[Liz79]

[font="Comic Sans MS"][size="4"][color="Purple"]28 years ago I was given up for adoption. I knew since I can remember that I was adopted, and have a wonderful family. I have two older sisters who are biologically my parents. One loves me for me, but the other sister, has always hated me, and thought I was spoiled, and loved more, because I was adopted. We get along for Mum and Dads sake, but thats about it.
I am my Dads baby girl, which is making it very difficult, now that I am begining to have a relationship with my biological father. I tell ya, there are alot of feelings flying around. Half the time i don't know what I am feeling. So guilty cause I am daddys little girl, so why this need to search. How can I feel this love for some strange man that I hardly know, but looks and acts so much like me it isn't even funny! And how can I have two Dads and not hurt either of them? What if they hurt me?
I met my bmother when I was 18, and had a relationship, for a few years that was pretty good. I had a little boy when I was 20 and she was there and her parents. They were at his 1st and 2nd birthday, and then, they had a baby. Her husband would not let any of the family talk to me anymore.
Now my son wonders who these strange people are in his baby pictures. Plus he is going to go to school with my sister, and I have to make sure they don't date, and if they become friends that she don't find out through us.
I'm scared to death that this will happen again with my kids. I have another son and a daughter now, and My father and I's relationship is starting to get to the point that we are discussing meeting families etc. We've been getting to know each other first as not to hurt others.
Also My Biological grandfather has alzheimers, and I'm a nurse. I supervise an alzheimers unit, and he is going to be coming there! They know about me, but my dad didn't tell them that I work there yet.
I feel like this big dirty secret or something. His kids don't know about me yet. He said he's going to tell them soon. My son also has an unkle a year older then him, that they will go to high school together, and next year play sports together. My poor son knows everything, he must have a lot on his mind. He says he feels half adopted too.
I never really looked alot like my mothers side, and my personality did not match, as I do not with my family either. Super the odd ball! So I never had that, until 2 weeks ago when my Dad showed me some pictures. I just about dropped dead! I now know were my kids and Mine looks come from. One of my brothers could be my twin! The other looks just like my youngest son. It freaked me right out.
I want them to know I exist so bad, but I don't at the same time incase they don't want anything to do with me! I want to meet them so bad I could cry, well I have cried.
I'm to shy to share these feelings with my dad. Not to shy to scared of rejection again!
Well better go Let me know any thoughts. I'm dying to have some perspective!

[Jackiejdajda]

I met my bmother when I was 18, and had a relationship, for a few years that was pretty good. I had a little boy when I was 20 and she was there and her parents. They were at his 1st and 2nd birthday, and then, they had a baby. Her husband would not let any of the family talk to me anymore.

I think its wrong that your birthmoms husband cut you off.. Why would he do that?

It must feel terrible..

My dad was in a nursing home for years and my cousin worked in the Alzheimer's section.. funny how these things happen..

Jackie

[Liz79]

My mother had dated him in high school, and left him for my father. Then 2 months before we met they got married. So He never liked me.
I guess she went in to depression or something after having the baby. He blamed it on me. It was really too bad, and no one told me anything they just stopped talking to me. I would have understood. Some answer would be nice, not just word of mouth. I care for her deep inside though, and I don't think I could ever hate her, I still think of her alot.
I often thought of writing her a nice letter, just saying that I understand, and I guess life just wasn't ment for us to be together, but that I would always be there, but I don't want to stur things up for her. I guess you never really know what is the right thing to do.

[susieloo]

Your post made me feel really sad. What a mind blowing situatuion to be.
I am a bmum...reunin 11yrs now. My daughter was born in 1979 and I met her when she was 18, so a couple of parallels there!!! There have been a few ups and downs along the way, but all in all a "Successful" reunion.
One thing I have really realized since reading these forums is how totally different we all are so I am reluctant to give any advice, but can just say how I would fee; as a bmum.
Her husband is so obviously motivated by jealousy...and all I can say to that is how mean of him!! If u could get a letter or email to your bmum without him knowing.....! Even though this kinda endorses that whole secret thing, but if it is the only way. As a bmum I would love a letter like that.
Also Liz...u can love two dads...we can love more than one child...so why not spread that love to two dads!
Knowing the right thing to do is always a hard ask...how can we know till we try!! I find myself in the same boat sometimes in my relationship with my daughter, should I? Shouldn't I? Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
You take care, you sound like a lovely young woman that any parent should be proud of.
Take care
susie