[SkokieEric34]

I'm new here and a little bit nervous, so here goes....I've known for a while that I was adopted and I always assumed that I was okay with it. It just seemed like it was something else that happened and I had to deal with. But now, as I am in intensive therapy, I am starting to explore the whole concept of adoption. I don't know what to feel or expect at all as it feels like my whole world has been turned upside down again. On one hand I am truly grateful that my adopted parents chose me, that they wanted me, but on the other hand I feel like I am being unfaithful in wanting to explore my adoption and get some of the background information. I don't want my adoptive parents to be hurt, but I also want to be honest and up front with them. How can I go about this ??? Any suggestions. Also, how do I survive the flood of emotions that I am experiencing related to the adoption. I would sincerely appreciate any feedback or support that anyone could give. Thanks/

[zacqrich39]

My parents told me at a young age about being, adopted.
Eventualy it sunk at a later. I first didn't really get it, I was such a courious child. I began to snoop until that moment came. I stumbled into a file all about me. My adoption agency papers,decree,and the atterny's names. I approached my adopted parents (basicly) my mom. and I asked her would she be upset if, I were to find my birth parents would she be mad.She told me no. Really I felt bad because, I really love my adopted family. So I decided to do it on my own. Little by little.
It's really hard when you don't have the money. I can tell you to just be honest. Check out your adopted parents feelings first,about your situation. Just act courious about it.See what kind of feed back you get. If you get a good feed back and support thats good. Make sure you let your parents know that this won't stop your love for them or this situation will not come between your relationship with them. Let your adopted mom know ,she is your mom,because she raised you. Your biological Parents are just your father and mother. There is a big difference.
Believe me. A mommie puts the effort in raising you. Make sure you tell it to your parents.

Zacquarie

Good Luck

[snuffie]

Hi
I was told when I was a small child that I was adopted. It became just another part of me. But later on things cropped up in my life that made me question my feelings about being adopted more and more. I guess we try not to think about it because it might seem ungrateful to our adoptive parents. But really it is only natural for someone to want to know who we look like, health issues, personality traits. The list goes on and on.
And I don't think that we should feel guilty about wanting to know our heritage at all. Usually the people who ask us why we search are people who are not adopted and have not idea that
what we search for is what they have taken for granted all of their lives.
It is important to let our adoptive parents know that our searching doesn't have anything to do with them or their parenting skills. And to let them know how much we love them.
I have talked to a lot of adoptees who at first said "no way do I want to find my birth parents" "I have wonderful adoptive parents>" But as time goes on and they really search deep inside of themselves, a lot of the time if they are truly honest with themselves the need has been there all along.
As far as the emotions that have cropped up. They have been there "hiding" all along. They have been deep inside so long that it will take a while to work through them. But it does happen and it actually is good that they are coming out.

I wish you much happiness in your search. Be prepared for anything, work through your emotions as they come up. And know that you are definitely not alone. WE are all here to help!

Hugs
Snuffie

[l-thompson]

Searching for your birthparents(s) is no reflection at all on your parents - there are many adoptees searching who didn't have such a great upbringing but there are also many that did.
I completely understand you not wanting to hurt the parents that raised you but as a mother myself, I would hope I would always support my girls in any quest that would make them happy in this life.

What decade where you born in?? I was a sixties baby - we didn't talk about adoption in my family...my life began the day I entered my parents home..it was like everything else was null and void..I was adopted when I was 9 months. My parents believed if they were good parents I would have no yearning, no desire to search...it was the way they thought it should be.
I had huge issues with loyalty and fear of letting my parents down if I searched. I wanted to for the longest time but always held back feeling I would hurt them......but its not about them at all...its about you and a desire to know your heritage, your very beginnings and your history.

I would test the water with your parents and have a talk with them - you may be pleasantly surprised with their reaction. Maybe they have been waiting for you to talk with them about searching....then again maybe not but you just don't know until you give it a shot. That way you have peace of mind knowing that you have opened up to them about what you are thinking.
I am sure when you start talking you will get vibes from them....go with your instincts.

As far as surviving the flood of emotions that you are experiencing.....you will survive and for me they were so necessary...they needed to be felt and to worked through. I agree with snuffie.....they have been there all the time. Embrace them, even though it may be difficult at times.

Good luck with your search - I searched for seven years and have been happily reunited with my birthmom, birthdad, two brothers and a sister - yep, I found a complete bio family!! I live on one side of the world, they all live on the other ( my a/family immigrated when I was a young girl) My birthmom and birthdad are coming to spend the holidays with my family this year and I am very, very happy.

Search and reunion is something I can't even describe - the last 18 months has been a revelation to me. I have experienced feelings and emotions that I never thought I even had - its been an incredible journey and I wouldn't change it for the world.....

I wish you the very best as you embark on yours.

[torresfamily121302]

hi my family and i are looking for my sister....my name is sarah....torresfamily121302@yahoo.com

[torresfamily121302]

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