[Dano069]

Hi Everyone:

I'm searching for my birth parents and siblings. I recently found out that I was adopted (as was my older brother) at the age of 40! I know this is a shot in the dark. First of all because of my age and also because I was a private adoption. The information I do have is that I was adopted out of the Misericordia Home on the southwest side of Chicago, in February of 1962. I was adopted by the Maluta family. Birth certificates and all other pertinent information have my adopted parents as birth parents. My birth certificate was altered in November of '62 to add my middle name. Hopefully, someone out there has some info. Thanks for listening.

[Dano069]

We'll, I've decided to stop actively looking for my birth parents. It's not because I'm frustrated with the system, although I am, nor is it because I've been looking for a long time and see no hope. Rather, it's because I'm a peace with my bmom's decision.

I mean, I've always been at peace with it. I've led a pretty good life and had wonderful, loving, caring adoptive parents. When I found out earlier this year, at age 40, that I was adopted, I found it hilarious! My brother (46, and also adopted) and I have always kidded one another that one of us HAD to be adopted. Guess what? We were! I'm still laughing about it today and that's why I'm not gonna look anymore. Things worked out the way they did for a reason. I wound up with the family I was supposed to live my life with. I did want to post a couple of thank you's though.

First one goes out to my adoptive parents, Mr. and Mrs. John Maluta. You loved me like your own and treated me very well. You were my parents and always will be. I miss the both of you terribly and look forward to our reunion when I pass on from this reality. I love you.

The second thank you goes out to my birth mom (and/or dad). It couldn't have been an easy decision to make. Thank you for making it. I hope to one day find you (hopefully, by your reading this and contacting me ) but if not, I definitely look forward to OUR reunion when I pass over to the other side. Don't know when that will be, but I'm still looking forward to it. I wanted to let you know that I got your brains. I've been pretty smart all my life and I'm sure that's due to your genetics and my adoptive folks pushing me to always learn something. Thanks again. I love you.

One last thought. My prayers go out to all you wonderful folks who are searching for either your birth parents or adopted children. I sincerely hope each and every one of you find your missing loved ones. God bless you all and good luck.

[Anna Chicago]

I to am searching for my sister born in Chicago I know that she was born at the booth hospital salvation army on oct 4th 1962 do you have any information about when your birthday is or where you were born at E Mail Me ThatsMzTaz2U@aol.com

[Dano069]

Hey all. Okay, got some new information. I was privately adopted in September of 1962. I was born 2/15/62. My mother was 22, single, of Polish decent and was unable to keep me due to being "Unable to explain the child's presence in the home" The adoption was arranged through the family doctor (who was the family doctor for both families). His name was Dr. Preis/Pries. My father was also 22 and was in the Illinois National Guard and was a laborer. The adoption was finalized on 9/17/62.

[Dano069]

Well, things are looking up a bit. My Confidential Intermediary has had contact with my "birth relatives" She's had to send out Certified Mail since they have an unlisted phone number. Hopefully, within the next couple of weeks I'll know whether my family wants contact with me. I'm hoping they do.

[Dano069]

I like the Doors, so much moody music.

Well, it looks like my search has reached an end. My CI tells me that my case will probably be closed this coming Tuesday (7/15) due to lack of progress. We've found my b-mom, but, she hasn't responded to my CI's requests for info. The CI says she's probably scared to death since no one in her current family knows about me. If we had the original judge on the case, we'd probably get more time, but, Cook County did the circuirt court shuffle and reassigned my good judge and replaced her with a not so good judge. Oh well, guess the reunion will take place after I'm dead.

[Dano069]

Right after I posted my last message, I was informed by my CI that my b-mom wants no contact with me whatsoever. So, as they say in Hollywood.....The End.

[mapper_32611]

Hi,

You probaly have checked already, but if you have not, the Chicago Daily Law Review should have the legal announcement about your adoption which will include the last name(s) of the birth family.

My wife just discovered her adoption this year at the age of 41. The secrets that have been kept are amazing. We are still searching for her family. From what I have heard, there will be an intermediary process available this January due to a new law. We are hoping we can use that to find them. But, as you know the response may not be what we hope it will be.

Thanks for sharing your experience.

[Dano069]

I mailed a Christmas card to my birth mom this past Friday. I included our first names, a family photo, my work phone number and our return address minus our name. The last one I agonized over but decided, after talking with my inlaws and my wife, that fair is fair. I know her address, she should know mine. We'll see where it leads.

[mapper_32611]

Way to go Dano!

I have read many examples where some members of the adoption triangle are not ready to move through the pain and secrets of the past to get to the future. As you know, there are some secrets her current family members might not know about.

During my search I have been told by search angels that they have helped maintain those secrets and established meetings between bmom's and their relinqueshed children. While it would be great for a full family reunion, perhaps private meetings would help get things started.

I hope your act of Christmas kindness lets her know that you are there when the time is right. In the mean time, keep hoping, understanding and praying for the day she has a change of heart -- however long it takes.

Unless your adoptive parents have a problem with it, you might consider including your last name in your next correspondence. Perhaps that Mother's Day card !!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Joe
An LDA spouse
ISO Chicago Bmom/family 12/06/62, maiden name Loren.

[Dano069]

Haven't heard anything back on the Christmas card I sent. I didn't really expect to, but, you never know, right? With my birthday coming up next month, maybe she'll send me a card?! Now, wouldn't that be most excellent? Of course, if she doesn't, Mother's Day isn't too far behind.

[Dano069]

Well, still no contact from mom. Another birthday has passed, number 42 on the big tote board. This one was a little harder to take since I know she knows about me. Oh well, guess I'm going to have to get "up close and personal" to make any contact. This ought to be exciting!

[Dano069]

In my final attempt to get medical info from my B-mom, I mailed her a letter and a medical questionnaire, which I cut and pasted from the Illinois Adoption Registry forms. I also included a self-addressed, stamped envelope to make it easier for her to return the questionnaire to me. I've got my fingers crossed that she'll answer this one. If not, I'm going to pay her a visit. I need that medical info for myself and my kids. I've given her enough opportunities to provide the info without having to meet me. I'm running out of patience.

[mapper_32611]

Hi Dano,

The other day I was wondering how you were getting along. Sorry to hear she is still ignoring you. I am surprised the CI didn't get the medical information form filled out initially. Did you send the letter certified return receipt? MAybe she isn't getting her mail?

I can't imagine the level of frustration, but think through your actions. In today's world, you don't want to end up classified as a stalker or get served with a restraining order. If you go knock on the door perhaps carrying some flowers might help.

We had our CI appointed and signed our contracts 1 week ago. We'll see how far we get too.

Hang in there!

Best wishes
Joe and Marcia

[minda]

Dano,
Just want to say I admire your courage!!!! I think it is awesome that you are seeking this out. My mothers parents separated when she was 5, and she always talked about finding her dad but never did look for him. I took it upon myself to find him, and actually got as far as finding his brother. His brother said that he had passed away six months before I called. I told my mother this who was heartbroken and has to live with wondering what he might have said.....

I think it is just so cool that you are actually planning a visit to her. Good luck to you and keep us posted. Your case is just so interesting.....I hope it turns out the way you hope.

Minda