[Bassette]

Have any of you tried domestic adoption prior to international? What made you choose international over domestic? I was under the impression that international adoption was more expensive but the only way to obtain an infant within a reasonable amount of time, but I am reading that the prices and timeline are about the same.

*hmmmmm*

[becky]

Why I chose international?
1. You rarely ever have a birthmother change her mind during the process. If she does, you will be given another referral.
2. You NEVER have a birthmother change her mind after the child has been placed with you.
3. In Guatemala there is little alcohol or drug abuse.
4. As long as you choose a reputable agency you will not spend a lot of money and NOT end up with a child. With domestic, you can support the birthmother during the pregnancy, pay for the delivery, and still not receive the baby if she changes her mind.
5. With international adoption, you do not have to 'sell yourself' to prospective birthmothers. With domestic you have to be willing to give it the hard sell, if you want to convince a birthmother to 'choose' you.

Of course there are many domestic adoption success stories. Do not get me wrong, it's a perfectly wonderful way to create or add to your family. But you asked why I chose international and these are the reasons.

Good Luck with your decision.

Becky

[Mary Mulcahy]

I choose international adoption for many of the same reasons as Becky stated, but also because I am a single woman. Most birthmom want a couple (unless you are Rosie O'Donnell) and age plays a role. I am 40ish and basically international (aside from trying the sperm donor route) was my only option. For me, it was a positive experience, and being a mother is everything I dreamed of. All types of adoption have their stresses, so a family has to pick one that meet their comfort level. Mary, mom to Daniel Jordan Jose, home December 24, 2002.

[khnath]

We did choose domestic adoption twice. We adopted our son domestically as an infant, and then 16 mos later started the process for our 2nd child. We "waited" in the domestic program for a year without being chosen. Partly (we feel) because we all ready a son, and I don't know what birthmom's are looking for but believe a majority of them like to chose childless couples first if they connect with them and can do that. Also, each call we received about "questionable" situation was for a boy except for one. Next, we had a failed adoption attempt before bringing our son home. We chosen by the birthmom a month before her due date, and went and bought all the stuff for little boy and some things specific to colic and after birth she decided to parent the baby herself. Naturally we were saddened and didn't know how long we'd have to wait for our little miracle, but we were blessed with our little guy 2 1/2mos later. We got the call, and couldn't believe it. Our son was all ready born and we didn't have anything ready it all happened so fast.

After lots of prayer we decided that we really wanted a little girl this time, and felt the best way to make that happen was to go international. Also, our agency uses a sliding fee scale for adoptions and we were at the top of the scale for a domestic adoption, and the cost wasn't going to be more than 6-7,000.00 more (after the tax credit) than if we'd adopted domestically.

We chose Guatemala because of the shorter trip. All of the European countries are 2-3 weeks minimum, and we couldn't bring our son on a trip like that and couldn't bare to be away from him for that long either.

[tootsi20023]

Well, I had posted my opinion regarding international vs Domestic, but then I read the above post and thought it doesn't matter what my feelings are and I don't want to offend birth mothers out there (not realizing this would be an issue.)

But, I do have to agree with Becky and Sidra. All of their points are valid and understanding.

I didn't have any desire to adopt domestically and the above post is a great example as to why. With that said, I wish you the best!

Michelle
Waiting for our dd from Guatemala

[denise marie]

I had 3 failed open adoptions and then the state is a pain in the arse to work with.I gave up didnt wanna deal with parents and the State.Best thing i could of done my 7 yr old daughter has been home 4 months now from India and now we are in the process of an adorable 3 yr old boy from India.I spent toooo many years trying to adopt domestically.Yes it can be expensive but i look in 7 yr old daughters smiling face and think every day how blessed we are to have her.