[cbmstephanie]

I'm not quite sure when it started, probably a couple of months ago, we started talking about going to Guatemala. Now, she thinks we are going tomorrow!

We have several books about Guatemala and we read them and talk about the beautiful mountains and birds and trees. We also talk about her Foster Mother and her daughters and their children, who Maria refers to as her cousins. We see them on the webcam and have their pictures on the fridge. I try to talk about her Birthmother but she just doesn't seem interested at this point, maybe she just isn't concrete enough for her at this point?

I have told her that we would go to Guatemala on an airplane sometime soon, but it is very far away and it takes a little planning to be able to go there. She remembers going to visit Flora in Guatemala and how she threw up on the flight home. She says, remember how we went to Guatemala to see Flora and I didn't feel good and threw up all over you on the airplane? Yes, I remember that very well!!

This morning we went to get the clothes that we laid out last night to put on today and she started to cry and said, that those were her clothes to wear to Guatemala...she didn't want to wear them to just go to Judy's! (our daycare provider).

Tonight when the girls and daddy walked to the store Maria told daddy that she was going to Guatemala in the morning and she wasn't going to Judy's.

I do want to make a trip to Guatemala in the near future, I just don't know when...Christmas? Easter? Presidents Day Holiday? I'm not quite sure. Anyway, just wondering if any of your children have suddenly become entranced with the notion of traveling to Guatemala and what you have done to reassure them that you would be going, but it won't be tomorrow, and not have them disappointed or cast a negative shadow on their home country?

TIA!
Stephanie

[SKL]

I find myself often finishing sentences with "but not today." I think my kids are hoping for a worldwide tour by next weekend - leaving this weekend free for their birthdays (not)! But it is a lot easier if I put an actual (even approximate) date on things they anticipate. Such as, "in October," or "when you are four years old."

Maybe pick a "conservatively realistic" date and tell her that maybe you will go to Guatemala then, and show her where it is on the calendar and count how many days. If you go sooner, she'll be that much happier.

Another idea is to start a collection of small things that she can take to Guatemala when she does go. Maybe little trinkets or school supplies for kids in an orphanage there. If she has an end goal and builds up to it gradually, this will help her keep a perspective on how much time is left before the trip.

[Mommy K]

Our dd says similar things, she tells everyone her grandma Ana in Guatemala (her foster mom) is coming to visit. She's not, and I tell her this and then she says okay we'll go tommorow to her house.

Lately she's also been telling everyone that Grandma Ana bought her certain toys-(she didn't). She says it about almost every toy she has. One time I told her to be careful with her earrings that Grandma Ana gave her. Now it seems that her grandma bought her everything.

Yesterday, as she was doing time out, she told me she's going to Guatemala becasue grandma Ana loves her, and would never make her do time out.

I think she has heard many positive things about Guatemala and her foster mom from us, and of course she wants to go there, so Iv'e told her when she gets a little bigger, because it's far away, and we need to take a plane to get there.

Our dd is 3 and has no concept of time yet-so when I say someday it keeps her happy for a few days.

[mommyto2guatboys]

my 4 year old asks to go to Guatemala all of the time. We were there as a family about a year and a half ago and both of my boys just loved it. My oldest is just much more sensitive to things and knows there is a signifigance. He will tell me all of the time how he dreamed about Guatemala in the night. He asks me often if we can go to guatemala in a few days. He is getting good at knowing time so I can tell him maybe in December and he is happy with that answer for about a week. He also tells me that Alberto lives up there, ontop of the bluff but it's too far to just go there today! So cute, and I tell him, oh buddy I wish they only lived up there! Sorry probably no help on what to say to your daughter but keep telling her a time you think and when you do plan it let her be a part of the planning. I am sure she'll ask you every day then when you will be going, but atleast you will have a plan. Good luck with planning.

Magen
My family!

[JustBarbara]

I find at this age anything I tell DS about future plans he automatically thinks will happen tomorrow! Especially going to Guatemala or any other fun trip.

[robandjulie]

When we were waiting for DS's case to finish we talked with DD a lot about him coming home and us going there to get him and such. We ended up with a lot of the same conversations. "Mom, you and dad should go to Guatemala this weekend and come home with Jorge on Monday so we can be a family". Talk about breaking my heart!! Same thing with insisting that certain things were for when she went to grandma's and we were in Guatemala getting Jorge. I think at this age they, first, struggle to understand time at all and second, think they can control time or at least help get things done by being "ready". And then us not knowing when it may happen makes it harder b/c we can't just say "oh, in May we'll do that, right after Grandma's birthday" or something.

I would probalby go SKL's route and picking a date of next summer and if you go earlier, yay! Of course, if she's like my DD she'll insist that NO! We can't go now because it's not summer yet! but that will pass.

[nannyisme2004]

My DD was obsessing about going to Guatemala and wanting to live there as well. I have told her (per advice from our social worker) that she can travel to Guatemala after she graduates from college. If it ever comes up I always remind her that when she graduates from college she can visit Guatemala. This works for us.