[SKL]

Originally Posted by Devora

How big of a group of kids? If your state is like most, the teacher:child ratio is based on the youngest child in the room. In our state I think for 3-year olds it's 7:1. In a well-ordered classroom it is possible even with that ratio to have a short conversation with a parent. (Not in-depth, but short while still keeping an eye on the kids.)

Personally, I wouldn't be comfortable with the kind of interactions (or lack thereof) that you're describing. Especially at this age I think it should be a parent-teacher partnership.

Their school is perhaps unusual in that it's broken into small classrooms which are each assigned to only 1 teacher. There are a couple extra teachers who can float around as needed. When one teacher needs to leave the room or comes in late or leaves early, they re-shuffle to stay within legal ratios.

In my state, I believe the ratio is 8-1 for the older toddlers (12-1 beginning at age 3, and they can have up to 2 2.5-year-olds in the 12). My kids' teacher currently has 7 students, but in the early morning before all the kids are dropped off, she has another teacher's kids with hers, and she's giving some breakfast while others are playing or crying for their moms. Then as soon as the classes break up, she goes and sits in the corner for "circle time." It doesn't matter what time I get there, it's never a good time to talk even for one minute. In the afternoon, she leaves before I pick up about 90% of the time (she has college classes and a second job), and if she's there, she's working in the infant room.

I like the one-teacher-small-class setup because it allows them to focus more specifically on what is age-appropriate for the specific group. The kids seem to be able to concentrate and behave better than in other centers I've seen where there are larger groups with multiple teachers. I can tell that the teacher really takes her job seriously and is patient and all that. From all indications, the girls are enjoying and benefiting from her class. But, she is young and probably could use some experience/coaching on teaming with parents.

So now I am wondering, should I invite her for a quiet coffee or something, or will that freak her out? Should I start up an e-mail correspondence with her? I think I will ask her tomorrow if she has an email address and if I could send her an occasional email. I think you all are right - that this isn't going to work as designed if we don't have some sort of connection, particularly while the kids are too young to really tell me about their day.

[JustBarbara]

About three months ago, DS's sub teacher told me "I have a complaint" about DS. Yikes, all of a sudden I was trying to think what it could be . "Well, I tell him to do something, then I give him a warning, then another warning, and still another warning and then finally I had to give him time out" Ummm - please, just stop at one warning . And yes, DS actually likes time-out so if you were to ask him to do something he does not want to do or have a time out he will tell you a time-out, please And yes, if there are some concerns they should ask if there is a similar trend at home. A three-year-old not jumping and running? Unless there is a physical or severe mental reason I cannot imagine. And I agree, the testing that is done in this country for young children is out of control. And you do want a partnership in a teacher but wow a second job and she is in college - she probably misses a lot. I try to observe DS for a few minutes at pick up but inevitably one of his 'girlfriends' will yell out "XX Your Mami is here" pointing to my obviously not great hiding spot. But I love to observe, even if it's in the playground with other kids or working on puzzles or, ... even disagreeing with other kids.

[Mommy K]

What I have experienced over the years is that some teachers made us feel like our children were the only ones with any issues... Then as I got to know other parents, each of thier children has one or 2 areas that need improvement...One child is too energetic, one child is too quiet, and so on. But then there are areas that they excel at individually too.

There are no perfect robot children, and instead of focusing on weak areas-I beleive building on strenghths is more important as these come naturally. Of course the weak areas need to be addressed--but this should not be the focus-it will damage self esteem.

[Suzeb1]

Originally Posted by SKL

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So now I am wondering, should I invite her for a quiet coffee or something, or will that freak her out? Should I start up an e-mail correspondence with her? I think I will ask her tomorrow if she has an email address and if I could send her an occasional email. I think you all are right - that this isn't going to work as designed if we don't have some sort of connection, particularly while the kids are too young to really tell me about their day.

This has worked really well with two of my daugher's teachers. While they often have time to say hello and a one-minute conversation, that's not enough time to talk about concerns, or what's working...and besides, I don't want my daughter to hear much of those conversations. Email has been great with two of her teachers who are very strengths based and really interested in figuring out what works. With her 2 year old teacher (who was good, but not excellent) I knew I would need face to face conversation to manage the nuances of our interaction. I asked her when she had planning time during the day and met with her.

Good luck, I have it figured out with child care...and next year I have to figure out Kindergarten. Yikes!

Susan

[jpeel99]

I think all kids are just different. My oldest,4, knows no stranger and loves an audience, especially adults. When he was 2, he rarely said a word in class.