[JosieWales]

I finally got Ian in his own bed, sleeping through the night. Owen will sleep in his own bed no problem, but wants me or DH to lie on his floor till he falls asleep (eye roll). Or he has to fall asleep in our bed and I haul him back into his bed for the night.

Our house isn't that big, and I do not want Owen's howling to wake Ian up if I try to just toss Owen in bed and leave. I've thought of using our air fliter in Ian's room to drown out Owen if he does cry for us. Also, O is still in a crib. He likes it, and didn't like the toddler bed when we took the crib side off to convert it. He will probably try to climb out (and he can) if we put him in crib and just leave.

Should I make him use the toddler bed? Close his room door? I can't lie down w/him all the time. DH and I have zero time together if one of us lies down w/him. It's bad enough being back at school and football season, etc.

Any advice?

[angieandstever]

I probably won't be a lot of help but I will tell you what we are doing.

Gabbie always used to go to bed in her bed after a lengthy bedtime routine (if that is what you call it!) A few weeks ago she was coughing a lot so we let her start off in our bed because the pillows prop her up more than her crib, even elevated with towels. I stayed with her a few nights but then 30 minutes later she was still awake and I felt like a hostage. By the way, we had already done our 45 minute bedtime routine!!! So I started telling her she could start off in our bed but I could no longer stay with her. After about a week of her asking me to lay down with her she finally knew she has 2 choices. She can stay in our bed for a while without me or she goes straight to her bed.

Like I said it took a good week for her to get it but she does now. It has actually been working out quite well. She relaxes better and knows if she is not laying down and at least attempting to sleep she will go to her bed. It is down time for her because even book time is a little too fun and she is still hyper after. Rarely does she fall asleep either but she does relax quite a bit.

The only other thing I can think about is a timer. Maybe tell Owen he has you for 10 minutes in your bed and once the timer goes off you are getting up and he has to stay alone the rest of the time. Gabbie loves the timer for reading books! It works well for a lot of activities to be honest.

Good luck!!!

[mommytoEli]

have you tried music? when eli was going through this, we put an ipod and an ipod dog that lights up, in the boys' room. we played soft music, and the lights flashed accordingly. when the music was over, the dog turned himself off, and usually they were both asleep by then. i think the lights made him forget he wasn't sleeping in our closet or we weren't lying in his bed. i'm tricky like that.

[dac_cincy]

Bug has gone through the same stuff-

here is our current process-
1. he sleeps in my bed, but I do not get in the bed with him or snuggle with him once kisses and prayers are done.
2. He is allowed to get up once to give me hugs and kisses again
3. After that, if he gets out of bed or continues to call down the hallway, he goes to his bed.

Yes, it did involve lots of crying and tears- but to be honest, Owen is using the fact that you don't want him to wake up the baby to his advantage. You might have to deal with 2 kids crying for a few nights in order to break the habit that Owen has created for you.

Bug has used tears and screaming to try to get me to back down, but he pretty much past that at this point- or at least for this week.

I am not sure when I am going to try to force the issue to have him back in his bed- but it might be over Christmas break since I will be off work and our exchange student will be off school- so no worries about missing sleep.

Love and hugs to you,
Deb

[JosieWales]

Originally Posted by mommytoEli

have you tried music? when eli was going through this, we put an ipod and an ipod dog that lights up, in the boys' room. we played soft music, and the lights flashed accordingly. when the music was over, the dog turned himself off, and usually they were both asleep by then. i think the lights made him forget he wasn't sleeping in our closet or we weren't lying in his bed. i'm tricky like that.

How old is Eli again?And how old when you did this?

[mommytoEli]

eli is 3.5(i think he's 10 1/2 months older than owen). he was 2.5-3 when we did this(we started exactly a year ago). i also forgot...at the same time last year, after we started the music and were somewhat successful, we started a chart. it had 5 spaces on it, and each night he stayed in bed quietly, he got to color one spot. after 5 nights of being in bed, he got a treat- hotwheel car, cookie, movie of his choice, something like that. (for us, any reward was worth it in order to train him to stay in bed, not wander around the house waking everyone up, and not screaming!)
Incentive Charts scroll down to the middle to see different types of charts you can download and print for free. it looks like they are all large right now(they change from time to time), so you might have to make your own- like a tree with only 5 leaves. but at least looking at them will give you an idea of what worked for eli. we did this for about a month.

Amazon.com: Hasbro i-Dog Robotic Music Loving Canine - White: Toys & Games
here is the dog we have....he does bark occassionally....lol...which isn't soothing, but it didn't make eli freak out or not calm down. i seemed to be the only one bothered by the occasional bark.

editing to say...this isn't to say that he was 100% in his room and quiet without ever coming out again after that. lol. 6 months ago, on occasion, he still slept in our closet (on request), but it at least didn't involve the night time screaming episodes. now, on occassion, he will get up with a fake headache or need some water, afraid of monsters, etc, but will go back to bed without a fight. still...it is much, much better! we took the dog out after some time, but we are looking forward to putting it back in for christmas time with christmas music. it is such a treat now to eli, and he is really looking forward to it.

[SKL]

Is there any chance that he would sleep more willingly in the same room with his brother (and vice versa)? My girls have always slept in the same room and never had trouble falling asleep, save for some especially stimulating evenings or illnesses. I think it comforts them to have anyone else in the room. (I have always left the room and closed the door when it was time for them to go to sleep.)

