[Dano069]

Hi mapper:

The CI got the forms through. B-mom refused to fill them out. All she would say is that she had heart problems. Gee, that narrows it down now doesn't it?

Good luck with your search. I hope your CI has better luck than mine did. Oh, BTW, I still contact my CI from time to time, just to let her know how things are progressing.

HI minda:

My brother had that happen to him. By the time we were told we were adopted, his mom had been deceased 3 years. Had we been told when my a-mom died, 11 years earlier, who know what might have transpired? Maybe my b-mom would have been more receptive to meeting with me. All I can do is press onward. Thanks for your thoughts.

[Dano069]

BIG NEWS

My birth mom called me! I can't believe it! I actually talked to her and SHE WANTS TO MEET ME! I'm trying to keep my joy and excitement in check. I understand that she could change her mind, but, it's still exciting!

[Dano069]

I'm just blown away with excitement. I'm trying to keep my emotions in check. I've read too many stories, on the adoption forums about first contact, then nothing.

While I was driving home, my wife called to say someone called again. She said it sounded like a man and they asked for me. She told them I wasn't home and asked if they would like to leave a message. They said no, and hung up. Now, I was worried. Did her husband open her mail and think I was a lover or something? Anyway, those thoughts were going through my mind most of the night. I felt I could call back now since they talked with my wife. I finally worked up the courage to call around 9:30.

I dialed and then sat back and waited. The phone rang 4 times before someone picked it up (isn't that weird that I would keep track of that?) Anyway, I was going on the assumption that it was her husband that called. She answered the phone. I asked for her husband. She said he was sleeping. I hemmed and hawed a bit, then said that he called and I was returning his call. I did this a couple of times before she said that no, it was her that called (first or second time?) My wife said I did a very good job of keeping my excitement in check. She kept telling me that this was (insert mom's first and last name here) and she emphasized it the third time. That's when she told me it was her that called. There was some awkward silence followed by my explanation that all I wanted was medical info. I repeated that a couple of times before she shocked me and said, "No, I would like to meet you. I just don't know when."

I was ecstatic! I told her that would be nice and then let her know that it was her call on when and where we would meet. I explained to her that I understand her hesitance and that I will let her make the call. ****, I'm really trying to keep my emotions and excitement in check. I want her to call ASAP but I know it'll take time to work towards that. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

[numbr1dbcksfan]

I am so excited for you ! I have goosebumps!!! I havent posted but had subscribed to this thread!! How totally great for you!!!!

[Dano069]

My wife called to let me know there's a letter waiting for me at home from my b-mom. It's in the return address envelope I sent her. I'm assuming it's the medical info but I'm hoping for a little more. I'll take what I can get. Oh, and she put her return address on the envelope below mine.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

WOW!!! I am so happy for you!!! I hope you get more than expected!!!

Christine

[maryjanek]

Dano069--I sure hope your patience is finally rewarded!

[Dano069]

The letter was the medical questionairre I sent to her. She also included my father's name, Bob Jones, in answer to my question about my middle name. That was it, but, it's a start.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Well I am happy for you that you at least got that! I hope you hear from her again in the future.

Christine

[Dano069]

Well, I believe I've reached the end of the line. I've got the medical info I requested, I've talked with b-mom and I know my b-father's name. I'm not happy, but right now I'm emotionally, physically and spiritually spent. I'm not going to push things farther than they've already gone. I wish my b-mom the best. I'll send her cards on her birthday and at Christmas, but, I'm stopping at that. It's her choice if she wants to meet or not.

I'm done.


I wanted to thank all of you that have replied and sent well wishes. I sincerely hope you all find what you're looking for and it's a positive experience for you. Good luck to you all!


Dan

[colefamilySEMO]

so glad for you!!! If she chooses not to meet you then at least ask for a picture of her. Good Luck with all

[Dano069]

I sent my birth mom a Christmas card today. I included the annual family update letter and one of my new business cards. I also sent a short note to let her know I was thinking about her. I also apologized for sending the letter and left her an out if she doesn't want to hear from me again. I gave her my work hours and told her to leave a voice mail message after hours is she doesn't want to hear from me again. After all, she fulfilled her end of the bargain. I need some finality to this. I'm expecting to get it soon. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that voice mail message will be waiting for me sometime next week.

[maryjanek]

I'm sorry she's kept you hanging for so long. I'd like to think she would have more to offer you, but maybe there are good reasons why she can't. It's so hard not knowing, but I think you've done a good job of giving her options and giving yourself a deadline.

I wish you all the best.

Mary Jane

[Dano069]

Well, as usual, I was wrong. There was no voice mail message telling me she does NOT want contact. I guess I can continue this agony of when will she agree to meet me. I'm not gonna complain though, I'm very happy there wasn't a message on my voice mail. Yay me!

[Dano069]

Still haven't heard back from birth mom. I'm not gonna send a Mother's Day card, she's not living up to the name. Anyway, Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there.