[kune]

I understand where you are coming from as do the majority of others posting on this thread. Ask your questions sfbaymom - we are all hear to learn and share experiences and knowledge.
Ann

[sfbaymom2000]

Just wanted to say thanks to those who have been supportive and helpful...Loriane, Joevoe, Seven, and Kune. Kune, I do expect M to seek her birth family later, and will fully support her in doing that. I have accumlated all the information I could to help her do so eventually. I truly wish we could some limited contact now. However, the bparents and other birth relatives have been quite violent in the past, and I am not going to put M or any of my family in harm's way. But I really do hope that the birth family resolve a lot of their problems so that M can know them some day. At least will have contact with most of her siblings.

Thanks again !

[lsport8585]

I know it hard to take in a child. I know you have alot of questions. I"m an adoptee, And a bmom. i just feel bad for the adoptees that don't know their roots. It is so hard not to know where you Started are from.Even if it isn't a good family, they need to know so they can go on with their lifes. I know that I was taken away form my family for little to no reason, and that I can't find out much info about my bf. That makes my angery. Sorry I lashed out on you. I was off base.

[sfbaymom2000]

Isport8585,

Thank you for your apology. I am sorry that I responded to you out of anger, as well.

We will definitely give M more information as she gets older. She knows and remembers alot already right now...meaning the abuse and neglect. However, when she is older, I will need to share information about drug abuse, homelessness, additional domestic violence, mental illness, and criminal history. I guess we have a long time to sort out exactly how much detail to provide. Of course I want her to understand "where she came from", but I don't want to go overboard and cause her unnecessary pain by pouring salt on the wounds with overly explicit details.

Anyway, thank you again and good luck to you in your search.