[jkseger]

Hello,

My (adopted) name is John K Seger. My adopted parents were John Stanley and Melanie Jean Seger. They resided at 3608 Kingfisher Lane in Rolling Meadows, IL. From what I have been able to gather together, they had tried having kids but were unable to. They hired an attorney (private adoption), who helped them find a young woman who was pregnant. I have heard that she and my birth father were in college at the time with my birth father possibly studying to be an attorney. I have also been told that they were married 3 or 4 years later but, I do not know if that is true or still the case.

I was born January 16 in Winfield, IL. The only hospital I was able find there currently is Central DuPage but I did find a newspaper clipping of my birth announcement under the heading Memorial DuPage. The date of my birth certificate is January 19, 1970. I would assume this would also be my adoption date. This is really about all I have, as I have been told that my adopted mother destroyed the adoption documents because she never wanted me to know.

Almost my entire adopted family has known and has kept this secret for over 36 years out of respect for my mother, even though it was against my father's wishes. After she passed last month, they came out to tell me that I was adopted and that my father wanted me to know. All the information they knew I have provided above. I only now wish I had the adoption documents as a starting place.

I am a 36 year old healthy adult who is having a great life. I am a tall, slender, Caucasian, with medium-brown hair and blue-green eyes. I think it would be great to meet my birth parents, with the understanding that whatever happens happens. I will carry no expectations or hold any grudges either way.

I am only sorry that I did not know sooner.

The future looks bright.

Thanks in advance,

John
See adoption.com registry for more details.

[tori112853]

One of your first steps would be to contact the Illinois Adoption Registry and register with them if you have not would suggest you do so. Someone may already be looking for you. Also they can provide you with non-identifying information from your original birth certificate. However given your date of birth the information is going to be minimal - ages of birth parents at the time of your birth and they will confirm your date and place of birth for you. Another piece of information for you is that adoptions seldom took place on the date of your birth. In the 70's it generally took minimum of 6 months for an adoption to be finalized. For information on the state run registry go to the Illinois Department of Public Health website (www.idph.state.il.us ) and they have an icon for the registry on their home page. Good Luck

[jkseger]

Thanks Tori.

I have sent the the registry information to the state and also to ISRR already. I am awaiting the returned information from each.

If the information returned isn't very useful, I thought about going the route of getting a confidential intermediary. My thought is once someone has the original documents, it would be much easier finding my birth parents.

John

[tori112853]

You are welcome John, just an FYI for you and others - the IARMIE program is short staffed at this time and their turn around time on applications is about 15 to 20 work days from the date they get it in. But honestly that is still alot faster than some of the other agencies. Good Luck with you search.

[jkseger]

Hi all,


I just thought I'd provide an update since you were all so nice and helpful.

There was no match for me at the IARMIE so I am going to try and get a CI.

My hearing is this Monday (4/24). FYI, it's much quicker to turn in your petiton in person because you can schedule your hearing date that day, instead of waiting 2-3 weeks.

Wish me luck!!

Have a great weekend!!

John

PS - My guess is you already know about adaoption.com or you wouldn't be here.

Here are some additional links to websites that you might find helpful. I sure did!!

The IARMIE website - Register right now if you have not already!! You cannot petition for a CI without registering first. You'll find the forms link in the middle of the page. If you have any questions, just call the office. And though they are vey busy, they are extremely nice and helpful.
http://www.idph.state.il.us/vital/adoptbroch.htm

The Confidential Intermediary Service website for information on petitioning for a Confidential Intermediary (CI). Don't use their forms though. See the link below. http://www.ci-illinois.org/

The link to the Cook County Court adoption forms webpage is where you'll find the forms needed to file a petition for a CI along with instructions on how to fill out the form and the legal document describing the Illinois Law about the CI program. They're under the Access to Adoption Records at the bottom of the page.
http://www.cookcountycourt.org/divis...adoptions.html

The link to the Clerk of the Circuit Court of Cook County. This is where you'll need to drop off your petition (Daley Center - Room 1202). If you want to schedule your hearing the same day, they will send you to Room 1701, which is the Judge's office. The office is open 8:30-4 M-F except for the court holidays listed on this site. Use this site only for address and phone number information. This is the only place where you can bring or mail your petition in Cook County. One word of advice, when you go there, be patient!!
http://198.173.15.31/newsite/?sectio...ge&DDPage=3900

[MKW]

The very best to you. I'm so glad you've gone the CI route - and I hope you are able to get the answers you want.

