[lupa]

In my opinion every adoptee should have the legal right to revoke the adoption.

[wannabamom]

Hi,
I'd like to know how this would help the adoptees. Couldn't you just stay away from the AParents, etc.....???/

[Foundoutat50]

Hi:
The same could be said by people who grew up within their biological families. They can't 'revoke' the relationships, only change the contact.
Sometimes age is a factor - lots of teens would gladly exchange their parents, bio or adopted!

[Scarlet Moon 13]

Originally Posted by lupa

In my opinion every adoptee should have the legal right to revoke the adoption.

When I was 8 my stepdad adopted me.

When I was 12 my mother and he divorced.

I was stuck with a name I did not consider mine. Legally bound to a man I did not consider my father.

My mother changed her name to her maiden name.

I was stuck with her second husbands name until I married, at 17. Not long you say? But every document asks for your Legal, maiden name. That can be a lifetime of being that person. Or they ask for your parents names. The law does not care if you don't talk to them, or have cut yourself off from them. The law doesn't care.

My step/adad was a nice enough man, aside from the fact he tried to molest me.

I rarely if ever saw him after the divorce.

When I was 35, I asked my bio dad, who had been married to my mom when I was born, if he would consider adopting me back. Our "reunion" of sorts, started when I was 19. I was married with two children by then.

He said yes, he hadn't realized it was important to me.

So at 35 years of age, in a closed adoption, I was adopted by my father, my maiden name is my legal maiden name again. Not just MY name in my mind and soul.

I may never use it. Other then changing it on my birth certificate, passport and any other documents that I may have to fill out.

But it was who I was, and who I am under the layers of adulthood & marriage. That little girl who was told her real dad didn't want her, he had a new family. Lies told to steal my soul.

Revoking or voiding an adoption should be an option for adult adoptee's. Those who need to forever legally cancel the relationship with the adoptive parents. This can be a life long emotional need. A cleansing of the mind and soul. A deep seated need that needs to severed. It really doesn't happen very often, no need for adoptive parents to panic or be fearful.

It isn't the same as bio relatives, who, no matter how often you speak to them or see them, are always related to you. The are always going to have the same DNA. The same walk, voice, likes and dislikes and look like you. Even if you hate their guts.

In adoptive family's, if they are good, you will have, love, relationship, commitment, family. You don't need biology to love or be loved. Like in marriage.

If the love is bad, or the relationship is bad, then there is no reason to stay. You have no status past your personal relationship or lack of it. No historical past, other then your adoption and no biological connection. Why not be allowed to change it. Sorry if that sounds cold just stating facts.

So, if birth parents can be TPR' d, then why not adoptive parents? Then the adoptee can either ask for their birth name back, or take a new name to suit themselves.

Why not? If it helps the person, gives them back some control over their lives, why not?

[Scarlet Moon 13]

Originally Posted by Foundoutat50

Hi:
The same could be said by people who grew up within their biological families. They can't 'revoke' the relationships, only change the contact.
Sometimes age is a factor - lots of teens would gladly exchange their parents, bio or adopted!

Unless there is abuse, minors should not have this option.

If there is abuse, then like any other family, the state should TPR the parental rights of the adoptive family.

[bumblebeeskies]

If we revoke our adoptions, do you think our aparents will want a refund? Given how territorial some of them are...

[lupa]

It is not right to compare biologicalchildren with adopted children. There are differences. An adoptee lives with the fact that he/she has biological parents.
Being adopted means, for example, that the adoptee ¨loses¨ his/hers original name, and ¨gains¨ the name of the A. parent/s.
This will have its effect not only for the adoptee but also for his/hers descendants.
Because of the impact of the decision the adoptee should have the right to confirm or revoke its adoption.

[LibbyHawkins]

You can always legally change your name if it is the name that is important. I would be hesitant to say all adoptees should have the "right" to revoke an adoption. There are many bad things that happen to children, biological or adopted, you can't really revoke the relationship you had either way, good, bad or ugly.

[lupa]

Legally changing a name is what happens if you revoke the adoption.

[TxMom65]

Emancipation? That would go for bio as well as adopted.

[lupa]

If it needs a judge to be adopted there ís a difference. Biological children don`t have this background.
Emancipate is exactly what the adoptees need to do.

[txrnr]

I also don't see this as an adoption issue. If you aren't happy with your family, don't see them! Biological families do it all the time. True, adoptees didn't have a choice in who their family was, but neither did biological kids. We all play the cards we're dealt with. This sounds more like a revenge thing... a way to slap adoptive parents in the face instead of just dealing with issues.
Adoptees may have biological parents but they were given up for whatever reason. While true that many biological parents want reunion, it doesn't change for adoptees in a great adopted family, they're able to share the love of two families. I don't see the point. You can't wipe out who raised you anymore that who you were born to.

[lonni]

I guess you are saying that since it is a man made legal manuever~then it can be undone by the "victim" if they go to an attorney? (If they feel they are the victim of the wrong choice)
Yep-I agree. Sometimes adoption is the wrong choice(or the aps selected are wrong) and only the adopted person can decide that, I agree.