[waitingforIsabel]

I read Deevee's post about potty training and got motivated to post with this question:
Do any of you have experience with older (10yold) boys and wetting the bed at night????? He is a bright , well adjusted, reasonable kid who was potty trained at 2 without a hitch. He continues to wet the bed just about EVERY night. I have tried limiting liquids, rewards, penalties, waking him to strip his own bed (not as a punishment, but as an incentive to keep dry) "alarms" that he wears on his undewear and begging him to please get up. we have even tried a chiropractor. I usually get up when he does and help him change out of his wet underpants and put a towel over his wet area or take the sheets off. OR he will just sleep in a lake of pee if I let him, although most often wakes up and climbs into our dry bed, waking us up when he pees there too. He is embarassed, and feels badly that his 3 year old sister is now waking up at night to go to the bathroom. Je would love to have a sleep over or to go camping with the boy scouts but is mortified that he would be found out. His pediatrician, last visit, said he would grow out of it, and didn't think there was a physical problem. He doesn't urinate more than usual nor have toileting issues during the day. I am having trouble maintaining patience and washing sheets every blessed day and mostly starting to worry about why he is having such a hard time with this. I plan on bringing it up at his next well visit in December, but until then any words of wisdom, experience or advice???

[DPline]

Yes! My 10 year old son (11 in 2 weeks) potty trained at age 3 during the day, but has never be able to stay dry at night. It is not something he can control. He sleeps very deeply and his body is just not able to wake him when he needs to go. Honestly, it is not uncommon. I can not tell you how many boys his age that I know of still wet at night, or have only stopped in the last couple years. (And these are just the ones whose Moms I know well enough to be discussing this with!) I have talked about it on the Forums many times, and there are many people here dealing with it or have dealt with it as well.

We have tried everything and anything (alarms, waking him, limited fluids, etc.) and in the end we are just waiting it out and using Goodnights every night. He goes on sleepovers and we just carefully pack the Goodnight in his bag so he can change into it in a bathroom and I also give him a plastic bag to put it in in the morning and stash in his bag to bring home. People have told me that their son stopped wetting when they hit puberty and I can say that son is wetting less the older he gets, so I do have hope. (An upside to puberty! ) Some people also have success with eliminating dairy after lunchtime. We found that it decreased the volume but didn't eliminate the problem for him.

Please don't blame your son. Use Goodnights (or we use Depends sometimes, but Goodnights are usually cheaper with a coupon) and let it go. It isn't within his control, and he will outgrow it.

Good luck!

[avoel]

I am a pediatrician, and I know this is not what you want to hear, but every kid just achieves night time dryness at different ages. Many kids who wet into the later childhood years do have a parent who was a late bedwetter so genetics is probably at play. Honestly it has NOTHING to do with how much he drinks after dinner, and there is not much he can do to control it. It has everything to do with the release of a hormone called ADH that is responsible for concentrating our urine and decreasing the volume we produce at night (bedwetters have less production of this) and with the signals getting from the bladder to the brain telling his body that he needs to go. So it is a double whammy...bedwetters produce more urine at night than normal, and can't tell when they have to go. It is a developmental problem, and it all goes away in its own time. He can't "make" it change. You can wake him at 11 to go to the bathroom and he will still wet again 3 hours later.

One thing that everyone treating bedwetting issues always checks for is constipation...because a full colon makes feeling and controlling a full bladder nearly impossible. Fixing that may make a difference with at least the full bladder sensation part of things.

Give your son the responsibility for cleaning up the mess. Make his sheets easy to change in the middle of night by using layers...a waterproof pad over a sheet over a pad over a sheet so he can just remove the top two layers and go back to bed without waking you. Use Goodnites for now...save yourself some laundry!

For sleepaway camps or important sleep overs there is a medication that can stop the bedwetting only for the short term called DDAVP...it is a nosespray or pill that takes some practicing ahead of time to get the right does. It replaces the missing ADH and can be used short term for important events...it can work like magic, but is not a cure. The minute you stop it the wetting will recur, and it is not well studied to be safe for long term (years) of use so I think it is a bit cruel to kids to use it for a while and then have to take it away when they are older and still wetting. So I use it for camp only.

