[Silver]

At age 7 while sitting at the kitchen table with a friend of mine.....this particular friends mother was pregnant. We were making fun of how big she was and thought that her sibling was going to be very big, (had to be because her mom's belly was huge)....again we were 7 years old at the time.

I asked my mom...."Mommy, how big was your belly when you were pregnant with me?".....her reply was nonchalant...."I wasn't big when you were born, you were adopted".

Talk about the world falling down around you! My life is divided into sections now. There is the before I knew time....after I knew time and when my mom (adoptive), mom committed suicide time.

Now at 37 I have alot of info to go on reguarding a birthparent(s) search but aside from basic info, I have my own life now and am not really interested in any sort of relationship with them. I have left a HUGE trail of how to find me, (kept maiden name on many many documents....) The both knew my name, my bmother even stayed with my adoptive parents while pregnant with me. Both came to my house to visit after I was born.

Oh well, if it's meant to be it will be, if not then I guess I will just have to live with alot of unanswered questions.......

[baron3lou2]

7 must be a magical age where it finally clicks about babies and adoption. My neighbor and I were walking across the street and he told me and I didn't believe him and went running in the house to tell my mother what he said and told her it wasn't true. She said it was and she had been telling me for years and she didn't know why it hadn't sunk in until he told me. But I have always cherish knowing that I was wanted by my family. Even though we are very different. I looked at your bio and it seems were are just a over a year apart. I haven't looked for my bio- parents and I do have a desire just not the money. I only know what my mother was given by the adoption agency and they want money for info and in AZ they have mediators who want more money and there is no refund if they don't want contact. But I have enjoyed looking on this website and hope someday to find out something.

[jacleman]

I think I was either 7 or 8 when I "found out". I was home, sick, from school and so was my brother, who was about 15 at the time. I mentioned something about my mom brining me home from the hospital and my brother said "She didn't have you, she bought you." (Brothers are so obnoxious). Anyway, my mom explained that I was adopted and said she told me when I was 5. Well, that wasn't exactly welcome news to me, but I learned to accept it. I spent most of my child terrified that some unknown woman would call out of the blue and interupt my world. That all changed once I became an adult. My amom died of cancer when I was 18 and my adad passed away 5 years ago. I have an awsome husband and 2 beautiful children. I have thought about searching off and on for the last 10 years and I think I've put it off long enough. Sure I'm afraid she'll want no contact, but I have low expectations at this time. I guess I just figure I didn't have a choice whether I was adopted or not, but I'm not leaving this to chance. I don't want to have a "What if..." to look back on at the end of my life and I've decided that would be worse for me than anything else.

[Raina0831]

Originally Posted by jacleman

I don't want to have a "What if..." to look back on at the end of my life and I've decided that would be worse for me than anything else.

This is why I have searched. Yes, it bothers me at times that my bmom doesn't want contact and I'm not close to a number of bfamily members, but it's all OK. I have (for the most part) all of my questions answered. I've met members on both sides of bfamily. I feel content in that way and I have no regrets. At least this is ONE area of my life I can look back on and not have regrets.

Raina