[ripples]

Article from the Sydney Morning Herald written by Adele Horin, July 23, 2007.

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ADOPTED children raised in secrecy about their origins tend to feel less close to their adoptive parents as adults, and are likely to see them as controlling and uncaring, new research shows.

The study is based on a sample of 144 adoptees now aged from 18 to 66, and provides further support for the openness in adoption pursued by state governments since the 1990s. Adoptees are given access to birth records when they turn 18 and adoptive parents are encouraged to tell children the truth about their origins.

Conducted by Nola Passmore, at the University of Southern Queensland, and Alexis Foulstone and Judith Feeney, at the University of Queensland, the study shows the benefits of telling children when they are young about being adopted.
"Adoptees who found out later in life that they were adopted were especially likely to experience a loss of trust or sense of betrayal," the authors said in a paper published in the latest Family Relationships Quarterly.

The study shows adopted children raised in an open atmosphere tend to feel close to their adoptive parents when they are adults. Their parents' openness also provided a good model for their relationships with other people.

Being told early in life about the adoption meant it was not an issue. As children they had always felt they belonged and there was no sense of confusion later, the authors found.

A 30-year-old man who had experienced teasing over his adoption as a child said his parents had helped him form a strategy to deal with the issue. He did not believe adoption itself was problematic: "I think the way it's explained and managed and described is what has impact on people."

Secretive parents made it hard for their adopted children to find out more about their backgrounds, the authors said.

When one woman was 40, her adoptive mother revealed she had always known the birth mother's name and address but had gone to great lengths to keep the information secret.

The authors said adoptees who experienced secrecy and lies in their adoptive families could need counselling to deal with issues of trust and betrayal, and to rebuild family ties. Dr Passmore said some adoptive parents did not realise how important it was for adopted children to know about their background.
Adoption secret a betrayal - National - smh.com.au

Here's the actual report about the study from the Australian Institute of Family Studies - the report is published in their Family Relationships Quarterly newsletter number 5, 2007:
Family Relationships Quarterly, Newsletter of the Australian Family Relationships Clearinghouse

[Jan18]

Very interesting. Thanks for sharing.

[Supershadow18]

I could never imagine keeping such a secret from someone. While I have suspicion that there are things my parents haven't told me out of their own insecurity, I'm glad they were truthful in the fact that I was adopted.

Of course there are always exceptions. I admit that when my parents told me it actually distanced us a little, but it was really just unpredictable bad timing on their part. I still remember it quite vividly. Prior to telling me my parents had told me the evils of germs and I started to become a germophobe(Which I still kind of am). They had told me that their germs were ok because we were family, but with the knowledge of my adoption it brought about a whole new revelation. I was under the impression that sharing drinks, kissing my parents, and other things were ok because we were of the same blood, but now I'm being told that we really aren't.

It didn't change our relationship drastically, nor make me really feel anything negative for them. I still love them, always call them mom or dad(Only call them by their first name when calling their work for them).

I don't know what I would do if I just barely found out I was adopted, although I probably would have figured it out on my own and just never mentioned anything. Knowing myself, however, I would probably never trust my parents again and probably stop talking to them for a very long time.

[NYLM]

shall come to light.

That's pretty much how I found out. I was around 14 and was routing around in a semi-dark clothes closet and while digging through my mom (really my aunt's) purse a birth cert fell out. I got curious and dug further to find a well worn piece of paper with a huge red wax seal and "Adoption Order" typed in bold black ink.

To this day my aunt and her husband haven't acknowledged it in the least. That was then but thank God this is now !