[MiloCook]

I have a question I hope someone will answer.

We know a couple who began the adoption process only to find that the mother is expecting twins - and is realizing she does not wish to complete the adoption, as she will be overwhelmed, already having one child under the age of 5.

We would like to pick up where they left off - is this possible, especially in Guatemala? The child in question is a 3 year old girl in foster care, and her foster parents are older and do not wish to adopt her.

[ej-momtobe]

I don't think that you could get the US government approval to do that now. If you friends already have the pre-approval that cannot be just transferred to you. It is spedific to them. The US considers Guatemela closed for IA right now, honors the pre-approvals they already gave, but will not approve new request.

Maybe when the system opens back up...if ever...whenever...

[lzriggles]

I'll PM you.

Best wishes,
Liz

[AdoptAmiga]

I know of a case, a few years back, that the original adoptive parents adopted the child (actually had an agency person represent them at the US Consulate in Guate) and this person brought the child to the U.S. Before the child came home, the workings of a domestic adoption were taking place. When the child arrived in the US, the newly domestic parents met the agency rep at the airport and the child was immediately placed with the "new" parents. Later, the domestic adoption was soon finalized.

[mommytoEli]

i was under the impression this was fraudulent- for one parent to go to guatemala and show themselves as the future parent of this child- knowing they will turn around and give the child to someone else. am i wrong?

[AdoptAmiga]

Possibly. Not sure of all the particulars, but the agency rep "represented" the original parents. There could have been more behind the scenes business w/ the consulate to make this transition happen that I'm not privy to.

[avoel]

Originally Posted by AdoptAmiga

I know of a case, a few years back, that the original adoptive parents adopted the child (actually had an agency person represent them at the US Consulate in Guate) and this person brought the child to the U.S. Before the child came home, the workings of a domestic adoption were taking place. When the child arrived in the US, the newly domestic parents met the agency rep at the airport and the child was immediately placed with the "new" parents. Later, the domestic adoption was soon finalized.

While I might agree this could be the best of all possible outcomes for this child, I think you have to be VERY careful about this because this could be interpreted as visa fraud.

What would most likely happen to this child if these "parents" back out is that she will live out her life in a hogar. I hope they fully understand this.

[2xaround]

This family really needs to be talking to their agency to determine what can be done legally. If they stop the process now, this child will stay in Guatemala indefinitely. If they complete the adoption and don't feel they are able to care for the child, they can work with their agency and the child can be adopted by a family domestically. This can be a very slippery slope though and there are some legal issues surrounding a child coming into the U.S. as an adoptee for the purpose of being placed for adoption domestically.

[Juilasmom]

How sad, I hope somebody adopts this little girl! Not to sound mean but when you decided to adopt (in my book) that is a commitment you make to a child regardless of what happens to you, unless it is a complete tragedy.

Wishing the best outcome for this little one!

[stephjoel99]

I'm going to put on my lawyer hat for a second and say that yes, if the adoptive parents brought the child home with the intention of placing her for adoption with you once they arrived - it is immigration fraud. And their *intent* is what turns it - b/c other parents have brought a child home from a foreign country only to end up disrupting for a number of reasons and placing the child for domestic adoption. And that is not a crime.

[DeeVee]

Originally Posted by MiloCook

and is realizing she does not wish to complete the adoption, as she will be overwhelmed, already having one child under the age of 5.

I am agreeing with the other posters who said that to complete the adoption, only to hand the child over to another set of parents would be fraud.

From my personal experience, I can tell you that having lots of little ones is not easy, but it can be done and it is not overwhelming. My five kids are ages 6, 3, 3, 2, and 6 mos. One of my 3 year-olds is autistic. (Every time we adopted, I got PG - after years of problems - go figure).

Anyway, are there days when I'm tearing my hair out? Well, of course! But all parents say that. My kids play together, watch out for each other, keep each other company, know how to share, and don't frown about hand-me downs. I hope the prospective mom will reconsider - my house is messy and a bit chaotic, and we sure can't afford much, but we have a lot of fun! Wouldn't trade it for the world.

[Devora]

On the flip side, I have seen lots of adoptions not go well for the child because the parents had unrealistic expectations about what it would be like, hadn't really thought through all the implications, didn't have time to devote to fostering attachment, jumped too quickly to making the child fit the family's schedule rather than adapting to the child's needs, etc.

This is especially a concern when adopting a toddler or older child and when adopting out of birth order. So if prospective parents really have second thoughts I think they should seriously consider them. While the child might have a relatively smooth transition, she could also have a lot of intense needs. DeeVee, I know you have a lot of experience with special needs and see the way it can work. But if someone doesn't feel ready to jump into all the possibilities with a full heart and eyes wide open then I don't think they should adopt. Sometimes second thoughts are an indicator that the prospective parents really aren't ready for adoptive parenting.

[sak9645]

No. You could not pick up where the other family has left off. It would be a new adoption, and Guatemala is closed to new adoptions.

Yes, I know of situations where a family has gone through with an adoption, knowing full well that they will not parent the child and turning the child over to the agency for placement with another family immediately upon arrival. I have personally met one couple who did this with a Russian adoption, and have read about others who did it with adoptions from other countries. I have also personally met an adoption professional who escorted a Guatemalan child in similar circumstances.

This practice is ILLEGAL. It is a federal crime. Agencies that cooperate in such an activity risk losing their license. Parents risk a criminal record that could prevent them from adopting again and could cause prison time or fines. However, there will always be agencies and families that will take the risk, to keep a child from being returned to an orphanage, possibly forever.

I cannot support this practice, which is not only illegal, but unethical. It subverts the whole concept of international adoption. It could also cause a foreign country to decide not to place children with Americans any more, which would harm a lot of parentless children, not just one.

Still, I understand why, in the interest of finding a permanent home for a child they care about, some people will take the risk. It is a heartbreaking situation.

[bhouston]

This sounds like a very sad situation....I for one do not understand how someone could have a *heart* for adoption and than when they find out they are pregnant want to stop the process and leave this very child they vowed to love....in turmoil without her family who she is probably waiting for coming to get her...and with the state of adoptions....or lack of adoptions in Guatemala...to even think of going back on your committment to this child...just makes me sad and mad at the same time....so many of us fought so hard to get our children home....and now because this doesnt work in the plan this family had ....they want to abandon this child..

I just saw a post on a ES board yesterday where....a poster insisted that there was MASSIVE and she did say MASSIVE child trafficking in Guatemala....and she had no reason to believe this besides reading the newspapers in Spanish...it is stories like this that even help fuel those fires I believe....

I hope this family can find some peace with their first decision to adopt and even with the birth of twins....coming to their family that they will embrace this little girl who they have committed to and include her in their family as well...There is something so amazing about these little ones from Guatemala! She will not regret the decision to bring her home....but she probably will live with regret....forever...if she turns her back on what was going to be her daughter...Beth

[mombyfaith]

Originally Posted by MiloCook

I have a question I hope someone will answer.

We know a couple who began the adoption process only to find that the mother is expecting twins - and is realizing she does not wish to complete the adoption, as she will be overwhelmed, already having one child under the age of 5.

We would like to pick up where they left off - is this possible, especially in Guatemala? The child in question is a 3 year old girl in foster care, and her foster parents are older and do not wish to adopt her.

This is so very sad and I can only pray for this precious little girl!