[Elsa Marie]

how would anyone know that they were adopted? My stepson will be joining the service and he doesn't know that he is adopted. His adoptive parents have their own reasons for not telling him and, even though I have made my own feelings known to my darling husband, I do not feel that it is my place to tell their son the truth. He is an inter-family adoption so his original birth certificate has his original first and last names (those were never changed). He was adopted at least 6-12 months after his birth (my husband doesn't remember his exact age because he has always lived with them).

From what I have read it is very difficult for a person to see their original birth certificate so how would any other agency be able to find out if someone has been adopted? If my stepson applied for a passport, he would present his adoptive birth certificate, so how would the passport office know if he was adopted? He wants to go into a particular branch of the service which might require a security check, so how would they know that he is adopted if he doesn't know?

[paigeturner]

None of the situations you've listed will reveal the truth to your step son. Tell your husband to rest easy. He can continue the lies indefinitely.

[RavenSong]

If your stepson undergoes a security clearance, they might very well find out that he is adopted if they run his birth certificate's registration number in the state's birth database. A lot of states, including my own state of California, use the same registration number for the amended birth certificate that was issued for the original birth certificate. If he was born in a state that uses the same registration numbers for both birth certificates, the database will show he was issued 2 BCs.

[BrandyHagz]

My state, Texas, had some stupid format for their BC's that made it impossible for an adopted person to clear Homeland Security and get a Passport. When you apply, they send you a letter saying, "You're Birth Certificate has been Amended and requires the additional information". Then you have to call the State of Texas and speak to their "Adoptions Unit" and get it fixed.

How said that you're husband can't see that he's doing more harm than good.

He'll find out - if not before they die, most certainly after they die...these kinds of things have a way of making their self known. As an adopted adult, I feel sad that he's been lied to all his life by the one set of people he's supposed to be able to trust...

[Elsa Marie]

Is Oklahoma like Texas? Would his adoption birth certificate have the same number as his original birth certificate?

[Elsa Marie]

I agree Brandy. It was my argument to my husband. That he should be told by the ones who love him. The problem is that they are afraid of what his reaction to the news will be. I believe that they would rather deal with it when and if it happens in their lifetime.

[paigeturner]

Elsa,

You're sort of in a tough position aren't you. I don't envy you or your husband, but as time goes on it's just gonna get worse. Good luck to you and your family.

[rcwilcox]

Depending on the level of security clearance, you may be required to provide a case number if you are adopted. I knew I was adopted and provided the number. Not sure if I had not checked the 'adopted' box (if I had not known) if the application would have bounced back for BC ammended reasons.