[hnnybnny]

Well it's been quite a while since I mailed my bmom initial contact letter. So i mailed a second letter to her and this time sent it certified. They tried to deliver it 4 days ago and she wasn't home and has never picked it up. So I called the post office and they will attempt to deliver again. The longer this goes on the more bitter I am becoming..I don't like this feeling becuase initially when i decided to search all i was looking for was information about my family and history. Now that I'm getting angry I want all the information...my dad's name (who supposedly never even knew about me) and everything else. UGH i hate waiting

[kperoc]

/hug

I've only sent me letter today, but I feel for you.

/crossing fingers and toes for both of us

[hnnybnny]

I hope your bmom and or bdad are more receptive than mine has been so far. Good luck and I'll keep everything crossed for you too

[l-thompson]

yep, the waiting part drives you around the bend!! My search took 7 years and when contact was finally made the case worker wanted me to snail mail a letter to her which she would then onforward to my birthparents. I guess I was lucky with my caseworker or maybe it was the fact I lived on the other side of the world and posed no threat as such, but after a bit of talking and cajoling with my case worker she agreed to take my email address - my birthmom and I were emailing each other a few hours later!!!

I am really sorry that it is taking so long for your birthmom to respond...its hard to believe she hasn't even picked up certified mail - unbelievable!! I certainly understand how the feelings of anger are starting to rise - although we promise ourselves we are not going to have any expectations once contact is made, I do think we all at least hope to be acknowledged and afforded our medical history and a bit of family history at the very least.
I will cross my fingers for you and hope that this waitng will soon come to an end.

Take Care.

[hnnybnny]

Hi..thanks for the response. I am hoping if they re-deliver it tomorrow (Saturday) maybe she'll be home and have to sign for it..but then who knows if she'll open it. I have her phone number just don't have the courage to call. I wish I had an email address for her. It seems pretty heartless to me for her not to call or write. Thanks again

[l-thompson]

All you can do is wait...and hope. I agree that it is pretty heartless to not even acknowledge your letter to her...something is better than nothing I would think. At least then you would have an idea as to what she is thinking rather than waiting in limbo. You have her phone number and although at this stage you feel you don't have the courage to call, who knows how you will feel in a week or so.
Hang in there!!!

[imtimm2]

Hnny, I found it nerve wracking even waiting for the certified letter to be delivered...Oh I so understand what you are going though.

I also know, nothing I say or write at this point will take away the sting of the rejection you are feeling right now. Just know that you are not alone in your waiting.

Hugs,

[Just Julie]

hnnybnny and kperoc,

What contact info did you gve in your letters? postal address, email address and phone number? I would be on pins and needles watching the mailbox, hovering over the computer, and jumping every time the phone rang. Hope you get positive responses soon.

[hnnybnny]

I am addicted to usps.com I was checking for updates on the delivery almost hourly for a few days there. Well I just checked and it was delivered this morning at 10:13 am. Oh my gosh...now i just have to wonder if she opened it.

imtimm..thanks so much for all your kind words here and in the chats. You are a real sweety...ty and I hope everything works out for you as well )

[kperoc]

In my letter, I started with a framework suggested by a very wise woman, and made it personal.

first paragraph was introduction, my current name, my birth name, date, state etc. Facts as I was told by my aparents about my situation.

second paragraph a little about me currently, not too specific.

third paragraph putting forth the request for contact, including waiting for them to respond one way or another.

At end of letter, address, phone, email

Thank you for your concern. These forums are such a comfort to me, and I have only discovered it a short time ago. I felt so alone in my adult adoptee self with years wondering of whether or not to search. I know now I am not alone.

[kperoc]

Hnnybnny: I am hoping for a positive reaction to your letter.

/hugs

[veronicalake]

I hope you hear something soon....some times even bad news can be better than no news at all.

I understand your frustration...I'm like you. All I want is some family history...I'm not even looking for a relationship from my biological dad.

I'm 24 years old, which is very young to be diagnosed with skin cancer. Genetic, of course. and I know its not from mom's side of the family.

All I need is a few simple answers, what's so hard about that??

....sorry, didn't mean to ramble.

What I mean to say is, I hope you hear something soon. And whatever you learn, I hope it brings you peace.

[hnnybnny]

Hi Veronica, I hope everything works out for you as well. Thanks for your positive thoughts...as you know everyone helps

[hnnybnny]

Just a little update from my last post regarding waiting. yes it still stinks but the day after thanksgiving I did hear from my b-mom. it was a nice letter and a thanksgiving card. I responded by sending her another note thanking her for the info and telling her i'd love to hear from her again...no response yet. I sent her a lovely across the miles Christmas card too with a pic of her grandson (my lovely 6 yr old) and now i sit and wait again. I am actually not as manic as i was last time, but I still hate this feeling. Hope you all have a wonderful Happy and Healthy HOLIDAY Season. Lots of good thoughts coming your way.

[Montraviatommyg]

Hi,

Hope all goes well with your bmum, as she has responded it's a good sign. I'm sure it is frustrating for you but just try and be patient as this isn't easy for her - I know I'm a bmum myself whose been reunited with my bson since Aug 2004. She needs time to adjust with hearing from you and sort out her feelings, and, it will probably be an emotional rollercoaster time for her.

My bson looked for me for 5 years which has included having contact with my family for almost 5 years but they told him they didn't know where I was. I fell out with them in early 1999 and didn't have contact with them until late 2001 but my parents still didn't tell him where I was. They didn't tell me either about him and, although he did trace me to at least a couple of addresses - I moved a few times- he was always too late about sending letters. I found him by accident through a website as I always thought it was up to him to decide whether we had contact. It was diffucult at first as I was pressured into having him adopted but now I'm glad we have contact as we are getting on much better. We are so much alike in looks - my husband says there is no mistaking he's my son - have similar likes/dislikes and have similar temperaments.

Just give your bmum time and who knows what you will get out of contact.

Good luck!
Montraviatommygun