As a mom I have one who will be 7 on Saturday...still wet every night. Baby sister is 4 and has been dry since 18 months. They are all just different. Hard as it is, you just have to wait. I haven't had too many parents (OK none) tell me their kids are still wetting when they go off to college so it does disappear at some point (though for some kids it does stick around into the teens and it is still normal). The trick is to not let it ever affect your son's self esteem while you wait.

[CaddoRose]

My DD took medication to stop this . Nothing else worked until she got to be about 10 and then her body began to produce the correct hormone to stop nighttime urine production. You can talk to your dr about this. It's better for them to get the replacement hormone than to try to wait it out. Some people never produce it , by the way, so the sooner you can get him some help the better.

[annaguat]

This posts sums up much of our experience with multiple bed wetters. We did have one child that had the constipation issue also. That child also ended up taking meds so we could go camping and the child could go over night to places. My older bed wetters had issues till nearly 18 but most stopped around 6 till ten years old. I am so happy with my two youngest, both almost 4, as they practically have no day time accidents and have no night time accidents. I agree that it is very comon. Best wishes for you and your son. I know how hard it was for my children that coped with this. Anna

Originally Posted by avoel

I am a pediatrician, and I know this is not what you want to hear, but every kid just achieves night time dryness at different ages. Many kids who wet into the later childhood years do have a parent who was a late bedwetter so genetics is probably at play. Honestly it has NOTHING to do with how much he drinks after dinner, and there is not much he can do to control it. It has everything to do with the release of a hormone called ADH that is responsible for concentrating our urine and decreasing the volume we produce at night (bedwetters have less production of this) and with the signals getting from the bladder to the brain telling his body that he needs to go. So it is a double whammy...bedwetters produce more urine at night than normal, and can't tell when they have to go. It is a developmental problem, and it all goes away in its own time. He can't "make" it change. You can wake him at 11 to go to the bathroom and he will still wet again 3 hours later.

One thing that everyone treating bedwetting issues always checks for is constipation...because a full colon makes feeling and controlling a full bladder nearly impossible. Fixing that may make a difference with at least the full bladder sensation part of things.

Give your son the responsibility for cleaning up the mess. Make his sheets easy to change in the middle of night by using layers...a waterproof pad over a sheet over a pad over a sheet so he can just remove the top two layers and go back to bed without waking you. Use Goodnites for now...save yourself some laundry!

For sleepaway camps or important sleep overs there is a medication that can stop the bedwetting only for the short term called DDAVP...it is a nosespray or pill that takes some practicing ahead of time to get the right does. It replaces the missing ADH and can be used short term for important events...it can work like magic, but is not a cure. The minute you stop it the wetting will recur, and it is not well studied to be safe for long term (years) of use so I think it is a bit cruel to kids to use it for a while and then have to take it away when they are older and still wetting. So I use it for camp only.

As a mom I have one who will be 7 on Saturday...still wet every night. Baby sister is 4 and has been dry since 18 months. They are all just different. Hard as it is, you just have to wait. I haven't had too many parents (OK none) tell me their kids are still wetting when they go off to college so it does disappear at some point (though for some kids it does stick around into the teens and it is still normal). The trick is to not let it ever affect your son's self esteem while you wait.

[waitingforIsabel]

Ah hope! Thank you, thank you for your thoughtful and wise responses. And Amy, that is actually exactly what I wanted to hear! I am so thankful that this is not so uncommon and that he will eventually outgrow it (or find a VERY tolerant wife!). His genetics is at work I am sure, as both his dad and uncle had a similar issue, although not as late (DH will love me for sharing that). I am going to try to eliminate dairy for a while and see if that will help some, and go back to Goodnights. I was concerned that his self esteem would be affected or at the least I was enabling him by continuing to have him wear them, but I can see how having an exasperated mom would probably do more harm. When we go for his annual well visit I will ask about the medication in case he has an oppportunity for a sleep-over event. I truly do not blame him - and for the most part he does sleep so deeply that he doesn't even realize that he is wet. So I am not so worried about long term damage to him! As long as I know that he is "ok" I will stop focusing on this and "let if go!" Thank you all, I know I should have posted sooner, I always find a wealth of support on this forum! You guys are great!

[momraine]

I had one that did not stop until 12.

