[lisallyn56]

I am 29 years old. I found out that I was adopted when I was 25. My adopted mother found out something about me and became angry. When she confronted me about the situation she said by the way your adopted!!!!! She threw adoption papers at me, which I threw back. I have no info and my mother is playing the "I dont remember much about your adoption". I am now feeling so lost. My entire family keep the secret from me, they were waiting for my mom to tell me. I have such ill feelings for everyone. I will always appreciate my family. But, the time has come for me to research and i have such anxiety. If anyone experienced anxiety looking for BP, how did you handle it.

[jenk76]

Hi There
Sorry to hear you found out you were adopted in the way that you did...
Ive known since i was young that i was adopted yet it was hard growing up not fitting in anywhere..
My afamily are my life yet on the other side ive just meet my bsiblings and bmother and im now starting a life with them it can be hard trying to have two families but im so blessed that i do..
Its a hard and scary time for everyone but its good to have places like this where you can talk and get things off your chest and not be judged for it...
I wish you all the best...big hugs

[jessie17]

Originally Posted by lisallyn56

I am 29 years old. I found out that I was adopted when I was 25. My adopted mother found out something about me and became angry. When she confronted me about the situation she said by the way your adopted!!!!! She threw adoption papers at me, which I threw back. I have no info and my mother is playing the "I dont remember much about your adoption". I am now feeling so lost. My entire family keep the secret from me, they were waiting for my mom to tell me. I have such ill feelings for everyone. I will always appreciate my family. But, the time has come for me to research and i have such anxiety. If anyone experienced anxiety looking for BP, how did you handle it.

I understand how you feel, I am sorry that you had to find out the way that you did. Always know that you are a child of this earth..there are people that wanted you, your bmom, bdad and aparents. Your mother will probably calm down and discuss this with you, if not, you will move forward, perhaps search for you bparents and heal. You are worthy. I knew that I was adopted since I was 6 years old. I always felt different. Yet I knew that I was loved. I met my bmom when I was 23, it has been a rough road since. Yet I feel that we are stronger than most. You will persevere. We are pulling for you.

[LateDiscovery]

Originally Posted by lisallyn56

I am 29 years old. I found out that I was adopted when I was 25. My adopted mother found out something about me and became angry. When she confronted me about the situation she said by the way your adopted!!!!! She threw adoption papers at me, which I threw back. I have no info and my mother is playing the "I dont remember much about your adoption". I am now feeling so lost. My entire family keep the secret from me, they were waiting for my mom to tell me. I have such ill feelings for everyone. I will always appreciate my family. But, the time has come for me to research and i have such anxiety. If anyone experienced anxiety looking for BP, how did you handle it.

Hi Lisa Lynn,

I found out that I was adopted when I was 36, and everyone else in my extended family knew but me. They assumed once I was an adult that I already knew, and when I asked them about it after I found out they said, "You mean you didn't know?"
As far as searching is concerned, I felt it was a total rollercoaster. I didn't know what to expect so I kept my expectations low, or at arm's length. Even so, when a search angel emailed me my first mother's name it was like a kick to the stomach. I eventually found my family of origin, my first mother had died but I have a large group of siblings. I developed relationships with a couple of them, which has been pretty cool...

Ron Morgan
Late Discovery Adoptee

[melodylubart]

I don't mean to be rude and say anything about your parents, but who in their right mind, announces that you are adopted and throws adoption papers at you.

Your adopted mother obviously has mental problems and if she doesn't, do yourself a big favor and distance yourself as much as possible. This woman is either mentally ill (for which she needs treatment), or she is toxic, hence you should not be around her.

just my opinion.

but no one on this earth should ever be told the way you were.

Melody

[KIWI3]

"I am 29 years old. I found out that I was adopted when I was 25."

As a birthmother (36 years ago!), I'm just now starting my own search. Your situation is one of the things of which I am afraid/concerned. Suppose my daughter was never told about her adoption? Suppose she learned about it through her own research, but never found me. I hadn't registered anywhere until this year. As an adoptee, wouldn't you wonder about my love for her? It was a closed adoption, so I really didn't think there was a chance.

I don't want to hurt her in any way.

[Velisa]

I feel for you and the way your mother told you that you are adopted. In a way, I can see that your mother is full of anger, but you do not have to play her game. Try to figure out what makes her that way... maybe it is old issues that she has to deal with, life is like this.
However, i always think that things happen for a reason just wait a little to calm down, your mother will calm and, I just thought, maybe she is upset because she fears that you reject her or critize the way she raise you. I do not know the mind is an incredible thing!

Keep going, things will be better.