[jeck]

No other advice but I was going to ask if you have ever heard of a white noise machine? We have one and love it! You could get one for each of the boys rooms and it will help defuse the noise...

Good Luck!!

[JustBarbara]

Hmm - DS is almos 3 1/2 and I switched him to a toddler bed over a year ago. BUT ... he prefers sleeping on the floor. At first I slept on the floor and he stayed in his toddler bed but for me the floor was not that comfy. DS suggested that I sleep in his toddler bed while he sleeps on the floor. Ah, no. So perhaps he might want to sleep on the floor?

Oh - forgot to add, after the last hug and kiss (as if!) I put on a CD of lullabies and most of the time he is fast asleep by the time it is over. Forgot about the noise machine - I might try that on the troublesome nights.

[amyfk]

I am curious to see the answers here as we just started trying to get our almost 4 yr old dd to go to sleep on her own after two stories. It's backfiring terribly!
Amy K, NJ

[AngelsMama]

We have done this multiple times with Toby. He's used to your company so if you want to do it without the screaming you need to slowly remove yourself from the room. The No Cry Sleep Solution worked for us. I went from laying with him to sitting next to him in a chair. Then after that I just slowly over the course of a month moved the chair towards the door. Then I sat in the hall...then it was good night sleep tight and down the stairs I went. We also used the incentive chart. I made one and each morning he got a sticker (the first morning he got a little toy to jump start the incentive thing) and then after five days, ten days sommething that he really liked that was small. We've gone through this 3 different times now. We went through this when he was 3 (after his sister came home...the transition was very rough on him) and recently after his sister's been waking through the night since they share a room. This last time was very easy.

[JosieWales]

Thanks for all the replies! Last night he wouldn't settle down in our bed so I whisked him off to his own crib. He said, "Lay down w/me, Mommy," and I told him I'd be right back--he was asleep in no time, w/o me there! I know that doesn't always work. I hate to fib to him... but I've said to him in the morning, "You fell asleep before I came back! You fell asleep by yourself! Such a big boy!" etc. Again, doesn't always work, but worked last night.

[mommytoEli]

Originally Posted by JosieWales

Thanks for all the replies! Last night he wouldn't settle down in our bed so I whisked him off to his own crib. He said, "Lay down w/me, Mommy," and I told him I'd be right back--he was asleep in no time, w/o me there! I know that doesn't always work. I hate to fib to him... but I've said to him in the morning, "You fell asleep before I came back! You fell asleep by yourself! Such a big boy!" etc. Again, doesn't always work, but worked last night.

lol...you are so funny. i am totally guilty of this too...but you are right that it doesn't always work. they catch on FAST. lol

[robandjulie]

Originally Posted by JosieWales

Thanks for all the replies! Last night he wouldn't settle down in our bed so I whisked him off to his own crib. He said, "Lay down w/me, Mommy," and I told him I'd be right back--he was asleep in no time, w/o me there! I know that doesn't always work. I hate to fib to him... but I've said to him in the morning, "You fell asleep before I came back! You fell asleep by yourself! Such a big boy!" etc. Again, doesn't always work, but worked last night.

Both of our kids have gone through short phases of needing us in the room but thankfully they were SO short we never had to face the task of breaking the habit. However, this is what we end up doing a lot when they're having a needier phase. If after our bedtime routine he is making a special request for an extra song or to stay in the room I will usually say something like "I know you're a big boy and can sleep in your bed all night. I need to go [do the dishes/wash laundry/take a shower] and then I'll come back and check on you. I need you to lay here quietly while I do that and as soon as I'm done I come back I'll give you more kisses, ok?" If they fuss in the meantime or are really distracting I tell them I need to do XYZ first and as soon as I'm done I'll come check on them but that when they fuss it makes me take longer to finish my jobs but if they lay there quietly I can get my jobs done more quickly.

And I do actually come back and do the kisses and hugs. Often I'll wake them up JUST ENOUGH so they push me away and grumble that they're sleeping and then the next morning I remind them that I did it and they laugh and say "yea, I was sleeping and was so tired!"

Both kids have very simple CD players and have lullabye CDs that they've had since birth/pickup. They also both have fans (summer) and humidifiers (winter) in their rooms as additional white noise to drown out the dog, us watching a movie downstairs, each other, etc.

[JosieWales]

Originally Posted by robandjulie

And I do actually come back and do the kisses and hugs. Often I'll wake them up JUST ENOUGH so they push me away and grumble that they're sleeping and then the next morning I remind them that I did it and they laugh and say "yea, I was sleeping and was so tired!"

Both kids have very simple CD players and have lullabye CDs that they've had since birth/pickup. They also both have fans (summer) and humidifiers (winter) in their rooms as additional white noise to drown out the dog, us watching a movie downstairs, each other, etc.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! You really go back in there after they are asleep? I am so petrified of waking them up I'll BARELY stick enough of my head through the door so that ONE eyeball is in the room to check on them. Then I slowly ease my head out like a spy.

I put our air filter in Ian's room 2 nights ago, for white noise (makes air smell clean too) and I like it. I'm going to find white noise machine for O.