[Sammy'sMom]

Hello, I'm very new to this forum and somewhat nervous. I've been doing a lot of reading within this site and it's comforting to find a place where people can releate to what I'm feeling.

I've always wanted to know about my birth parents. However, I never did anything since I didn't want to upset my adopted mother. She has a way of turning everything around to be about her, and this would be a slap in the face to her. I love her very much, but she is very selfish. I always just ignored my needs in wants as if it's because I was feeling ungrateful.

I'm 34 years old, and Thursday of last week, i had to go in for knee surgery. Somthing I felt was pretty common. However, when the procedure was over, the doctor spoke to me and my boyfriend about the seriousness of it. Essentiall, my cartilage is and has been deteriorating. Extensive work was done to try to get scar tissue to grow back and work as cartilage. The doctor explained to me that this is something that doesn't usually affect people until they are 55 or so. SInce it happened so early, it's genetic and he want's to understand familiy history to see if there is something I can or should do now to prevent further damage.

When I got home later that night, my boyfriend mentioned this conversation to my mother. She tried to dismiss it. I don't understand. I think if I had a child and there is something I could do to help them find out information that cjould help them in the future, I'd do it. It hurts.

Anyway, I've spoken to her serveral times since the surgery. the topic hasn't been brought up. What do I do? Why am I afraid to metnion it? I feel like I owe her something? I really need to find out some information to help with my recovery now and future procedures.

Is there anyway to just get medical records without identity for now?

[BrandyHagz]

Sam,

Have you tried to get your non-id? Sometimes they are helpful in the way of medical history.

If not...then try to do that.


Another suggestion, have a search angel locate and make contact for you...or you can have someone search for you, and give the information to your pastor, who can make contact for you.

I agree its important to have your medical history...I dont have mine...I'll never have mine...and it makes me mad, because my b-mom wont allow me to have it.

Do you have any information?

Maybe write her a letter telling her about yourself, and your medical issue...tell her that because of things in your life, you're not really for full contact/relations...but you may be able to work up to that in the future. Be honest with her about hurting your a-mom...have her mail a response to a friend or pastor...

Good luck, I hope your able to find a solution to your problem

[Sammy'sMom]

Thank you. To be honest, I'm just starting this search and I haven't even located teh agency yet. I don't want to ask my adopted mother. I just keep hoping I can do an internet search and it will just appear

I know that's not going to happen. For some reason I'm hesitating with the search. I don't want to be rejected again...

[BrandyHagz]

Rejection is a hard pill to swallow, but it can happen.

Do you have any information about your birth? Obviously you know the city and state, but have you heard anything else?

Like I said, have someone else make contact...that will make things a bit easier for you.

Having your medical history is very important...

[cledwards77]

Hi,

I posted this once somewhere else, and I found it from one of Mgonza1's postings. (Hope it's o.k.)

Mgonza1 has many great searching resources for when you are ready, but this one caught my eye, because of it's ability to obtain medical info.

Anyway, here goes:

http://www.adoption-free-search.org/index.htm

This should help you.

Best wishes and good luck

Cris
cledwards77@aol.com