[mevertin]

I have the same thing with my 9 year old daughter. Potty-trained before 2, but just soaked most nights. Last week we were in the Dells and I shared a bed with her in the hotel and I woke up in a lake of her pee and she never stirred. I ended up sleeping in the bottom bunk with my 4 year old. We have tried everything except for the chiropractor and meds. I do know her 14 year old cousin still wets the bed at night so I'm sure there is some type of genetic component with her. I guess we will just have to be patient and keep the washing machine running.
Mary
mom to Bobby 12, Bridget 10, Angela 9, Eddie 4 (home 2005) and Naldo 2 (home since Feb. 08)

[LJR1974]

My brother had this too. I don't think he stopped until around 12? 13? My mom tried about everything too. Nothing worked. He had the alarm underwear too. Slept right thru the alarm! They didn't have 'goodnights' back then. When he got old enough she taught him to use the washing machine. He just outgrew it eventually.

[mommytoEli]

yes. first i took him to the peds...i wanted to be sure that there was nothing wrong. peds said everything was fine....so when he was 10 or 11ish i told him he had to get up, put his sheets in the washer, shower, and go back to bed in his spare bed. it meant i always had to have the washer clear at night.....but it was worth it. this happend for a few months....for us, i think when he realized that no one would help him and there was no attention given to him in the middle of the night...and that he alone had to remake the bed the next day....he started getting up and using the restroom instead of wetting the bed and the accidents stopped by age 11 1/2 or 12. it was hard on me at first to abandon him during his night time crisis....but once i knew there was nothing wrong that needed to be corrected medically, i knew that he just needed to learn to take care of himself. it really did work for us.

now that he is older....i still notice pee issues....he has the bladder of my grandpa. lol. he can pee, and 20 minutes later be crying he has to pee so badly. i took him back to the dr...again everything checked out, and she told him he needed to train his bladder to hold his urine longer by not going so often....that when he realized he needed to pee, to wait 5 to 10 minutes to go. he still gets up and goes in the middle of the night at least once...but at least he is getting up.

[millie58]

avoel: ITA!! P, who I got at 11, wet the bed on a regular basis for about 1 1/2 years. His bio mom also had that issue. I just had to tell him to change his sheets. My youngest did it but he went on meds and is better now.

[Jensboys]

12 year old here is now intermittent, although ALWAYS wets when away from home. 8 year old still does too. Totally genetic I think, although my husband and I never did, both of us have a sibling that did, and our bio kids got the gene. We dont make a big deal about it and consider the cost of pull ups an investment in their mental health

[DPline]

Originally Posted by Jensboys

We dont make a big deal about it and consider the cost of pull ups an investment in their mental health

That says it all for me. We have talked with the doctor several times over the years and there is nothing medically wrong with DS. It is a sleep issue (you can not wake him when he is fully asleep he sleeps so soundly) and an ADH issue. We tried alarms (he never even stirred while the entire rest of the house was WIDE awake!), bladder expanding and holding techniques, diet changes, etc. And it was SO upsetting to him when nothing worked. It was so much worse than the embarassment of the wetting when whatever 'cure' we were trying failed to help. So now we buy Goodnights and just don't make a big deal about it, and he is so much happier. Our doctor will only perscribe meds for the very short term (a week of camp or whatever) because of concerns about its safety for long term use and because it doesn't provide a 'cure' so we haven't tried that, but we may go down that road eventually if he doesn't outgrow it by the time he is old enough for sleep away camp. But for now, we are just dealing with it and not worrying about it.

[devildogwife]

My former FD wet the bed every single night. Even with limiting fluids after dinner and having her wash and change her own sheets, it didn't make a bit of difference. She was so embarrassed and frustrated. Even waking her up during didn't help. Finally, we went to the ped and she started her on meds and it took care of it completely. She truly could not control that on her own.

[giovanni7460]

My 23 year old son had enuresis (sp). He wet every single night until he started puberty. Back then there were no special nite pants. It was very hard on him. He was day trained by 2.5. I had it as well. When I hit puberty it just stopped. Its hard enough that sleep overs are not done much. Its hard enough that the whole family knows and that your freezing when you wake up from the pee in your bed. So we talked about it and he knew that it was not his fault and that no matter how many times he peed before bed it didnt matter. His body and brain didnt work together. But it will come together. Poor kid I feel so bad for him. BTW my grandaughter who is 5 now suffers from it. I think the key is that you cant let them feel embarressed.
Patty