[greendragonfly1028]

Hi,

A little background...


My husband and I started our dating relationship while I was pregnant. He has been a part of my daughter's life since before she was born. He adopted her when she was 2; he is the only daddy she knows. I am in contact with her biological grandmother. Her father just had another child. I am trying to figure out if I should tell my daughter that her daddy is not her father or not. I found out at 18 the man that I thought was my father was not. It was one of the most devestating things that has ever happened to me. I don't want my daughter to ever feel that kind of hurt or anger. My daughter is now 5 1/2. Please help.

[susieloo]

its time to tell her...no time will be easy, but the younger the easier. Secrets and lies just don't work. You will be fine, and so will she when honesty prevails.
Good luck
susie

[majicka414]

I have to agree, I'd tell her now. I couldn't imagine how devestating it would have been to my life to find out when I was older that I was adopted.

[hrisme]

I agree as well, tell her in a developmentally appropriate way. "X is your daddy, he loves you and took care of you since you were a baby, but Y helped me to make you." This, of course, may lead into a talk on the birds and the bees--but at this age she is likely ready for simple explanations. I wouldn't make a big deal of it, more than likely she won't care for much information--but at least it is out in the open & she knows it is okay to ask questions when she has them.