[darkman]

I would also like to add that I am her only family here. The rest of the Bio-Family live on the otherside of the country. Something like 6000Km's away.

I think that is what has got me most worried. What would they be thinking, she is over here by herself. Would they blame me for it? As i'm 'the outsider' in the family, the one with the least history known about. What on earth can they be thinking and talking about amonst themselves over in Newcastle?

I know logically it is not my fault as it has been coming on for years apparently and it is the reslult of lifestyle choices that she has made in the past. So I should not feel guilty but I still get these thoughts of 'What if I were a more loving son, would the inevatable heart attack have been prolonged until such time that she is back in Newcastle and thus where she is closer to her 'real family'.

Am I being harsh? Or is this natural feeling seeing as I don't have the same history?

[Montraviatommyg]

Darkman, I personally believe how you are feeling is perfectly normal. It's easy to say don't blame yourself but I think I would have similar feelings if I was in your shoes. Hang on in there and keep on posting ... look at the positive side you have been reunited.

Hugs
Pip

[darkman]

I know. I sort of had a fight with my Bio-Sister in law due to family squabbles that I have kept out of. I felt as though they were not my place to comment on.

All I was attempting to say to her was 'If you would like Felicity* to survive then you must all stop the fighting with each other'. Or something like that. I feel Mary* may have taken offence to what I had to say.

I must say that Mary* appears to be the power broker in the family and as I do have the balls to stick up to her, there is a slight animosity there. Although we do get along very well, I think we both just accept each others limits.

Felicity has to have open heart surgery tomorrow or Tuesday and a heart bypass and is understandably quite scared that she wont make it.

I more than likely will stop posting as frequently as I have been, story wise, until the current matter is sorted out.

You will though, in further chapters, hear more about
Mary* and her relationship in the family as I see it. From an 'outsiders' point of view.

[dpen6]

Darkman,

how could we as adoptees have anything to do with anyone having a heart attack......just because we exist??

Naw...putting to much pressure on yourself. Your biomom probably had a heart attach because of poor diet, smoking or the other hundreds of reasons people have heart attacks. your biomom probably would have had the heart attach whether she knew you or not. Hopefully we as adoptees are not that powerful that we can cause heart attacks.!!!

As far as family squabbles...ya...I would stay out of it. They have had years to devolp their own commication style and you really don't know what that was...leave it be..let them fight it out.

Hope biomom is feeling beeter soon...she should feel lucky that you are there to help her

[shiloblwe]

I am so sorry this has happened to you. My husband and I will put her in our prayers. As far as the going into "damange control" I can not say I have an exact experience, but I have had a similar. My parents were out of state when I was watching my brother and he was in a horrible accident (almost died). It tool me until my parents came home to actually relieve myself of the emotiions I had been keeping in. I would have to say though, I would think that in no way is it your fault that she had a heart attack! Do not blame yourself. Just be there for her and the rest of your immiediate and bio-family and things continue to unfold. I wish you all the best and will continue to pray for you and your family.

I'm sure there are others on this forum that have been in similar sittuations that will be better able to relate. Remember, that's what everyone is here for....support, not judgment!

Take Care,

Erica

[darkman]

Originally Posted by shiloblwe

It tool me until my parents came home to actually relieve myself of the emotiions I had been keeping in.
Erica

That is more than likely what I am going through at the moment. Her family (well mine too I suppose) should be here by mid week. But then, there are isues with that.

I'll see how I go then.

[Pinakitha]

Is your bmum ok? You haven't posted anything and I was wondering what had happened.

I am sure that many others who have enjoyed reading your story would like to know. Please do tell us.

Won't say anything more now because it would be inappropriate given the circumstances of your last posting.

Hope all's well. Just let us know please.

[Montraviatommyg]

Just had a "nudge" by the latest post as I have been following your story and would like to know how your bmom is as well.

Hugs
Pip

[darkman]

It seems that the Gods have definitely been smiling on my Bio-mum. It seems that she has happened to her, a one in a million chance event, that has shocked the Doctors and Specialists. So much so that she will be the focus of an end of week coronary department meeting.

What happened that was so rare, I hear you ask. Well apparently after a heart attack a valve in your heart can become 'stuffed' and leaks. This usually requires a by pass operation where the offending valve is, well, by passed.

The operation usually involves cutting you open right down the chest, breaking your sternum with a bone saw and (apparently) stopping your heart for some time. Only to have the heart started again and yourself stitched back up. It is about as major operation you can have besides brain surgery.

Well it appears that the valve has somehow repaired itself in the last few days. The Doctors and Specialists have never seen anything like it and are completely shocked. She is to have more tests tomorrow or Thursday just to double check, but everything seems good so far.

[Montraviatommyg]

That's wonderful news so I hope everything improves now, hugs.

Pip

[aisha101]

Wait did you just say that your with your b-mom? Did I miss something here?

You just had me on the edge of my seat for the last half hour lol. You are quite the story teller and should perhaps consider making a career with your writing skills.

What happened next?????????

[shiloblwe]

Darkman, that's wonderul news! I am so glad to hear that your bmom is doing well. Who knows, maybe this will be help your relationship (although we haven't heard the rest of your story yet, hint hint). I hope all continues to go well with her recovery.

Erica

[darkman]

...I will finish it as soon as I can.

[HollyJeanAdoptee]

Interesting read. I'm an adoptee as well. I relate to meeting a grown sibling. Except in my case I am the older one. My story is a long one, and has a lot of twists and turns along the way. If you are interested I am writing at

http://a1950sadoptee.com

I sincerely hope that you birth mother is going to be ok.

HJ

[darkman]

I know that it has been a little while since I updated this story. Well, two years to be exact.

I was wondering if anyone is still interested in me finishing it? I do have some time free now to engage myself in other projects and this seems right up my ally again.

If you would like me to continue, just let me know.