[JosieWales]

Originally Posted by annaguat

The only thing my two oldest adoptive children ever said was that they would not have liked being the only adoptive child in the family, meaning the only adoptive child between all bio children. Anna

And THIS is one of the big reasons we want to adopt again! (Other than we just loved it the first time around!)

[JustBarbara]

Originally Posted by JosieWales

...will Owen feel like he was a 'second choice' bc we adopted, then got pregnant? Like he was adopted only bc we thought we couldn't get pregnant? Like if we had gotten pregnant we wouldn't have wanted him? Which was not the case--we got tired of infertility treatments and decided we didn't care if we got pregnant, we wanted a child!! And we'd always wanted to adopt anyway, regardless of bio kids. Is that all the explanation he'll need? I always wonder what he will wonder about, how he'll interpret things.

I don't think sweet Owen will think he was second choice at all - after all he is the older Seriously, I can see where it might, MIGHT, be a topic if he were adopted after you had Ian but then ... I think a lot of us can be proactive in sharing with our children, be they an only, an adopted, an adopted with bio siblings etc. - share the joy that they are special and while I don't care for the 'things happen for a reason' phrase there is a reason why you became parents to Owen. And he is a big brother to Ian can it get any better than that?

Good point Anna - I can see if you have one of each how the other adopted one might want another adopted sibling but then would the bio child then say hey, I want another bio sib??

[JosieWales]

Originally Posted by JustBarbara

share the joy that they are special and while I don't care for the 'things happen for a reason' phrase there is a reason why you became parents to Owen. And he is a big brother to Ian can it get any better than that?

No, no it can't get any better!!

Originally Posted by JustBarbara

I can see if you have one of each how the other adopted one might want another adopted sibling but then would the bio child then say hey, I want another bio sib??

Precisely why we keep talking about having four total...2 adopted, 2 bio!