[ian grove]

Finding out that i was adopted was a shock, but it was also conformation of what i had susspected for many years, me and my adoptive family were as different as chalk and cheese in personallity, and personal out look on life in general. They would all flap like a bunch of buddgies at the smallest problem, and every family project ended up in an argement, as each thought that they knew better than the other.

But i was the quite one, who kept his head and sorted things out first, and then stressed out about them later. I often thought to my self that i was adopted, but just dissmissed it as being silly, and having a pity party.
But i had allways halve susspected that there was something that wasn't quite right between me and them, some thing that did not fit in to the right place.

Well i suppose i should tell you guys the whole story,
I was born in 1965, in St Francis hospital, Lynwood, Los Angeles.
I was adopted as a new born baby by an english couple, and my adoptive mum was a foster mother for new born babies straight out of the hospital.

She would look after them untill they could find homes for them, but i had a hole in my heart, and alot of problems with my ears and eyes, along with exma. The social services were having problems with finding me a family, so she decided to adopt me her - self as no one else would take me on.

Me and my older adoptive sister never really got along, as she was 7 years older than me and the first child born, and must have been jealous of me because she was no longer the center of attention. One evening when i was 4 mum was holding me in her arms and answering the phone, when we heard that my sister had been hit by a car and broken her leg taking dad some medicine at work.

Well mum and me were both crying when we heard what had happened, and a little while later my sister came home and as she walked in the door, i ran up to her to give her a hug because i was happy to see that she was ok. Well she hit me with the back of her hand as hard as she could knocking me flying on to the floor saying " I thought he was going to hit my leg "!. She took evey oppertunity to make my life a living hell.

When i was 8 years old my family decided to return to the uk, we spent a year around london with other family members, and then we moved to Cornwall in 75.

When i was 29 I decided to leave the family home for a life of my own, my adoptive mum & dad thought that i should have stayed at home until they were dead.

Well earlier that week i had a arguement with my mum & dad as they wereopening my private mail and reading it with out my permission, so a few days later i was walking out of the front door with the last of my things my mum turned to me and said " If you are leaving you might as well know that you were adopted" and that is how i found out about my adoption. By this time the other 2 daughters had already left home and had families of thier own.

Afew years later i had moved to Manchester, and i wrote them a letter trying to make up with them, but they sent a letter back saying that they wanted nothing more to do with me and never to contact them again. And they refused to give me my adoption papers & birth cert

It wasn't untill june 06 that i got my adoption papers and i started to look fot my bio family with the help of 2 of my friends, and five months later i found my natural brother. .

So every thing that i have lost has been given back to me seven times over, and just in time to make it the best christmas present ever.

Ian [/b]

[rch4hvn]

I cant believe the way you were treated by your adopted family. I was so very saddened to hear what your sister did to you. Then what ur parents said to you when you were leaving and in the letter...I could never say that to my child. I am a first mom and I can only hope that my birth son would accept me the way you accepted your first family. My birth son is 18 and I have tried to start communication with him and all he says is he dont want anything to do with me....My fear is that when he finally decides to contact me that I will still be living on this earth.

I wish you all the luck in the world with your new life with your old family!!!

[ian grove]

Thank you Michele, I am hoping to meet my bio brother 4 the 1st time by chhristmas this year.

I am sure that your son will come around one day, to find out your side of the story out of curiousity.
Here's wishing you a happy ending Ian.

[rch4hvn]

Ian,
are you ok? Are things going good? Please either reply to this thread or send me a PM. I was thinking about you today and I wanted you to know, that My Bdaughter met her Bbrother last night for the first time and she said that it was nice. You know, she is 21, so she doesnt really expand much on her feelings but she told me that they talked about the FBI, cause my son in law works there, so Bson was facinated and also, computers, because Bson builds and rebuilds them. They also took her husband and my grandson, hes 2. She said it went well and I wanted to share that with you. Please Ian contact me and let me know how things are going on your journey.

[maxi56]

wow that is fantastic. i found my birth mother in 1991 and from there on in thought it was the whole truth and nothing but unfortuneatly it wasn't to be so when my supossed birth father entered the scene, he didn't agreee with my birth mothers decision that he was my father and walked out. i live in australia and my birth family is in canada. i was adopted there and later moved to australia. how hard it is to find out the truth. i have had my birth mother in my life for the last 16 years and still to know the truth. how sad an adoptees life can be. hope to hear from you. x