[IloveDJ]

I need some advice. Our DS is relentless in his pursuit of the family dog. He sits on her, hangs from her neck, touches her ear and tugs on it, grabs her in all ways, and basically harasses her from dawn 'til dark. We've tried time-outs, gating the dog in another room, distracting him, incentives, and teaching him the proper way to pet her (getting him to focus on what nice behaviors get her to wag her tail). Yet, the more we draw attention to what he shouldn't be doing, the more he torments her. Fortunately, the dog is very tolerant. But she is 11 and deserves some peace. Any ideas or strategies that have worked in your homes?

Sara

[loveajax]

DD is outgrowing this....we brought our new dog home when she was 3 and OMG...the poor boo had his tail pulled, sat on, everything you describe. I think he thinks she is a littermate though and seems to "enjoy" it all (I can see how it would be tougher on an 11 yo dog!).

We tried everything you did but it just seems to have "lessened" with time....I hope your pooch survives!! Hang in there!

[jimanddarla]

Our poor Libby is an 8yo Chocolate Lab who gets terrorized by Abe. We do the same things - time out, raise our voices, show him how to pet her gently, etc.. I just hope he grows out of it soon!

When we got her we told the breeder that we wanted a tolerant dog, but now we just kind of wish she would give him a warning or show him that she doesn't like it. All she does is get up and walk into another room. She's so neglected! We try to show her love after Abe's bed time, but I bet you anything she sometimes longs for the days when we both went to work and left her home alone!

[Mommy K]

We don't have a dog, but we have cats and they are very passive--the good thing is when dd annoys them the just jump & get out of the way. DD is kind to them, but always is trying to put doll clothes on them, and they let her (dopey cats).

When I see her getting alittle too active around them, I put them in a quiet room & close the door for some peace. I am wondering if this works with a dog too? I don't leave them all day-just until dd gets involved with something else & forgets about them.
I have asked her too so many times to leave them alone-but she will not listen either-so for now, until dd is more mature, this is the only solution I can think of.

Good Luck!

[Hopingsoon]

My son is just getting to the point where he feels comfortable approaching the dogs (both 85 lbs! - and mom and dad feel comfortable letting him approach the dogs under close supervision) luckily, the female rottweiler loves the attention is exceptionally tolerant, and the male mutt puts up with him for a bit and then either puts himself to bed or heads for higher ground in an upstairs office where he can be by himself.

[shelbydog]

I'm probably not going to be real popular with my answer but here goes. What do you mean he harasses her all day? At age 3, if he tugs on her ear, he should get a firm "No - that hurts" and into timeout. And again, and again until he GETS it. It sounds completely unacceptable that he is hanging on her and not learning that boundaries mean boundaries, especially where animals/pets are concerned. One, it's terribly unfair to the dog. Two, it's a situation where someone's going to get hurt. It sounds like he is making the rules and you have given up. You need to find a way where he gets it. He needs to understand that animals aren't toys.

If he is as interested as he is (which is great, BTW), can you possibly involve him with her care? Indirectly, a.e. he scoops out the food, he helps brush her or goes on walks, or he plays fetch with her in a controlled, safe way? I don't think the dog needs to be removed from the situation(s). If he's 3, I think he does. a.e. there are direct consequences. If he tugged on a child's ear at the park what would you do? Get firm! You are in charge, not him.

For the other poster who mentioned giving their dog lots of love after their baby goes to bed, PLEASE be careful with this. Dogs can quickly associated the child with "less or no attention" and the child being in bed or away with "lots of attention!". It is important to show your dog attention and love when the child is NEAR. This is true especially for young babies, etc. It's the number one rule when "training" your dog to be around a newborn or new child. Involve your kids in the care of your pets and teach them to respect them, and also to be aware that they are animals. I wrote an article on introducing pets to new babies, and when I read this thread, it concerned me enough to get on my soapbox.

If the kid pesters, hurts or treats the dog out of line, the kid gets timeout or punished in the same way as if he broke another rule or hurt a child. Why would it be any other way? You are the parent! If he's 3 he can understand if you set the limits strongly. Stop tolerating it and put your foot down. I'm not trying to be harsh, but nice, sweet dogs can bite too and it's so unfair to your pet. Good luck!

[dance_muffin]

Totally agree with Shelbydog! YOU need to put an end to your ds's behavior with the your dog. And even with a gentle dog; there is a limit to what a dog can tolerate. A dog bite can happen!

[guatparents2be]

another supporter of shelbydog.

my concern is not only a bite, but also the treatment of the animal to begin with. it's one thing for the family dog to become second fiddle, it's another to have to put up with being tormented.

imho think children should be required to treat pets as they would treat other kids. that said, we don't care for time outs so i'm not sure i can offer an approach that would work, but whatever it is imho should be consistent and firm.

[IloveDJ]

Thanks to all for your replies and concern. I'll continue my efforts with greater determination and consistency. I wouldn't be here if I didn't have the utmost concern for the dog and the danger of the situation.

[guatparents2be]

best of luck. i can't imagine how tough that would be...

[dilgra]

We have 2 dogs, both are almost 11. one is much more tolerant than the other. Since our dogs are aging, we have spent quite a bit of time at the vet's office in the last couple of years and DD is almost always with us when we go. She also helps feed & brush them and will comfort them when I am doing things like ear cleaning etc...She is 3 and has been helping care for them in this way for over a year. I really think this has helped her to understand that they are living creatures and she needs to be gentle with them.

As others have suggested, can you involve your DS in the care and grooming? What about visits to the vet so he can see that they have to visit the doctor too.

best of luck to you

[jimanddarla]

Shelbydog,

I agree with everything you say. I may have been a bit dramatic in my description of what is going on. We don't ignore the dog while Abe is awake, and he does participate in her care. He does help us brush her, feed her and we all play as a family while Abe is awake. The dog has been great about knowing which toys are hers and which are Abes, so sometimes we'll play fetch with her favorite tennis ball. Abe always gets a kick out of it. After the boy goes to bed, we do show her additional affection, but it isn't the only attention she gets.

We will, however, improve our efforts to make sure he knows that pinching, pushing and prodding the dog are completely unacceptabe, even if it makes him cry.

Thanks again for the advice!

[kirbystarcat]

We struggle every day with our daughter and our cat. She is absolutely relentless and the cat seems to be a glutten for punishment because he just won't stay out of her path. I feel like we are constantly getting onto her -timeouts, putting her in her room, putting the cat in another room, discussing that she is not to pick up the cat, explaining that she will hurt the cat, taking away privileges (and yes we are very consistent and very firm with her about it)---its just not working, she is obsessed with the cat. I know she does it out of love and then gets mad when the cat doesn't reciprocate. She tells everybody about her cat and how much she loves her cat. I like the idea of getting her involved in his care. We'll try that route.