[diamondlady642]

Hi. My name is Kim and I'm new to this board and the world of adoption. I'm almost 39 years old.
This past weekend my father slipped up and told my husband that I was adopted and that I didn't know and that my husband shouldn't tell me. Of course my husband did, but I am now in the situation that I cannot tell my parents yet that I know. My husband is trying to get them to tell me so we can get this out all in the open and get some questions answered.
I began thinking about my being adopted years ago when I found out that I wasn't born in the town I thought I was. I had always been told I was born in Bakersfield. When I wanted to drive down to Kern county courthouse and get a certified copy of my birth certificate and my mom stopped me by saying that it was not there but in Ventura county. When I asked why she just said it's a long story we'll talk about it later. It was never mentioned again.
Several years later my father and I were driving and I mentioned something about not knowing why I was born in Ventura county when I always thought it was Kern county. My father said I don't know why you assumed you were born in Bakersfield...and again the subject was dropped.
While I feel relived to know the truth, or at least part of it, I'm frustrated and confused. I've looked at my birth certificate (a photo copy, still have never seen a certified copy) and it says that it was amended. I keep waiting to wake up from this dream, but ...I don't understand why my folks just couldn't tell me. I have no problem being adopted, but I don't like being lied to for this long. When my husband asked my dad why I wasn't ever told my dad just said "we kept loooking for the right time and when we were about to tell her something else big would get in the way."
I want to start a search but don't even have any idea where to start. All I have is a photo copy of an ameded birth certificate. Until my parents are willing to bring it up I don't feel right going to them with what I know.
What do I do now....?
Kim

[Dickons]

Hi Kim,

Take some time to let it sink in...allow the questions to come and then decide what you want to do about them.

If you already know you want to search you can start by searching registries on the web (this site for example) and can enter your info too. If you do not get any matches, remove the day you were born and try again.

This site has valuable info on how to search and the avenues open to you in your search.

Take care,
Dickons

[Jackiejdajda]

This past weekend my father slipped up and told my husband that I was adopted and that I didn't know and that my husband shouldn't tell me.

In the bad old days some adoptive parents were told that they should just lie and not tell about the adoption.. I was told to never speak about my bson.. born in 1965.
Family intimacy gone.. Family trust gone..
I read a book called ‘Wake Up Little Susie’ written by Rickie Solinger and she documents a lot of the toxic things done to people in those closed era days.. I had forgotten how uncaring the so called professionals were on terms of the human condition when giving a baby up or adopting a baby..

Of course my husband did, but I am now in the situation that I cannot tell my parents yet that I know. My husband is trying to get them to tell me so we can get this out all in the open and get some questions answered.

You are a late discovery adoptee.. that is something to examine.. Late Discovery - Home
Ron Morgan is a good man and can help..

I want to start a search but don't even have any idea where to start. All I have is a photo copy of an ameded birth certificate. Until my parents are willing to bring it up I don't feel right going to them with what I know.
What do I do now....?

Lots of emotions ahead.. Lots of learning to do..
Ask for help.. get some folks who have walked the walk and find out how they did it..


Jackie