[shelbyintx]

My daughter started in a new daycare last week, and everything was going well until Wednesday. When I drove up to the driveway, the daycare provider was standing with two kids at the end of the driveway. I slowed down and she motioned for me to go ahead and pull in. While I was pulling in, a two year old darted out from the front porch and ran in front of my car. He was a good 20 feet away from the provider and she clearly had no clue where he was...

As I was leaving, the daycare provider told me it was a tradition for the kids to push the parent's cars out of the driveway. I didn't know what to think. She had all the kids line up in front of the car and push it as I backed out of the driveway. Then when I picked my daughter up that afternoon, she informed me that she had taken the kids to McDonalds for lunch and had been distracted and my daughter had wandered off. She was missing for a good 10 minutes before they finally found her.

I've decided to remove her from this daycare because I don't think it's a safe environment for her. The problem is, that this daycare came HIGHLY recommended by several people who I work with. They all have had their children in this daycare and absoltely love this lady. I'm sure they will be upset with me for pulling my daughter out. How can I handle this without hurting anyone's feelings?

[JoshGuat]

Momma knows best! You did the right thing! As far as people are concerned...it's your life IF they ask, you can tell them what you wrote on here, I am sure if there child was missing and the daycare didn't know where they were they would pull their child out Also, maybe they do not know what is really going on at that daycare, that's why they think it's so great, however, your eyes have been opened, and see what is going on there. The pushing the car thing is a bit weird for me. I wouldn't want my child to ever think she/he could push me away-a simple wave goodbye would do Hope you find a good daycare for your daughter

[manni28]

I wouldn't worry about it. Tell them what you witnessed and leave it at that.

Best of luck!

-Manni

[myrachel]

ohh man.. my daughter would be outta there in a second.. i wouldn't give a second thought to what people think.. if they want to leave their children is an obvious unsafe place than so be it for them.. & as far as pushing the cars out WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT ABOUT??? a child near a moving car is NEVER a good idea & they may try to do this at home where is isnt custmory & get seriously injured...

good luck & keep up posted

[linda512]

I would hope that if someone saw my child in a dangerous situation that they would tell me. I would want to know if something like you described was happening where my child was. So, I would pull my child out and tell the people you know why. if they don't believe you, or get upset, so be it. But if one of their children gets hurt and you knew it was unsafe, you will feel terrible.

[Devora]

If the "tradition" of pushing the cars has been around for a while then apparently the parents who recommended the daycare to you don't have the same definition of safety as you do. So, personally, I wouldn't go into any explanations of what you saw and what concerned you. I would simply say that it "wasn't a good fit for my daughter" and leave it at that. If they asked what I meant then I would probably keep my response vague like, "It seems like where she's at now {meaning the new place you'll find} is a more secure environment for her." They can interpret that however they want.

Personally, I agree with you about all those things in such a short period of time indicating a situation that is not as safe as I would want for me child.

[MamaS]

I would have my child out of there instantly. But, I would call whoever regulates daycare in your state and report the "pushing the car tradition" for the sake of the other children. Someday one of those children is going to "push" a car that goes into reverse and a tragedy will happen. Maybe your report could prevent it!

[lmvsmom]

Ummm, your daughter was missing for 10 minutes before she was found and you're worried what people will say if you take her out? I don't get it. You should be furious!

[pigmom]

This sounds like an extremely dangerous situation for those kids. A child should not be standing in front of a running vehicle PERIOD! The other incident is unbelievable. I'd report her to child protective services.

[SKL]

I would take the child out for sure. I would probably not get into it with the other parents unless they asked. If they asked, I would probably just be honest. Two scary incidents and one unsafe "tradition" in the first few days - nobody can expect you to blow all that off. Maybe it was just a fluke, but your responsibility is to protect your daughter, not keep your friends' favorite daycare in business.

I have to say I would find it hard not to get on this woman's case for letting kids run around in the parking lot. If she really doesn't see how dangerous that is, someone ought to tell her. Whether it's you or a state agency, or another concerned parent, I'll leave up to you.

You shouldn't feel obligated to stick with your friends' daycare under any circumstances. All kids have different needs. So your friends should be satisfied that you checked out the one they recommended and even gave it a whirl before deciding some other situation was better for your child.

[SKL]

By the way, you know how we periodically read of a family member tragically backing over a toddler? I recently heard that called the "goodbye syndrome." What a heartbreaking thought. It happens a lot more often than I would have guessed. Children should be taught to NEVER go near a moving vehicle, particularly when someone's going bye-bye. I agree with a prior poster - this "tradition" could easily lead to a tragedy.

[bhouston]

I have done daycare out of my home for many years....

I have NEVER lost a child for 5 seconds much less 10 minutes...was the police called? I also wonder how long your child was missing before she even noticed...she was gone? How do you lose a child at McDonalds? Can you imagine if she took them to a park? Good grief....

I would report this incident....Having done daycare I understand both sides of the situation but....Providing a SAFE enviroment for a child..is number 1...in my book...

Pushing a car away....who does that? And WHY would other parents even allow this? I would run not walk away from there as fast as I could...and make a call so they have a record on file if something terrible happens....I still am trying to wrap my head around the fact that YOUR child was missing for at least 10 minutes...and you were not notified...the police probably were not notified....alot can happen in 10 minutes...in the life of a child....she either has too many children...or she doesnt take supervision seriously....

Who cares what your co workers think? This is your childs safety....

From a safety point of view....I can not tell you how many times I have had calls from parents who do not know me at all...but want to start daycare with me for there 6 week old child....or any child...and they will come and drop them off and go to work and not even call and check on them...without a concern in the world...so some parents do not have the level of safety that you do...some of NONE!!! They are just glad to have somewhere to leave their child so they can go to work...so do what is best for your child...and for other children and make a call and file a report with the state licensing agency....Beth in Idaho

[Hopingsoon]

I'm sorry, but allowing small children to be anywhere around moving vehicles is crazy in my opinion. I'd be concerned someone would slip under a tire in this scenario. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my child there.

[debhorner04]

You were absolutely right to pull your daughter out of there! Safety should be the number 1 reason not to take your child back there! Kids have no business being anywhere near a moving vehicle! Does this daycare provider even have your permission to put your child in a car??? Your daughter was lost and the provider didn't mention this to you??? Is this person certified by your county or state? These incidents need to be reported! As for the people who recommend this place---who cares what they think! Tell them what you wrote here! Your child deserves to be someplace safe---obviously not there.

Good luck.

[Quesita]

Wow.

I'm glad you pulled her out of there immediately. And I would tell the other parents why. It does not sound to me like this woman has any control of these kids, and it does not sound like she has particularly good sense.

There is a local daycare/nursery school that a lot of kids in the neighborhood attend, and the parents swear by it. I visited, and was not impressed, and would not leave Liana there. But the situation was not anywhere as extreme as your situation.

The whole "push the car" scene? Insane. What if the drive accidently puts the car in drive instead of reverse? And losing your daughter for 10 MINUTES????? Liana and I were clothes shopping today, and she was out of my sight for 20 seconds and I went insane. She was playing peek a boo in the clothing rack, and was watching me, (and thought it was a game) so it was not even a dangerous situation. But I went insane. 10 minutes is a LONG LONG TIME.