[karen nickols]

My Dh and I have taken in his 15 y.o. niece while her father is in a 12 - 14 month long rehab program out of state. I would like to have temporary guardianship granted to us for that time.

[annaguat]

I think a Limit Power of Attorney for Children might be what you are looking for. This is commonly used and will not take a court visit to get. Anna

[mamaskoby]

I believe you need one if you needed to get her emergency care at a hospital.

[DianeS]

I guess it depends on exactly what you need. Perhaps you could make a list of the individual things you need to be able to do, and then see what option fits those needs the best.

For instance, you'd need the ability to approve medical care for her without contacting him.
You'd need the ability to deal with the schools - to sign papers, handle discipline issues, give approval for trips/sports/etc.
In the event law enforcement is involved with her in any way, you need the ability to deal with police and the courts - to sign papers, make deals, be fully informed, etc.
What else can you predict needing to do on his behalf? (Stuff with a learner's permit or driver's license, perhaps? Anything else?)

You also need to decide how the two of you want whatever agreement you come to, to be dissolved. Each of the different options that are possible for you to be able to do the "parenting" type responsibilities come with different termination options.
Is a stated date OK?
Successful completion of the rehab program?
Should he have to petition someone like the court to take back his parenting rights and responsibilities?
Can he get them back just by showing up and saying he's taking them back?

Once you know what you will need to do on his behalf, and you know what termination options you agree to, those ought to lead you to a particular type of documentation. It could be power of attorney, it could be guardianship, it might have to be agreed to by the courts, it might be privately signed papers you have with you, etc. But breaking it down ought to help.

Good luck! I hope it all works out for all of you.

[mommytoEli]

did someone mention insurance already? will the child need to be on yours? that will also effect what kind of paperwork/custody arrangement you need as well. lots to think about. good luck!

[karen nickols]

Primarily we would need guardianship to carry her on our insurance and for drivers training. We are not sure her Dad will agree. I also do not want him to just quit the program and come get her. She is going through a lot of transition, So partly I want him to be accountable to do what is best for both of them in the long run (drug free). Our other option is to try to get her on medicaid which is a system that is unfamiliar to me. I have 2 preschoolers and a sick Dad. I feel like (since I am doing the most of all this) I should have a bit convienience. Thanks again

[shanpine]

Ummmmm......HECK NO!!! I would say it's more of a necessity than an option! What if she needs emergency medical treatment? What about issues at school that need immediate attention? If you are going to be her guardian for any amount of time (especially 12 or more months) then I think that temporary legal guardianship is really important!
You are a fabulous aunt!

[Devora]

I think the list of questions that Diane suggested is the best place to start --- Make a table with all the needs listed. Then make a column for each option (power of attorney, guardianship, etc.) and check off which of the needs that option meets. You will probably want to check with an attorney who does family law on this -- there's a decent chance the consultation will be free. You need to know what the legal realities of each option are (which may vary from state-to-state) so you can make an informed request.

Then I would use that same framework in communicating with the father. Start by talking about the things that he is most likely to agree are important. Use lots of language that puts the two of you on the same team: "Your daughter is so excited to learn to drive. I know you wish you could be here to help with that. Even though you're not here, {fill in blank with legal option} will let her still have that experience." "I want to make sure you don't have to worry about what will happen to her if she gets hurt. {Fill in blank with legal option} will let us authorize medical treatment if she needs it. I'm worried that if she got hurt she might have to wait a long time to get treated if the hospital had to contact you and arrange to get written consent long-distance for treatment."

Also, reassure him at the same time of how he's going to be kept in the loop. "{Fill in the blank with legal option} will let us enroll her at school and talk with her teachers. Of course we will share all that information with you. Are there other things we can do to make sure you are in the loop on everything at school?"

His fear is likely to be that this will be the beginning of losing custody. Make sure you have all the legal information about how whatever option you think is best will be temporary and will NOT be related to losing custody. Don't avoid the topic -- have clear answers for him and let him be part of the decision making process. Maybe say upfront that you have information for him to consider about his daughter's care but you don't want an immediate answer because you want him to have time to think it over, come up with his own questions, and you'll get answers for him.

Best wishes.

[pvanabel]

I haven't been on here for awhile so not sure if you have this issue resolved, but I say get some type of Guardianship while you are resposible for child. We took our 17 y. o. cousin in last year and didn't have any and things went okay. But my 16 y.o. cousin who went to live with his Grandparents had none and it was okay for sometime, but now he needs medical treament for a trauma he witnessed and it has gotten messy. It is so worth it to have that piece of paperwork in case of a "what if..." Good luck.

[chester5]

I'd definitely agree. I don't know what the school situation is (will they be switching schools when living with you) but I am sure that the high school would desire documentation of guardianship.

Good luck to you, with all of your challenges!!!

[Bamamom07]

When we took in a relative's kid, guardianship was required. We could not place him in school without it. We had no right to obtain medical care or advocate for him without it. He was already on Medicaid. Guardianship did not affect that. It did allow me to add him to my Blue Cross. When he misbehaved, it made me legally liable. It is also completely reversible by the parent whenever they so choose. With this agreement, you are the legal guardian and the school, hospital, etc will treat you as the parent. Then when parent is ready to return, guardianship is easily ended and parent takes over. Fantastic option if the child is not too troubled. We did not need an attorney, and the judge signed it without the formality of a court date. The cost was practically nothing. I was also able to obtain SSI for the young man. You can't keep the kid without obtaining some form of legal responsiblity, and this is probably your only option.

[karen nickols]

We are pursueing temp guardianship and are thrilled that her Dad is doing Really well and is agreeable to anything we need while caring for her.