[JosieWales]

[I need your opinion. I was at a bbq this wkend w/a family that has 3 foster kids, ages 3 up to like 6.

Anyway, the 3yo kid was crying (normal stuff for a 3yo, not a tantrum or anything) and when he walked up to his foster dad the dad said something and then kicked him. Not vicious, probably left a red mark, if that --but it was mean-spirited, like Owen would do to Ian when Ian's already crying, just to goad him, you know? And every time one of his foster kids would go up to him, they'd end up crying. I know--I couldn't see it but I KNOW he pinched or jabbed that same 3yo once. He asked the boy if he'd taken something from his sister, and the boy said no (he had), and the foster dad jabbed/pinched/something so the 3yo started howling, and the foster dad said, "You lied to me."

]These kids are in process to be adopted by this family. I don't know if any of that above warrents a call to DFS. I don't necessarily think the kids need to be taken away, but jeez, some parenting classes maybe. A source said he's not a nice person. His wife is weird although doesn't seem to be cruel like that. It just makes my heart sick. I imagine the kids have been through enough, if they are in foster care at this age.

Do you have any advice for me? Call? Keep my yap shut? I would call anonymously...

[crick]

Please call.

By law foster parents CANNOT physically harm their foster children or even spank them. There are very strict rules about this.

They have been to classes btw...have to do that in order to adopt from foster care or even to foster. So there's just no excuse for them to not know they can't do this.

[dac_cincy]

Same advice as Crick- call now.

[angelkisses0102]

Call...my feeling on this is that I would rather call than find out down the road I should have called.

[melissa41]

We went to some fostering classes a few years when we were first interested in adoption and YES there are HOURS of parenting classes, books to read, homework to do and very strict rules about discipline

[gabriella_heart]

I would call as well. If they are getting treated that way out in public, who knows what could be happening behind closed doors. Poor kids.

[JosieWales]

Originally Posted by gabriella_heart

I would call as well. If they are getting treated that way out in public, who knows what could be happening behind closed doors. Poor kids.

That's exactly what my mom said. Really, I think he thought he was being sneaky about it. I saw the kicking through the window, me inside and them out. He only did this when no one else was up on the deck. I guess he thought those of us in the pool were blind.

[MamaS]

CALL! If this is the way the parents behave now, who knows how they will treat those kids when there are no "foster parent rules". Kicking and pinching a child is more that cruel - it is sadistic. And if he is being "sneaky" then he knows he is doing wrong.

[DianeS]

Originally Posted by JosieWales

I don't necessarily think the kids need to be taken away, but jeez, some parenting classes maybe.

As someone else has said, foster parents have already had hours - and hours and hours - of classes focused on parenting a foster child and abiding by the laws and rules of their area.

During those classes they learn that corporal punishment of ANY kind is completely forbidden. Foster parents may not pinch, poke, spank, swat, hit, kick, paddle, etc any foster child. That is taught, and repeated, and drilled in. In some areas, the foster parents even have to sign a statement agreeing specifically to that.

So I agree with the others, please do call and report what you saw.

[Slatond10]

Originally Posted by gabriella_heart

I would call as well. If they are getting treated that way out in public, who knows what could be happening behind closed doors. Poor kids.

That is what I was going to say.... if this was acceptable public behavior, what is it like @ home in private!

Just be prepared to not hear anything back! I did emaill DSS supervisor on relatives (trust me ugly situation) and knew little would change. But at least I had pc of mind that I spoke up for the children.

[Withay]

Call. If he is kicking/hitting/pinching the children then yes, they do need to be removed. Foster children have gone through enough trauma and there is no way, nor any excuse for them having to go through more at the hands of their foster/adoptive parents.

Please call right now.

[jcm]

Originally Posted by gabriella_heart

I would call as well. If they are getting treated that way out in public, who knows what could be happening behind closed doors. Poor kids.

My thoughts exactly. Any grown man that would do that to a small child has a screw loose. Please call. No child deserves to be treated like that. EVER.

I mean, would that guy like it if one his friends did that to HIM?

[plum93]

Definately call. Also, they do take reports more seriously when they are not anonomous. They will still take it but I know from working in the system it helps to identify yourself (which I know can be hard to do).

[JosieWales]

Originally Posted by plum93

Definately call. Also, they do take reports more seriously when they are not anonomous. They will still take it but I know from working in the system it helps to identify yourself (which I know can be hard to do).

I have since decided to ID myself, for this very reason.

[giovanni7460]

Call.

Patty