[JustBarbara]

I know the answer to this DS is 5 1/2 and in the last several months we have been running into fellow Guatemalan-born kids. They all have darker skin and most look somewhat Mayan (generalizing I know). So we were at a Home Depot a few weeks ago and met a lovely girl born in Guatemala. DS asked why he didn't look like her and it made him sad I have to say I was completey taken aback. A colleague at work who is Guatemalan told me DS does not even look Guatemalan and could easily pass as my bio son. What to say to DS? I told him there are a lot of different looking people in this country. His skin is light but not pale light and his hair is almost black and he definitely looks hispanic. But then, I could also pass as hispanic - especially when I get a tan. Any words of wisdom? I always talk about Guatemala and how we are going to visit his foster family when he is older. And that I am proud he is from Guatemala.

[dac_cincy]

First I would say it is fairly normal to want to look like others. So validate your son's feelings.

But then, offer up picture books of people around the world and around Guatemala (there are number of children's picture books out there) to show how people in the same country are very different.

Your son may have a very differnt heritage than the other kids. We have friends whose children have more Maya heritage versus my son who has more ladino heritage. Many blogs show kids who all look so different, but beautiful and handsome, and who all are from Guatemala.

it is very hard, yet at the same time, he is exploring his identy and what it means to be Guatemalan.

Love and hugs to you,

[sak9645]

Tell him that, just like in the U.S., Guatemalans come in a variety of colors and appearances.

There are people in Guatemala who are Mayan Indians, and have tan skin and dark hair. There are also people in Guatemala whose ancestors come from Western Europe, and who may have pale or tan skin and blonde, brown, or dark hair. And there are people in Guatemala whose ancestors came from Africa and the Caribbean Islands, as well as from countries in Asia, and look Black or Asian.

To make things even more complicated, you might mention, people of one background have sometimes married people from another background, and when they have had children, those children may have been born with some features from one parent and some from the other.

While many of the children your son knows may have Mayan Indian heritage, there's a good chance that your son was born to parents whose ancestors came from Spain (hence the dark hair and Spanish features) and other parts of Europe (hence the light skin.) Reassure him that there's nothing odd about his appearance, and that he is just as good looking as they are.

And do try to take him to places where he will meet Guatemalans with a wide range of skin tones and features, as well as hair textures and colors. If your area is not that diverse, see if there's a Time/Life series of books, or something of that sort, where there are pictures of various ethnic groups in Guatemala.

In our own country, make a point of showing how many different hair and skin types Americans have. If you know any biracial families, point out that they have gotten some of their features from one side of the family and some from the other. And make sure you point out that they are all beautiful.


Sharon

[TheFoxx]

Several years ago - we were at the ENT's office for an appointment. My son was about 2 at the time and there was another boy, his age, with a white Mom - he appeared to be Asian. I assumed either he had an Asian father or was from Korea. His Mom asked me if my son was Guatemalan. I said yes. Imagine my surprise when she said "so's mine!". I had forgotten that Guatemala has a strong Asian influence. So, as the pp said, just explain that all people of all countries come in different shapes and sizes and colors.

[JustBarbara]

Oh yes, I did validate his feelings - they are his and they are real and I think I was surprised at him just blurting it out. Thanks for the comments - yes, I did explain that everyone does not look the same, even if they were born in the same country. Even in our neighborhood I explained how different some of his Indian friends look from each other - the color of their skin etc. Some are kids where both parents are Indian, some are Indian/Caucasian etc. I did show him the tourist booklet from my visit with him in 2006 and showed him the variety of Guatemalan people. He was happy. And he has friends of all colors as we are in a very diverse neighborhood. And ... I must say he is muy guapo! Strangers stop me and say oh, he should be a model - ah, no thanks! We also have friends who adopted from Russia and one little girl looks like she could be Chinese so I was able to use that as an example of diversity in Russia also. Thanks again for the comments.

[rlf0504]

Both of our children were born in Guatemala. Our daughter is darker complected with black hair. Our son is fairer, with black hair and Asian features but was born in a Mayan village. We have been asked if he is Chinese by people of Chinese descent. However, my husband is Italian and people often tell our son he looks like his dad.

Glad you are answering your son's questions so clearly. Variety makes our family much more interesting.

[mevertin]

My 2 Guatemalan boys are also very different looking. My 7 year old has dark brown curly hair and dark brown eyes. He is very tall and lanky. My 4 year old has black hair and black eyes, is very small and compact and looks very Asian. I have been asked if he is of Korean or Chinese descent on numerous occasions. They are both gorgeous.

Mary
mom to Bobby 14, Bridget 13, Angela 11, Eddie 7 (home 2005) and Naldo 4 (home 2008)

[mommytoEli]

there are several families in our town and at ds's school that have children that are guatemalan and about the same age....i feel like all of them are more what i would think of as more "typical" looking guatemalan.....eli is clearly hispanic but has lighter skin and a different hair texture than any of those we know in town. i felt like this made him look less guatemalan and maybe more spanish....until a few months back when we were somewhere and a lady pulled out a picture of her son and showed him to us. I was pretty sure her son was guatemalan, and so i asked, "is he guatemalan?" sure enough he was, and adopted. and then she confessed that she was pretty sure ds was too, but decided to see if we figured it out first before she had to ask. lol. so......I guess he still looks guatemalan even though his features are different from most of those we know.

we just adopted a little one from china...and she is of an ethnic minority in china and also not typical chinese looking.....oddly enough, multiple people have told us that they look alike. lol.

[questioning]

My friend's little boy is Guatemalan and he has a very "European" face (a pretty big nose, like his ADad who is of Mediterranean descent) with warm brown skin and very loose curly hair. People guess either that he's part AA or that he's South Asian (maybe he'll be a Bollywood star!). He looks a lot like a dark skinned version of his Adad's family.

[mevertin]

Eli's Mommy-congrats on your new little girl!

Mary
mom to Bobby 14, Bridget 13, Angela 11, Eddie 7 (home 2005) and Naldo 4 (home 2008)

[SKL]

My two daughters from different parts of Guatemala have about the same coloring, but their features are quite different. One of them has more oriental-looking features.

Our Honduran nanny gave me a mug that had faces of indigenous Guatemalan girls from different parts of the country. It showed that there is quite a range of features even among the indigenous population. And of course, the fact that many Guatemalans have mixed blood also plays a part. The other day I was on a Caribbean island and our cab driver stated that it was obvious my kids were indigenous based on their brown skin and straight black hair, among other things.

[Clare'sMom]

Originally Posted by TheFoxx

Several years ago - we were at the ENT's office for an appointment. My son was about 2 at the time and there was another boy, his age, with a white Mom - he appeared to be Asian. I assumed either he had an Asian father or was from Korea. His Mom asked me if my son was Guatemalan. I said yes. Imagine my surprise when she said "so's mine!". I had forgotten that Guatemala has a strong Asian influence. So, as the pp said, just explain that all people of all countries come in different shapes and sizes and colors.

I had to laugh at this post, allot of people ask where our son was born... our son is Guat/Korean, we have been asked many many times if he is Hawaiian or Japanese....

I add to the obvious visual differences (and to add a little fuel to the fire) in our family, my poor baby's sisters call him "the white kid".... he is so Cute and much fairer completed than SOME of his bronzed Godess sisters. He Also looks EXACTLY like his Dad who is German. They are both very tall, big boned, big ears and wiry curly hair... Go figure!