrowed it down to India. We are so excited to start this journey. I am so excited to have found this board!

First question, is the escort option available for India?We are hoping to adopt a baby girl under the age of 2.

We need to use the escort option. I am afraid to fly my husband is in the process of getting his perm greencard (I am a US citizen born and raised here). He can't travel out of the country until that is finished. You know how the INS is, who knows how long this could take?

I would love to hear from you! Do you know if escort is possible? Have you used this option, or know an agency that is OK with this? Also I noticed some agencies on the website say an infertility statement is needed, other agencies didn't mention this. Do you need one to adopt from India?

Thanks so much for your time everyone! I really appreciate it!

Shelly
PS We were thinking of using PLAN Loving Adoptions Now , has anyone used them or heard of them?

[shellydm]

Thank you so much! I appreciate your time! I will look into the site you suggested.

[denise marie]

I do know that some agencies do have an escort option for babies under age 3.Also it is a requirment for the infertility doc to be done.

[chloeg]

I don't believe that it is an Indian requirement to have a statement of infertility, but an agency requirement, the CARA website will tell you for definate though, as it has a list of required documents.

India is trying to stop escorting, but so far they have just introduced stricter guidelines, so there are agencies that still allow escorting, I don't know which ones though, other than International Family Services (IFS). It is no longer allowed for someone to escort a group of children, there must be one escort per child. Generally only children under 2 can be escorted, although there are exceptions. The court has to okay it for the child to be escorted, and they will only do this if they feel the circumstances to be such that travel is not a good option for that family. Oh and also only a member of agency or orphanage staff can escort.

I think that's about it,

Chloe.

[chloeg]

I forgot to say these new regulations are not at all strictly enforced, and there is a high chance that they never will be, but they do exist, so you should be aware of them.

[Cheryl in MO]

Congratulations on reaching this exciting stage of your adoption journey! I know it is a scary time, when you actually are getting ready to make a commitment to all of this!

I think several people have replied to your question about escorting. All I would add is that it seems to vary from agency to agency (and possibly from orphanage to orphanage even with the same agency), so make several inquiries before you reach a decision. The requirements may also vary according to the age of the child being adopted.

[Edited To Remove Agency/Facilitator/fee based services Recommendations or comments]


Once you've got all your ducks in a row, it will be worth all the work and all the waiting!

- Cheryl in MO (Mom to 2 from India)

[pushpafl]

Hello,
I was adopted from India when I was 6 I am now 41. I came escorted only by the stewardess. From my experience I had a lot of resentment that my parents never came to get me and I had to meet them for the first time at the airport...just something to think about. There are many things to consider for the childs first moments with you as parents. Let me know if there is anything that I can help you to understand about the childs perspective that may make it easier for her.

PDuncklee

[Cheryl in MO]

Wow, hello!

I don't think I've ever hear from a person adopted from India who is now in their 40s (making you my own age!).

I am very curious to know about your experiences and your perspectives. My children are now 4 and 6, so I want to listen to those who've been there so I can be a better parent for my kids.

We did have an escort for each of our children, but they were both infants at the time. I am quite certain that if we'd adopted children with fully-formed awarenesses and personalities, we would have travelled, gotten to know our children on their "turf" and learned about their friends, their routines, and the surroundings they were familiar with.

I am curious if you feel that the age of a child is a factor when making this choice.

I'd also love to know whether you traveled back to India with your parents when you were an older child, to see the country again together? Did your parents make an effort to learn about India and Indian culture and share this knowledge and their enthusiasm about the country with you?

If not, do you think these things would have made a difference in your life? (I guess I am assuming that you were not raised in India....)

Our thoughts when we chose to have an escort were that by doing this we would be fresh and ready to help our children adjust to their new family and new surroundings, rather than jetlagged and possibly dealing with intestinal ailments. We're raising our girls with the knowledge that we will experience India together as a family when they around 10-12 years old, and are having a terrific time learning about the culture, attending cultural events, etc., while we wait until they're old enough to really absorb what they're seeing. (We're assuming we'll only be able to afford to travel there as a family one time, so we want to make it count.)

Sorry, I just have so many questions! I know you're just one person, with one set of experiences, but I've encountered so few people in your position, I'm very anxious to hear your thoughts. )

[pushpafl]

Hi Cheryl,
I wanted to reply to your series of questions.
I cannot say if the age matters for an escort, but I do think your relationship with the child will benefit by knowing where they come from personally. Through your own experience of where the child comes from you will understand them better.
The two times that I have gone back to India, were on my own, not with my adoptive parents. I brought people with me both times and they fell in love with the country and came back understanding me differently.
I think it will definitely help the kids to have parents that will support them to learn and EXPERIENCE their own culture. I did not have this as a child but find that it is so ingrained in me.
Everything even the smallest things would have made a difference in my life.
Someone once told me that as a child from another country you feel as if you are like a flower that is picked from that nurturing ground to be brought into the indoors to try to flourish in a vase with only water and that is really how it has felt for me.
Let me know if I did not answer your questions or would like me to answer any other questions.
Thanks,
pushpafl

[leenab]

Hi Pushpafl,

I completely agree with you about the escorts. My husband was born in India and raised by his bio family. We've been married almost 3 years and I haven't yet been to India. It is very difficult at times to understand where he's come from without having been to India. And he's in his 30s. I have met his father on his recent US trip, but havem't met his mother. There is a huge piece of him missing. We're planning a trip soon after finalization of our 2 sons domestic adoptions. (one African american, one haitian) Yes we will be going to Haiti too, most likely 2006.

India has such an amazing culture. We're lucky to have many Indian friends and live near an Indian community. There's all of the food, clothing and religious icons. The festivals, dances and the amazing sweets. I could write pages about Indian culture. Almost forgot to mention language diversity & BOLLYWOOD! How could I not mention Amitab!

Maybe it's me but I would have loved to see where my children came from. We're adopting both of our boys through NJ Fostercare System. They're older, 3 and almost 4 yrs old. So I know I missed out on some of their lives already.

Living in a culturally diverse family I understand the need to learn about other cultures. I grew up 1/2 Hungairan 1/4 irish 1/4 italian. My life was so much richer because of this. Now I have a 100% Indian husband, an african-american son and an haitian/US born son. I really couldn't tell you what our next child will be culturally. But where ever he/she comes from we will visit. Most likely we will have a girl next, very possibly an Indian daughter.

I highly rec. going to India, as long as it's not monsoon.


LeenaB

[crow]

Please e-mail me privately if you are still wanting information regarding PLAN.
kathycrow54@yahoo.com

[wetherhaven]

We adopted through Plan and had our daughter escorted from Hydrabad in 1/01. We may have had the last international apoption out of AP for several years as the state closed international adoptions. Plan was great to work with. Many factors can impact the process such as what happened in AP after we got our little girl. Key is that you must work with someone you trust and that is honest and caring as this is an emotional and costly process. I highly recommend going ahead. Contact me if you would like more info.

[crow]

I used PLAN in 1998-99 when I adopted my girls. The adoption took 20 months from the time I applied to the time I traveled. PLAN estimated 18 to 24 months when I started the process. This is pretty normal for an adoption from India. I think India requires that at least one parent travel to pick up their child, but PLAN should be able to tell you that. All the best in your adoption process.

K Crow
SW Washington

[ModernMother]

Welcome Shelly. I think escort is an option, but they really encourage you to travel. My agency didn't require an infertitlity statement, and I have three bio children.