[Amber76]

Many of you know our story about our sweet girl dying in Guatemala in Jan. of 2008. At that time, we asked the attorney if he had informed her birthmom that Ariana had died. He said, "I told my contact to tell her." Given what I now know about this attorney and the way he treated us and Ariana's foster family, I have started to wonder if he actually ever told her birthmom anything at all. So, the thought that I should somehow try to do a search to make sure that she was informed and to share with her the pictures and things that we have that were Ariana's keeps running through my head. On the one hand, her birthmom might be blissfully unaware that our shared daughter died and maybe she is happy thinking Ariana is happy and healthy here in the States. On the other hand, I keep thinking that if I were in her shoes I would want to know that my daughter was buried right there in Guatemala City and I'd want to have copies of the pictures of her taken just a few days before she passed away. Anyone have any thoughts or opinions on if I should search to make sure she knows what happened or not?

Thanks in advance for your honest opinions since I am totally torn about this and DH thinks I'm slightly crazy for even thinking about it so much.

[PackGirl]

Personally, I would search and allow the searcher to share the news, the pictures, and that way her mom can find some closure... of course, not the closure she is hoping for...but it would end the wondering and the worry....

jmo

[SAVeronika]

Lurking...

Although it is a nice thought to let her continue thinking that her dd is safe and healthy in a family somewhere, there's also another side to this coin. What if she goes her entire life hoping her dd finds her and hoping to see her again? I think you're thinking around the right lines, to just make sure she knows her dd died and that she can visit her grave is she wants to. It may not be nice closure, but it'll give her an answer that she might be waiting for her whole life. JMHO

[DeeVee]

I think you answered your question when you said "if I were in her shoes....." Of course it will be very painful for her to hear that her daughter died. But, wouldn't you want to know, and not be kept in the dark by someone hoping to spare you the pain, no matter how-well intentioned?

Even if Arianna's birthmother was told, you have pictures you can share with her; I think searching for her is a good idea. And you too will also have some closure, knowing that her birthmother knows and has a few pictures.

Praying for you and your decision.