[jkseger]

Hi all,

The hearing went as expected; no sweat, though I was a bit nervous!! A CI was appointed so now it's just waiting to hear from her.

Thanks again to all,

John

[MKW]

Very good - hopefully the CI will be a good one and will help you along.

[sommer]

Sounds like you're on the right track - best of luck - keep us posted on your progress! How exciting!!

[bethross]

hello I am helping my husband find his birthparents. He was born in Chicago 10-28-1969. The information you posted was very helpful. Now if I could just get my husband to fill out the forms. He is a little nervous about looking since his adoptive parents are alive and not very cooperative. I know that reunitng can be wonderful!!!! My birthdaughter found me on this site and we reunited in 2004. Everything is going great, we will be celebrating Mothers day together and her 20th birthday!! Thank you again for posting info about finding someone in Chicago, and good luck to you, I am hoping we have another reunion in our family soon!!!

[jkseger]

Hi all,

Sorry for not writing in awhile. My wife's father passed away of cancer last month, 1 day after his 48th birthday. It came out of nowhere and took everyone by surprise. Needless to say, my search needed to take a back-seat for a while. We are managing under the circumstances.

I did get to speak with my CI yesterday. She has most all of my records and is ready to send out the written assesment. She's just waiting for one more court document to come. Oh the perils of doing things legally. But, at least I know the information is correct. She also said that she thought there was real good data to use in the search. I find it way odd that I just spoke to someone who knows everything. Ugh. Very wierd.

I have put together a letter to give my birth mom when the time comes for the CI to persue. I was wondering if anyone out there, especially a birth-mother that was found, would mind reading it and providing their thoughts. I realize that I may only have one shot at it and I want to make sure that I put my birth mother at as much ease as possible. So, if any of you would like to read it, please let me know and I'll send it to you. Obviously, I have no idea what she (or he) will think after all these years. So I want to be as least confrontational as possible.

I'll keep everyone posted. Thanks to all of you for all your help and support.

John

[MKW]

I am so very sorry about your father-in-law - what a shock for all of you.

It sounds like your CI has really made some great progress and is ready to move forward. I understand exactly what you mean about someone else sitting there with all your information, and knowing everything about you, information you have a right to know, and yet, it's just not available to you. I really had a hard time with that too.

Hang in there - eventually you will know your heart's desire.

MKW

[jkseger]

Hello everyone,

I hope everyone is doing okay. We are hanging in there.

I spoke with my CI yesterday. Unfortunately, there wasn't much of an update. She is still waiting for DuPage County to confirm that there are not any "denial of search" letters from my birth mother. It's been over three weeks, you would think they would have figured it out by now. Supposedly there was a flood back in 1971-1972 that may have destroyed some records. But still, all my CI needs is a letter saying that a good faith effort to find the letter was made. I mean come on already. I even told my CI that I would go there to prod them myself if necessary.

Ok. I have to mention now that of course I wrote the above in jest. Though I am very anxious to start searching!! So come on already Dupage County, get with the program and send that letter!! Please!!

Anyway, I guess I'll wait a couple more weeks for my "contract to search" to arrive in the mail. I have my check ready so the turnaround time will be close to zero.

If there was a cross-armed, toe-tapping smiley (as in waiting), I would insert it here.

Thanks for listening (reading),

John

[jkseger]

Hi all,

I hope everyone is doing okay.

I finally received my letter stating that the search analysis by my CI was complete and that the next step was to send in the authorization (and money of course) to actually do the search. It looks like there was much more data for my birth mother than father so that's who I have chosen.

I sent off the signed authorization w/payment this morning so now I guess I will wait to hear from the CI again. I am not really sure what happens next, whether I'll get contacted by my CI about how to proceed or whether she'll just attempt to make contact and then contact me about what happened.

Either way, the next couple of weeks should be very interesting.

Thank you all for your support.

John

PS. Tomorrow it will be the four month anniversary of the day I found out. Moving right along...

[MKW]

Hurray!!! I'm so glad there finally is enough to do the search and that the CI has covered all the bases they need to. Now the real waiting begins. I so hope they are able to move quickly - even though it will never be fast enough for you.

Hang in there - and keep us posted. I'm really curious to see what they are able to share with you.

MKW